Do you think there is a correlation between kids who run about in restaurants and don't sit up to a table at home during meals

[longlocks]

I believe so. As if a child who doesn't sit up to a table for meals at home - due to no table (seen property listings with no table) or parents being lazy and letting them eat in front of telly or in their rooms. Or don't have a proper structure of mealtimes, so eat a bit, run about, eat etc.

For these children, going out for a meal sitting up to a table is an alien concept to them.

The only times I didn't sit up to a table as a kid for meals was breakfast during the week as usually parents and myself had staggered breakfasts due to school and their work/other commitments. Or when I was ill. That was usually food eaten with hands - sandwiches, cheese n biscuits.

Think parents should only take kids out if they can sit at a table and only leave in these situations 1. Visiting the loo and 2. If there is a buffet - either a full one or for a part, such as Harvester with salad bar or places with unlimited soft drinks where the diners themselves fill up the drinks (Nando's)

I think the correlation is more linked to parents unable to entertain their dc or plan for a restaurant scenario or just control their dc in general (or toddlers who are unpredictable bundles of cuteness who make even the best parents look like they’ve failed on occasion).

Was totally paranoid about choking when mine were small so in our house the rule was if you are eating your bottom is firmly placed !!

Very often that was in baby high chair or kids adjustable chair (Tripp trap) but could be on the sofa or floor. School age we always did snacks at the table as just less mess and I liked chatting to them at the tables

i couldn’t cope with thought of them choking if walking sbout - not having trails of raisins or rice cakes all over the house - so from weaning it was sit , then eat - if they got up - then food taken (not cruelly - but with a clear expectation of if you want more - you sit down.

never took mine to restaurants until they were old enough to sit and eat without our disturbing others. Always took crayons and books to help when younger but kept expectations low - certainly not expecting them to sit through a 3 course meal as they and everyone around them would be miserable.

if mine were little now I think I would use a tablet and headphones to keep them occupied whilst waiting for food / but not really available when mine were little.

kids running about in restaurants are a hazard to waiters and it is in my opinion unsociable to others having a nice meal having kids running around like it is a playground. I think kids need to learn that restaurant = sit and eat . It is not a place to play .

Consequently - we didn’t meat out with them until they were quite old as when they were little they just weren’t able to sit long enough (both kids have disabilities ) . I wanted going out to be a pleasure not a chore for us and other diners - so I waited until they and we could enjoy it .

I think my views are probably a bit old fashioned but it worked for us. As did reins that attached them to the high chair!!! Probably not a popular view but I felt it kept them safe !

I don't think so.

My children have always had meals at the table at home, but one of them struggled to sit at the table in restaurants for long until he was about 6/7.

We do have a table at home. We tend to sit in front of the TV for dinner. DD is brilliant in restaurants and is fully aware of the etiquette. The rule is, we don't eat in public the way we do at home as it's a different environment.

Lol, my ovaries are still hanging on 🤣

Do you even have children op, or are you pontificating from your ivory tower?

I’d love a dining table, absolutely love one. We just don’t have room in our rental, like plenty of other families.
my kids were impeccable in restaurants though, we had activity books we would do together and games (I miss them now they are teens).

your coming across as very very smug “I’ve seen property listings”. Like we are some sort of social study. Thats a lot more polite than my initial response when I read your post.

My DC are 21& 19 and when they were little most restaurants we went to provided colouring in/activity sheets & crayons. I see tablets as the modern equivalent of that. If it keeps the kids occupied for a wee while as they wait for their food what’s the harm?

I’ll eat a sandwich or snack in front of the tv, but wouldn’t dream of eating a cooked meal on the sofa or floor. I can imagine that grease, gravy, sauce, drinks or whatever would land on the upholstery or floor. Surely with small children running around it must be a nightmare with food covered fingers etc. A nightmare! There must be space for the smallest folding table, surely, or a little table in front of them to rest the food on. What about Christmas and other special meals? If children are not used to sitting quietly at a table, it’s not difficult to see that they’ll be running around a restaurant, doing their own thing. Saw a documentary about parents non conventional parenting methods, handing their children a plate on the floor in front of them. No cutlery, the children were pulling the food to bits. The parents were not poor or uneducated.

My daughter will sit and colour in and generally being an absolute model child in a restaurant. I had thoughts about sitting at tables too, which we do every day...
Enter my son who taught me not to be so judgemental 😂

Quite.

