To have frugality fatigue. (Cost of living.)

[KnopkaPixie]

Just that really. To do so well with finances for nearly a month then get an unexpected expense out of left field, pretending that lentil dahl is absolutely delicious, to have signed up to do surveys on YouGov and the rest and have made sod all, can't work any more hours, can't cut costs any more, can't claim anything off the state and to be kicking myself for not saving more when I had the chance. Just a moan really.

I never wanted to be that kind of miserable gît that resents every penny or knows, "The cost of everything but the value of nothing" But that's the way the value brand cookie is not crumbling right now.

Perhaps a bit woo but sometimes I wonder whether a real poverty mindset becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and perhaps a more speculate to accumulate mentality might do me better? Not any manifesting flapdoodle but just an idle thought.

That website is impossible. The page is 6 novels long. Why doesn't it just tell you the recipe?

Thanks for the post OP. Feeling similar -

Single earner, high mortgage, parents have always been low paid jobs so I never had any £ leverage. Just learning about the impact of being a single earner and the impact on cost of living, limited ability to save for emergencies (I have £25.00 in savings...) limited ability to catch my pension contributions up (after studying)...

Listening to this currently https://www.ajbellmoneymatters.co.uk/podcasts/how-single-tax-hurts-your-finances

Why is it single occupants only get a 25% reduction on council tax and not 50% - this would really help....

I haven’t lived in poverty for a very long time but remember the absolute monotony of it all and having nothing as a child and teen. My Mother was widowed and lost her mind when I was 13 when my stepfather died so I became responsible for running the household. I’m very scared of being poor again havhng known it. DH and I are very comfortable but he is very different to me as has never known that fear.

I thought your post was very supportive - no idea what that snotty response was about!

For me, this thread should almost be required reading. I have read every post, even though I can't really contribute anything, I have been very, very poor in the dim and distant past, but never faced the relentless slog to get past that, with seemingly no great hope for the future.

It must be so fucking soul destroying, and I genuinely wish you all the very best for a better future.

Yeah I get that too being four weekly paid. I will be affected in February and not be eligible for the childcare element that month.

Combined.

It's a bloody joke! I said I didn't get paid twice, I only got paid for what I worked, why is different because I get paid 4 weekly? All I got was they are the rules if you don't like it here's an addeess to complain to.

OP it is hard and sometimes very demoralising when you are on a relentless treadmill. DH and I have been there and although things are better now - even in retirement we are still paying off debts accrued during those really hard times. But living with frugality never really goes away - do you have a Community Grocery near you? A fiver for membership (some are totally free) and you can shop with points that will be valued at £15-20 in the shops. On occasions there are free foods to be had but it is not a food bank in the general sense of the word.
Our local CG sometimes often has a warm space where you'll be given a coffee and sometimes a meal. There are people to chat to - sometimes a cookery session going on using the days available stock from the CG, advice for debt (if you have any) other life skills courses or sometimes if needed some counselling on a one to one with a friendly non-judgemental person. Sometimes a chat is all that is needed to lift one's mood.

Try the George Alaghai Dahl recipe on the BBC website. No tomatoes, no curry powder. I put in garlic and adjust the seasoning to my own taste at the end, but easy recipe, delicious, freezes, cheap. You can get curry leaves in Sainsbury.

Hope you are feeling better. It sounds really stressful. Do you know where your local food bank is? You need to eat too.

Have just skimmed through a few of their vlogs and I don't think they're pretending to be poor (clearly they're not poor, no mortgage and presumably ££ in the bank from the sale of their UK property) but uber smug that they live to a budget.

Ah come on @Chypre people living on two dollars a day are permanently hungry and don’t have heating. If they get cancer they’ll die. I get you - it’s all relative - but don’t compare yourselves to those people.

That's totally unhelpful. OP you have a wonderful writing style. Thanks.

I looked at my partner today, mid 60's. Sad, old clothes, poor complexion, weighed down with worry.
No dahl will help that.

Thank you. I know it’s sounds stupid but that response really upset me, it actually made me feel tearful (and I hate myself for it). I was trying to give advice about eating cheaply as I remember how sick I used to feel going to the supermarket. I’m very fortunate that all these years later I am in a better position, still budgeting but the days of dealing with an alcoholic who almost destroyed our lives is behind me (he thankfully went in to recovery and it helped turn things around for me and my children but the knock on effects stay with you mentally). What that poster is on I have no idea but I found their comment ignorant and disgraceful.

What do you expect the DWP employee to do? They don’t make the rules the government do.
Complain to your MP. Maybe the government can make changes to how UC is actioned. But at least it stops all of the tax credits overpayments.

How rude. Unless you are of Indian or Pakistani heritage, its a bowl of beige slop.
This is not about the dahl.

She's not a terrible cook. She can't afford the ingredients to make a nice verson.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with your post, I don't know what's up with that weird reply either. I also don't know why they picked on you specifically, there are loads of people on this thread who've said they've lived like this for intermittent periods.

They then had an inheritance

Of course they did.

I was in your position for a long time. On pay day, I was already overdrawn. I cycled to work on a knackered heavy old bike because I couldn't afford the bus. My friends got fed up of me saying I could only afford to meet for lunch if I brought my own sandwiches. All my clothes were ancient. I would agonise over buying something in a charity shop. Learned to make the most of lentils. Dreaded birthdays, Christmas, unexpected expenses like shoes needing repair.

Life is much easier nowadays. Mostly, I no longer need to fret about affording things. The funny thing is that I look back on those hateful days with ... not nostalgia, because no one in their right mind would want to be back in that struggle, but with a kind of pride. I respect the warrior mentality that got me through. There are even times now when, decluttering the drawers, I almost wish I still just had one piece of clothing for each day. Things had more meaning and value when there weren't so many of them. (Also, I was slimmer and fitter! An easier life is not necessarily a healthier one!)

It's exhausting and demoralising, but the ingenuity you need to to get the best out of poverty will serve you well in the long run. And when one day your fortunes improve, you will never take any of it for granted, unlike many people who have had life handed to them on a plate and are never happy.

I expected the manager I spoke to, to be able to explain why this is the case, surely they should know the rules they are enforcing!

Because the twats who designed UC assumed that everyone gets paid calendar monthly, I reckon.

This was pointed out in consultations before UC became law, and the fuckers didn't give a shit. I believe that the official line was that it's possible to plan for this by putting away a little money every month to cover the month where you get paid your earned income twice, and that it all balances out in the end, because if you were monthly paid, your wages would be more and your UC less.

That’s totally uncalled for! Nowhere in the post, that you’ve responded so snarkely to, does it suggest poverty pretence. The poster is simply sharing their own experience of being skint and the choices they’ve made to save money.

There are people on the thread suggesting the OP emigrates, like that doesn’t cost money, yet you decide to pick on this one poster?

I think the poster meant poverty compared to the rest of the world now. No-one is going to starve to death, die in a bombing etc

That makes sense, people who have no clue about what it's like to live like this making the rules. There is nothing to put away each month, plus it's the same hourly wage no matter the date you get paid. It makes no sense to me, but what do I know, i'm just a scrounger😂.