Do you think there is a correlation between kids who run about in restaurants and don't sit up to a table at home during meals

[longlocks]

I believe so. As if a child who doesn't sit up to a table for meals at home - due to no table (seen property listings with no table) or parents being lazy and letting them eat in front of telly or in their rooms. Or don't have a proper structure of mealtimes, so eat a bit, run about, eat etc.

For these children, going out for a meal sitting up to a table is an alien concept to them.

The only times I didn't sit up to a table as a kid for meals was breakfast during the week as usually parents and myself had staggered breakfasts due to school and their work/other commitments. Or when I was ill. That was usually food eaten with hands - sandwiches, cheese n biscuits.

Think parents should only take kids out if they can sit at a table and only leave in these situations 1. Visiting the loo and 2. If there is a buffet - either a full one or for a part, such as Harvester with salad bar or places with unlimited soft drinks where the diners themselves fill up the drinks (Nando's)

No, I think you're being rather smug and getting carried away in your zeal to look down on other people.

Plenty of children don't "sit up to a table" because their parents can't afford one, or there isn't room for one. Many of those parents do a fantastic job of instilling manners and values in spite of poverty and stress.

Some families prefer more informal arrangements for meals for a multitude of reasons (none of which are any of your business). Many of those parents are also competent at instilling manners and managing behaviour.

Your assumptions are half-baked, classbound, culturally insular and embarrassing.

I think it's what behaviour is allowed in general. Not sitting at tables.

DS and I tend to eat dinner on the sofa together. For a while I struggled with the fact we 'should' be sitting at the table, but honestly life is so busy it's nice to have a time of day to sit next to each other and chat or shudders watch something, the ultimate MN sin! We love it, it allows us to chill after a long day, and it just suits us!

That being said, we also eat out regularly and I have never allowed DS to run around. He sits nicely, doesn't need a tablet (though sometimes it's nice - sue me), and eats/enjoys the experience.

No, it's bad parenting and unwillingness to tell little Damien and Shardonnay to sit down and behave or else.

🍪

10/10 that your data points are you own magnificence as a child, observing houses on right move without dining tables, and accessing a harvester buffet.

I can confirm there is no correlation.

My DC (toddler) is fed at the table for every meal. As a baby, she was previously fed in a high chair.

But when she isn’t hungry or she has had enough she will definitely let me know by jumping down (previously trying to climb out of her high chair). She would then try to ‘run around’ or explore if we are in a new place, or play if we are at home.

This is the reason we only ever go to child friendly restaurants. I really miss being able to enjoy a nice meal with DH without interruptions.

Thinking about it, it doesn’t happen at every meal but it is unpredictabletable. It is hard to tell how hungry she and how quickly she will eat.

I should probably add that by the time she is 4, I would expect her to sit at the table until we are all finished or she asks to be excused.

Attention spans are developmentally age appropriate.

We don’t own a dining table, our children don’t run around when eating out or sit and stare at a phone or tablet.

Fucks sake. More of this goady judgey bollocks. TF for the hide function.

We rarely sit at a table for meal times at home and my children were more than able to sit at a table when we went out for dinner. It’s called parenting and not letting our children run about feral, oh and shock horror , we never used tablets or phones to keep ours sitting either, we managed to have conversations with them!

God how many threads are we going to have about kids in restaurants? Today we've had one saying they shouldn't be there at all and 2 about how awful parents are either giving them screens or letting them run around.

What @sprigatito said

You've made yourself sound very tiny minded here.

There are literally millions of very small houses in the UK where even a fold up table and chairs wouldn't fit in the lounge or kitchen.

Yet plenty of people who grew up without a dinner table, have managed to sit at one in a restaurant from a very young age.

As always it's about supervision and parent expectations.

I took 3 of my DG out for lunch today. They all sat at the table. No screens and they behaved beautifully. Aged 6, 7 and 9. V proud. Good behavior when out is expected though

People teach their children how to behave in restaurants by taking them to restaurants; they don’t arrive fully formed with the skills. Do you really expect children to stay home until they’ve mastered the skills of being in public?

We didn’t have a dining table until we could afford to move house when the children were much older. So our DC were not used to routinely sitting at a table to eat. But we NEVER let them misbehave or run around when we ate out because we are not selfish inconsiderate cunts.

Not in my experience! My 3 year old eats every meal at the table at home. He knows how to sit nicely without getting up and moving around. It doesn't stop him from wanting to explore every time we eat out though... keeping him sat down takes constant vigilance.

My friend's LO is the same age and sits beautifully at the table when we are out, even in soft plays where he is surrounded by children running and playing. They don't own a table 🤷‍♀️

You would have no idea what goes on at home for these people

Yes. Other people are awful and you are amazing.

Showing your age!

We have a dining room table, but barely sit around it. We sit all snuggly on the sofa for dinner. Dh is tired after work and wants to relax. We also go out regularly to eat and have since dd was a baby (now 6) she sits at the table, doesnt own a tablet. We often bring colouring things if we stay quite a while. She doesnt run around and knows how to sit at a table.

This

We have a dining room table and eat meals at it - usually "as a family", sometimes the children on their own. We have done this the children's whole lives.

And yet, I have one child who has always found it difficult to stay at the table, very distractible, eats very quickly, wanting to be up and down. Only has improved in the last few years (is now 7), despite eating out at least weekly for whole life. And one who sits beautifully!

So, while it is easy to pat yourself on the back for your excellent parenting, I think it has a lot to do with the individual child as well

No, I don’t think so.

DS is AuDHD and at home he gets up and down as he needs to, which is a lot! We try to be low demand about it as it’s his safe space and down time.

If we eat out (if we think he’ll be able to manage a meal out) then he is firmly reminded that he needs to stay sat as that’s the rule in restaurants.

Going by my own home, no, no correlation

I do. Mine are 2 and 4yo and sit at the table for every meal expect in summer when we eat outside a lot. They chose to as well if you give them a snack. They're generally at the table for 45 mins for dinner, obviously quicker for lumch/ breakfast. They clear their plates and generally wait for everyone to finish- obviously 2yo can be a bit impatient depending on tiredness!

They sit well in restaurants, happy to wait for food and understand running around isn't an option for the most part.

I have friends who don't have tables or their kids eat everything at nursery. They don't seem to be as well mannered out and about but they're still small. I have one friend who has a mini table for her dc but it's in front of the TV, they need an ipad to eat in cafes.

Not sitting up at a table to eat doesn't mean that you run around instead. How odd that you think that.