I'm also inclined to disregard the majority of what you said because you've used some kind of nonsensical phrase about "sitting up to a table".

Sounds like someone's being a misguided smug twat if you ask me. Back to the Harvester with you.

By all means you’re welcome to come to my house and find room for the folding table!
Christmas is when it depresses me most. But what can I do, I’m south east, where you get shoe boxes for thousands. I struggle to find room for a tree

Disagree. Both my children sit at the table for every meal and are very well behaved in doing so. They are not so well behaved in restaurants and struggle to stay put. But they are twins, so behaviour will always be more of a struggle

No probably not, a restaurant is a new environment with new people and it’s probably just over stimulating and exciting for them. Mine are teenagers now and I couldn’t pick out any of their peers who are unable to eat relatively politely at a table. Things that seem like the end of the world when they are little are rarely an issue later down the line ime.

I could have written this. Mine are early tweens now, and we’ve eaten a home-cooked family meal together at the table with cutlery and napkins at least once a day since they were 3 and 4, and often before that too. Some days they’re golden, but other times I could bloody cry at the amount of time I’ve put into teaching and showing them how to behave at the bloody table and they’re still up and down and messing and holding their knives like monkeys. My daughter has slow processing and she’s particularly bad - fidgety, knocking things over. So no, OP, you’re wrong, most of us are trying our best!

Not in the slightest. I know a lot of people who don’t eat at a table (probably more than those who do) and their kids don’t run around in a restaurant. To be fair I don’t think I know anyone who lets their kids run round in restaurants anyway but there’s certainly no correlation in my experience and their kids are very polite and well behaved (the majority of the time).

Those that don’t eat at a dinner table how do you get a child who is too big for a highchair to eat something like spaghetti? Does it end up all over the sofa? Not goady just interested in how it works in practice. When we go on holiday we really struggle if there’s no table.

I find it really hard to understand how eating on the sofa is relaxing. Do you put the plates on your lap or hold it and just eat with a fork? What if you eat steak? Don't children (and sometimes adults) just make a mess. I recently had to do without a table following a house move. I got terrible indigestion.

I don't think many people eat steak as their midweek or after work evening meal while sat on the sofa.

Sofa tea is usually something you can eat with one hand. I tend to sit crossed legged on the sofa with my plate on my legs. DS likes to use a lap tray.

Mine was in a proper high chair, then Stokke chairs, had a little table and chair… always at a table to eat, did all the right things, ate together, chatted during meal, blah blah followed every smug parenting manual and MN.

Never interested in sitting to eat beyond enough mouthfuls to assuage hunger. We put in so much effort to maintain sitting at the table.

Meals in restaurants take ages. The waiting for the menu, choosing, waiting for order to be taken. Wait for food, eat, wait for plate removal, wait for dessert.

After a few non pleasurable experiences we didn’t bother until they were older and suddenly became little foodies at about 7.

Wasn’t a good use of our hard won cash until then , especially knowing that smug judgey folk like the OP would be damning our entire presumed household habits.

Nailed it. Where is the correlation then (which is clearly wrong) between parents who take their kids out for dinner and the kids watch screens (sometimes loudly) and don’t interact with their parents. Because my kids spend time on screens at home (phone, tv, iPad, video games) but don’t ever do it in a restaurant…:::

No highchairs here, we’re asian so we eat on the floor and use one hand to eat, no issues with mess beyond the usual on a small childs face. Zero issues at all eating at tables when out.

My dgs doesn't eat at the table as his flat is too small to have one. However he's been taught to sit nicely at tables and I'm very proud of him when we go out and other children are running around and he's sitting still and having a conversation with the adults, no screen allowed.

I think you're correct op
Its all about training kids to eat at the table nicely.

Things have changed a lot since i was a child but i wasn't baby sat by ipads. I sat at the table. Ate my food. Joined in conversations even if bored to death

Something I tried to do with my own children. I always felt confident when we went out for a meal that they would behave

It is a slip in basic manners that has happened over a few years

My daughtert will get away from the table to do something and come back and eat some more at home. She is as good as gold at restaurants mainly because we have taken her to restaurants since she was 1 month old. She loves the restaurant experience. You learn how to behave at restaurants by going to restaurants.