Do you think there is a correlation between kids who run about in restaurants and don't sit up to a table at home during meals

[longlocks]

I believe so. As if a child who doesn't sit up to a table for meals at home - due to no table (seen property listings with no table) or parents being lazy and letting them eat in front of telly or in their rooms. Or don't have a proper structure of mealtimes, so eat a bit, run about, eat etc.

For these children, going out for a meal sitting up to a table is an alien concept to them.

The only times I didn't sit up to a table as a kid for meals was breakfast during the week as usually parents and myself had staggered breakfasts due to school and their work/other commitments. Or when I was ill. That was usually food eaten with hands - sandwiches, cheese n biscuits.

Think parents should only take kids out if they can sit at a table and only leave in these situations 1. Visiting the loo and 2. If there is a buffet - either a full one or for a part, such as Harvester with salad bar or places with unlimited soft drinks where the diners themselves fill up the drinks (Nando's)

No, my kids don’t ever run around a restaurant and yet don’t always sit at the table at home. Sometimes they do but it’s not prison meal time so we don’t force them. We eat out a lot, maybe twice a week.

I think most people are able to recognise that the setting, the boundaries and the etiquette at home and at a restaurant are different things. I don’t take their order from a menu or go to the bar for drinks at home. “Food time” cannot be guaranteed to always the same, ie at friends or families home, picnics, school dinner time, McDonald’s vs Miller and Carter etc so to assume at home behaviour is 💯 replicable at a restaurant is naive. You’d be better to teach manners and variation, the ability to adapt, rather than meal time drills.

You referred to your husband as “hubby”. That’s way more irritating than other people’s kids!

No my child has a table and chair which he sits at fine at home

He absolutely cant sit still at a restaurant which I presume is because he is in a new environment and he is nosey. Plus he's two and I know its just how toddlers are sometimes and they grow out of it.

My dd was like this. She just wasn't interested in food so going to a restaurant with her was really hard work and, in the end, not worth it. She's now a 14 year old who takes herself off for a pizza with her friends and happily eats what she wants. I don't see what the rush is to prove you're winning at life by having toddlers who sit for hours in a restaurant. They all eventually grow up.

I was totally unaware 'til 5m ago (reading this) that there was such a shortage of tables in England... it's no exactly a luxury item (can easily got for free, on gumtree for example) albeit i am sure there are some set of properties that don't have space in kitchen or living room to have one (but can't imagine that' common, bearing in mind planning requirements?)

My son has additional needs. He sits well at dining room table as it is part of his routine. He doesn't sit well at a restaurant as it is out of the norm and very stimulating. He wants to explore. We don't go out to eat very often and always choose somewhere child friendly.

I disagree. My children have always known that how you behave depends on where you are and the impact your behaviour will have on other people. At home we'll all eat sprawled on the sofa in front of the TV if we feel like it. Friday evening playdates were always pizza on a picnic blanket on the floor in front of a DVD. However by 5 they were both able to sit still at the table (other than the occasional boredom instigated trip to the loo) for a couple of hours at a formal dinner and knew to negotiate cutlery from the outside in.

They didn't run around in restaurants as they knew they'd be taken out if they did - a couple of times of going home before pudding and they learnt not to muck about and that it was selfish to disturb other diners or get in the way of staff - let alone dangerous if they were carrying hot food.

It's not a class thing - I've seen some truly badly behaved children in the dining rooms of London private members clubs.

We don't use the table much at home but my two (3 and 5) always sit up at the table when we go out so no I don't think it has much to do with it .

There are literally millions of very small houses in the UK where even a fold up table and chairs wouldn't fit in the lounge or kitchen.

I'm not sure about this. As a student i lived in a little single room in a flat share, amd even that fit a gateleg table, you can buy one from b&q for £20. They literally go flat against the wall. You can get a folding chair there for £17.

https://www.diy.com/departments/watsons-hideaway-wooden-fold-down-dropleaf-wall-mounted-craft-kitchen-table-white/5012053941068_BQ.prd?&&&&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw7Py4BhCbARIsAMMx-_IYEoeAtWUJRI4eh_i_AryHCsyJWbRa5-HKObXmzCIskbvOUNVbS2QaAi9oEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I do understand there'll be families in poverty/b&bs for whom even this is out of reach but its not millions of homes.

They didn't run around in restaurants as they knew they'd be taken out if they did - a couple of times of going home before pudding

LOL, mine would have been delighted to be taken home asap. They weren’t particularly bothered by pudding, either. Food was just an inconvenient in their busy day. They never begged for sweets or chocolate or ice cream. Were no more interested in cake than pasta.

I dunno but I always had dinner in front of the telly as a kid and never ran around a restaurant.

I was talking about things like which side to pass things on, which glass to drink from, which cutlery to use for what, when to start eating, no elbows on the table etc. Being considerate to others and knowing how to use a knife and fork are obviously very basic things. I don’t snatch food from other people’s plates and eat with my hands 🙄

I’m not sure there is a correlation between having a table at home and sitting at a table in a restaurant, as other posters have stated.
However if your child is unable to sit and eat with others, doesn’t enjoy it and runs noisily around a restaurant annoying other diners, they shouldn’t be there.

Agreed.

I miss being able to eat at nice restaurants.

But I won’t inflict my child on people who are spending their hard earned money treating themselves to a night out.

At the moment, that means we are restricted to lunches at family friendly restaurants. DH and I have to be very vigilant and sometimes take turns eating and entertaining DC. It is not that much fun for us but it minimizes disruption to the staff and other diners while DC learns and develops in an age appropriate way.

I am sure my DC will learn table manners and eventually have the attention span to remain seated at ‘naice’ restaurants. I am really looking forward to that!

Mines 1930’s small bungalow, probably designed for an elderly couple not a family - joys of the rental market.
we don’t have a large corner sofa or anything like that either.

@DifficultBloodyWoman - when our dses were children, we worked up from 'family' restaurants to posher ones. I appreciated the fact that there were more family friendly places we could take them, whilst they were learning how to behave in restaurants, and where any slip-ups wouldn't cause huge offence. I think your approach is a very sensible one.

See I disagree. We have a dining table at home, the kids set the table (just turned 4 and 18m) and we sit at the table for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks as a family, with the radio or a CD playing, no screens and talk about our day pull funny faces etc. They have manners and are polite, they ask to get down (age appropriately) and enjoy their food.

But I don't agree that that correlates to staying put at the table when we're out.

When we're eating out, we're often out with friends or at a child friendly place with colouring sheets or play corners etc. There are other people eating there too, not just us. There's a whole lot more to see and noises to hear. Sometimes the kitchen is open fronted and we can see in. There's so much to learn from seeing and experiencing all this. Our kids wait with us while we order food, then might go for a walk around and explore with one of us, smile to wait staff or other diners, look at pictures on the wall and head to see the kitchens. We encourage them. And when their food arrives they come back, sit down and eat together again.

Now I wouldn't say they are running around at all, and they are always supervised and running isn't an option, but they equally aren't sat at the table the entire time either. Children are active, not passive, and shouldn't be sedentary for long periods of time either. And insisting they sit at a table whilst in an exciting new environment rich with learning opportunities is a missed opportunity in my mind.