Would you stay with a man who punched a door

[latenitewine]

As title says - would you stay with a man who punched a door and split the wood in anger?

With hindsight, no. I lived with a very angry man. He never hit me or kids but his rage was frightening. Screaming, shouting, banging things. Never saw anything wrong with his behaviour and won't ever change. They don't.

My ex punched a hole in my door in a fit of rage a couple of months into our relationship. I stupidly stayed with him because he managed to twist things so it was my fault he was so wound up. It took him years to replace the door and by that point, he'd punched me too. I finally saw sense the second time he hit me and threw him out. How he loved to spin the narrative that I'd left him destitute. Decades on he's still in a complete mess and everything is always someone else's fault. How I wish I had Mumsnet back then. I wouldn't have wasted a second more of my life on him.

Because for most it is hypothetical. Not suggesting that’s the case for everyone. I left my ex, not for an affair, but for something more unforgivable and I know how tough that is. Having kids means your life is intertwined still, and it’s not nice leaving someone then co-parenting and being a united front still. My youngest was only 2yrs old when we split, she’s 17 soon and it’s been tough keeping things amicable and a solid co-parenting relationship going. An affair i’d have probably forgiven for the sake of the kids, but I do admire women who walk away. As you know, when your life is connected it’s tough and often easier to stay. Well done for walking away.