To tell school DS is ill & go on holiday?

[ClunkyCoconuts]

I know I am BU but I am so fed up of the education system that I don't really care. I'd more interested in if other parents do this or would do this.

DS is 9 and has special needs. He was treated terribly by his mainstream school and the LA and subsequently was left without ANY school at all for 2 whole years.

He has finally been placed in a specialist school and is getting on well.

I've booked a holiday for next year. Cannot afford school holiday time holidays at all and also wouldn't like to go on one then anyway as it's busier which would be too much for DS to handle anyway and make the time not enjoyable for him.

It means he will miss 3 days of school. I don't like having to lie to the school but I will as I cannot afford the fine.

I know he will likely go back the next week and talk about his holiday so they will likely know he wasn't ill but what can parents do who cannot afford holiday hike prices?

I know holidays are a luxury but families deserve to spend quality time together and my DS has had a very difficult few years and has missed out on a lot due to being excluded from schools.

Before the new rules I would have asked for it to be authorised due to him having special needs and needing to go at a quieter time but it doesn't sound like any of this will be authorised any more.

Does anyone else phone in sick for their children to be able to go on holidays? I'm sure people must do.

Personally for me I don't feel the reason of "it affects their education" matters as the LA weren't bothered about that when they left him without a school for 2 years.

Just go if you're going but don't start making out it is about quality time or bonding with your child. Neither of those require being on holiday somewhere warm and sunny. You can just as easily bond with your child over a swim and a pizza at home in August. I am sympathetic to the difficulty of paying peak prices but if you take your child out of school please don't pretend it is for some higher purpose than simply saving money.

It's true about DS not handling busy environments. Before anyone says he won't enjoy a holiday, he does enjoy it but the nature of his disability makes him overwhelmed in big crowds/ around a lot of children. It will be much quieter on the dates that we have picked and I know he will enjoy it. It also allows for much needed time together as a family doing something positive together.

I don't like having to lie to the school as they are a good school and he's enjoying it so far. Yes he has settled well after 2 years out of school. 3 days off wouldn't disrupt that.

If it's correct that 3 days wouldn't incur a fine then I would 100% just be honest with the school and tell them but I was told that with the new rules a fine would be likely.

“Miss 3 days of school for bonding with family”
Dont you bond at home/in school holidays?
YABU. You can’t argue for the importance of education then lie so that you can remove him from it at your convenience, especially when you say he is getting really settled at school.
Be honest with school that DS is happier in a quiet situation on holiday, and ask for time off. If they refuse, it’s just hard luck you will have to go on a cheaper break in the school holidays, or have that bonding time at home together.

Didn't you bond when he was out of education for so long?

I did this when dd1 was in year 1. She came home and said she'd told three different members of staff about her holiday. 😁 (I hadn't told her to lie as didn't like to.) This was before the days of fines when it may have been authorised anyway, but as we'd already booked the weekend away I didn't want to risk it!

No Ive never told school my DCs were sick when going on a holiday. I personally believe that children missed enough school during lockdown and many are still playing catch up. So I wouldn’t even consider it.

Fair enough about not needing a holiday to be able to bond. I agree. Yes of course the cheaper holiday is an incentive but also as any SEN parent will understand, I can't take him out during the half terms or summer holidays because it is so busy and crowded everywhere and he cannot cope with it and it's just miserable for everyone.

Also to the question about having time to bond with him for the last 2 year he was off school - they were some of the hardest years we have ever experienced. The rejection he felt from being excluded from mainstream school and being messed around with so many different providers cancelling on him due to lack of funding or not being able to meet his needs caused some real struggles for him mentally. We also had other changes happen within the family. It was a really desperate time for us which we are finally recovering from.

To go away all together as a family will be a much needed positive thing after such a hard time. I don't NEED it of course. But I want to do it for all of us.

This. And I wouldn't advocate lying about being ill. If you intend on taking your son out of school, be honest for the reasons

Even if you lie to them if he goes back and tells school he has been on holiday they can change the register to unauthorised anyway. Just be honest

You do not have to lie, you are choosing to. I would not take my child out, especially if they had missed a lot of school. I also would not lie. Are you going to get your child to lie?

Well I know it’s a different school but The LA didn’t seem to give much of a flying hoot about Education when the said child lost out on 2 years of schooling due to how he was treated. it’s a pity they weren’t stamping their feet and throwing their rattle out their pram then

You could just be honest and say you are going on holiday

YANBU OP, the school doesn't own your child, though one wouldn't know it these days.

Be honest with the school.
If they find out you've lied (and the chances are they will - kids talk), every illness will be looked at with a skeptical eye. And the "illness" that was a holiday will be re-coded to unauthorized anyway.

A friend of mine is in exactly the same situation and has just taken her child out of special school three days early before half term. When she told the school the head said 'well, obviously you need to take DC before the main holiday rush as they would not cope with travel at a busy period. This is authorised..." so you never know, the school may be very pragmatic.

Check your local authority website for their fines policy. My county states:

A penalty notice is an alternative to you being taken to court by the local authority. If your child has 10 or more sessions of unauthorised absence in a 10 school week period, the school will inform our Education Welfare Service who may issue a penalty notice for each child to each parent.

I took my daughter out of school for 2 days for a family event, asked the Head who said unfortunately I can’t authorise that but have a lovely time.

You won’t be fined for 3 days and your child will talk about the holiday so don’t lie.

We will be taking DD. It’s in my DHs contract that he cannot take annual leave in school holidays as it’s their busiest time.

Tell the truth

No I really understand this. My eldest has ASD and she cannot cope when places are busy so we don't take her to them. But every so often it's nice for her to be able to visit a museum or somewhere like other kids do. I would happily take her out of school for a day to do these things, since she misses school trips to places too as going in a group and on a coach is too much for her.

Just be honest with the school, you'll feel much better about it.

If you're saying that the only holiday you can afford is a cheap local holiday in term time then I have sympathy.

If however you're like the majority that say "I can't afford a holiday" because you want a holiday abroad, then no I don't.

You cut your cloth to suit your money. We don't have huge amounts to spend on a holiday so we go to a caravan park on a last minute deal.

Why not just stick a couple of quid a week in a (sealed) jar until you return? Be honest and lose the uncertainty of being ‘found out’. If you get a fine- which is doubtful- you’ll have a bit of extra cash. If you do get a fine you’ll be able to afford it.

( you can do the maths on the amount needed per week).

Check with your school. Our sen school will authorise up to 2 weeks off as lots if their children cannot access holidays during school holidays as travelling when it's is so busy etc. Wouldn't work.
Only unauthorised absence gets a fine.

Why do you need to know if other people do it? You're very clear about your reasons for doing it, and that you're going to do it. What are you actually looking for from this thread?

If you can afford to go on holiday you can afford to pay the fine, you just don't want to.