To tell school DS is ill & go on holiday?

[ClunkyCoconuts]

I know I am BU but I am so fed up of the education system that I don't really care. I'd more interested in if other parents do this or would do this.

DS is 9 and has special needs. He was treated terribly by his mainstream school and the LA and subsequently was left without ANY school at all for 2 whole years.

He has finally been placed in a specialist school and is getting on well.

I've booked a holiday for next year. Cannot afford school holiday time holidays at all and also wouldn't like to go on one then anyway as it's busier which would be too much for DS to handle anyway and make the time not enjoyable for him.

It means he will miss 3 days of school. I don't like having to lie to the school but I will as I cannot afford the fine.

I know he will likely go back the next week and talk about his holiday so they will likely know he wasn't ill but what can parents do who cannot afford holiday hike prices?

I know holidays are a luxury but families deserve to spend quality time together and my DS has had a very difficult few years and has missed out on a lot due to being excluded from schools.

Before the new rules I would have asked for it to be authorised due to him having special needs and needing to go at a quieter time but it doesn't sound like any of this will be authorised any more.

Does anyone else phone in sick for their children to be able to go on holidays? I'm sure people must do.

Personally for me I don't feel the reason of "it affects their education" matters as the LA weren't bothered about that when they left him without a school for 2 years.

I'd ask that s on special needs board rather than AIBU. In your circumstances I'd do it for 3 days.

Permission to lie I guess?

I can't advise you on whether or not to lie, but I'd definitely take your son on holiday at that time if it's what works best for your family.

I'm a long time teacher and I really disagree with dishing out fines to families who just want to enjoy a few days holiday once a year.

If a pupil is missing for weeks at a time or jetting off on multiple trips in term time then that's another story. But I just think families should be given a break when trying to book a once a year, affordable break. A few days away will not massively impact any child's education.

She's not going to tell the truth by the look of it
She's seemingly made up her mind and just wants validation.

I have taken my DD's out of school for holidays before but have never lied and said they were sick. I just asked for permission. Luckily we were always given it, but even if it wasn't given I would have taken them anyway to be honest. If I was fined, the cost of the fine combined with the cost of the holiday during term time would still have been cheaper than taking them on holiday in the actual school holidays.

Our girls had good general attendance and we never took the piss and didn't do it all the time but did on the odd occasion. And we only ever took them for 2-3 days not a whole week or anything. While they are young and before they get to the pressures of secondary school I never saw any harm in them missing the odd couple of days off school. Being able to afford a family holiday, and to take a family holiday, for us was massively important. That family time is precious and to be able to relax and have fun together as a family and create memories is important.

This was going back a few years now and I guess the rules were maybe not as strict back then but literally everyone was doing it. It was never that much of a big deal.

My holiday was 1.5k cheaper term time. I'll take a fine if I get one. 2dc £80 per dc per parent £320 between me and dh . Still nearly 1.2k cheaper !
My kids got to experience a different country. Go to landmarks they will learn about in school. Use different currency , tried to speak a different language , and much more.

I would just take him out and email the school on the first morning being honest saying you are on holiday and how long your son will be absent for. I have done this previously and not been fined as our school used the holiday form as part of there fining procedure.

If you lie and they find out, they will fine you.
If they ring and it is an international tone, they will fine you.
If they can’t get hold of you, they will visit.
Is your plan to ask your child to lie?

The best you have is to ask and say you booked the holiday while he wasn’t in education (if that is the truth). Are you only going for 3 days??

YANBU to take him. Rather than saying he’s ill, I’d email and say he needs a mental health break and he’ll be back on x date. That way you aren’t lying.

YABU. Don't make him lie, it puts him in a very unfair and awkward position.

Just tell the school you are going away, you won't be fined for three days absence. It's better than risking the relationship between yourself and the school. I know dd was out of school nearly two years and it really alters your opinion of the system. We were once in the ridiculous situation where school wanted informing of our holiday even though dd hadn't been in school for months. Needless to say we went on holiday without saying a thing.

I am a headteacher. You cannot be fined for 3 days. Just request from the school. It’ll be unauthorised but means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Children tell us anyway and that’s really awkward

You don't need to lie - 3 days unauthorised won't get you a fine. It doesn't kick in until 10 sessions (in a 10 week period)

Just here to reiterate you won’t get fined for 3 days so be honest. I took my kids out for a week in September and have just paid the fine. I emailed the school to tell them. It was £80 per parent per child if paid within 21 days although if I do it again I won’t have the reduced fine so would be double.

Personally for me I don't feel the reason of "it affects their education" matters as the LA weren't bothered about that when they left him without a school for 2 years.

How long are you going to use this excuse to get what you want?

The LA aren't the only ones who's pretty lax about your child's education.

You don't have to go on holiday to bond with your children but if you want to, then save up for another year to go in school holidays.

I took my son out for 4 days last year (8 sessions) did not get a fine. Think it's ten unauthorised sessions in a ten week period.

I think don't lie, you have a good relationship with the school and want that to continue. Why risk it being awkward when you don't need to (it doesn't sound like you'll meet the threshold and your son will say anyway).

Her DS would still need the education she's fought for though.

He's nine, he's bound to blab he's been on holiday and drop you in it. I'd tell the school and face the music.

Education doesn’t begin and end in the classroom. My DD was under 70% attendance in year 9, left this summer with 12 x grade 9’s.

If it wasn’t for the fact your son has been off school for 2 years I’d say absolutely go. We did this with my DS when he was in primary school a couple of times (he’s 18 now, and we never did it in high school, they’d miss too much)
But your DS has already missed so much school, and given that he’s SEN I think it’s irresponsible of you to make him miss more school.
He’s never going to be able to catch up on that two years he’s missed as it is. You absolutely could afford to take him away during half term or summer holidays, it’ll just take you a bit longer to save that’s all
However, if the holiday is already booked and paid for, it’s a bit late to be asking for advice……

1. The fact that he had a poor time previously is irrelevant. In fact if he is behind it is more important that he goes to school.

However that said I think you should go but trying yo lie and justify it with all the crap about the la not caring before is ridiculous. Go and pay the fine.

I think your reasoning is sound. However you realise though that if your DS spills the beans, you may still be fined? I mean I see you have options:

1. ask the school, and explain needing a holiday at a quiet time. Hope they understand and authorise it. Don't go if they don't authorise it.
2. ask the school, and explain needing a holiday at a quiet time. Hope they understand and authorise it. Go anyway.
3. lie to the school. Go.

1 is the only way to avoid the fine, if you do 2 or 3 you may find that you get found out and fined.

Willing to bet the holiday isn't a cheap camping trip in the uk

What people do who can't afford something pricier in the holidays is they take time together at home, add in day trips, visit family in the uk, borrow a tent & camp at a cheap no frills site.

I'm not sure what the new rules are, but are the three days tagged onto a half term holiday? If they are at the beginning of one and you don't want to risk a fine, I would phone in sick. If after, it's a bit more risky. You could always say your son had a sickness bug after coming back from holiday. They are unlikely to question him on when exactly he got back. I don't think schools care all that much, it looks better for them to have sick leave rather than unauthorised absences.