To feel really pissed off with DH

[DribbleMop]

My day yesterday : up at 6. DC had a school thing which needed a lot of parental input. Came down to dishwasher finished but messy kitchen. Half sorted, but needed to get school thing done. DH up at 7. I haven’t seen him all week but today he is WFH. I’d say his get up is leisurely, manages to make himself a ground espresso and breakfast. Meanwhile I have DC (who has special needs) to get up. Yesterday I’d had to take DC to A and E for a head injury, then go to a parents consultation, then mow the lawn.
Got DC up and out the door with no help from DH. Then came back to clean the house and take other DC off for sports lesson/food shopping. Then back to sort out present/card for after school party.
I went to party but forgot to remind other DC about a lesson she has via zoom.
DH is aware DC has this lesson as it’s the same every Friday and he WFH.
Came home and lesson has been missed. Teacher is pissed off with me, DC is having meltdown as she missed the lesson, I’m back at 6.30, and the very easy dinner hasn’t been started.
By 7.30 I’m just exhausted and ask DH to put DC to bed.
DH forgets to toilet DC before bed. I’m woken up at 2pm by DC wee accident, I sort all bedding and DH only input is : “where was the mattress protector? Now we need a new mattress”. Mattress isn’t too bad IMO, I can spray and clean.
I’ve given up expressing my thoughts to DH. I just seeth inwardly…

Do you find him attractive OP?

It’s not the key issue but I’d go off my husband completely if I didn’t respect him and I couldn’t respect someone so completely useless and disengaged. Is the money worth it?

What’s the point in keeping DH around?

Speak to your DH and try to explain how you're feeling. If he has anything about him at all, he'll listen.

@Bestyearever2024 It never ceases to amaze me that the first option for indignant people who don't get everything their own way is to phone the solicitor. No wonder we have such a high divorce rate in this country.

You’ll find once posted on here it’s the straw and camel as she’ll have told and asked multiple times. Hence seeing a solicitor not at the first hurdle

Why seethe inwardly?

Time to tell him how you feel

Sounds to me like you have 3 options. Accept that the life you described is the only way it can be and carry on the same way, getting increasingly frustrated and depressed because you are being used as a dumping ground for every task. Get rid of the husband who is adding nothing to the relationship apart from financial input (which may or may not be a deal breaker for I) Put measures in place to make him take share the load of running the household.
If you won't do the third option (because you have put arguments up to any suggestions on the thread about making him take responsibility) then you are left with the first two options.
No one can tell you what your breaking point is but if you reach it you will have to make the decision alone - good luck!

You have 3 children!!!

“He catastrophes, makes a meal out of everything along with forgetting and having appalling time awareness. It’s just easier not to involve him.”

Does he have ADHD? Time blindness and executive function are real issues and can make someone appear lazy and selfish.

I’m not condoning the way he behaves as he seems very childlike, in fact I feel for you deeply as it must be like having a third child. I think you need to sit down and have a proper discussion with him about this as you need some help, to manage the mental load and to manage your expectations of him assisting you in bringing up his DCs

Don't you find his laziness and incompetence terribly unattractive OP? Maybe try telling him that you are finding his utter uselessness such a turnoff that you no longer feel you can have sex with him. It might be the wake-up call he needs.