Why would you move to the middle of farmland if you are scared of farm animals?

[RocketPanda]

I live in the countryside, surrounded by fields and until recently my nearest neighbour was a distant speck.
There was a derelict house that has been bought and renovated and I met my new neighbours yesterday. There's a big field between our houses and they asked was it used for animals. I said yes in the spring it usually has cows and calves in it. The husband said There better not be because he and their children are terrified of cows and big animals and can just about cope with hearing my donkeys.

Why on earth would you choose to move here then?

I have considered it but we made the fatal mistake of letting the kids name them. They are pets now.

@ElaborateCushion ' eat your corpse before you rot'.
I'm going to try and slip this in to every conversation this this week.

@Abracadabra12345 it's not just to the chickens at Frogmorton Farm. The husband can be a liability too!

Completely misses the point but I love our village Sunday church bells. Not religious at all but I just love sitting with a coffee listening to the bells.

That reminds me of this.

Quite apart from the taste, I dread to think how much "yoghurt" from a bull would cost!

None of them are worse than the seagulls in Rhyl.

Has anyone suggested getting a peacock yet?

Threaten them with cranberry sauce and remind them how many days left until Christmas

They're noisy sods

@Stressed178 and @twistyizzy - ah yes, the bells. I used to work at one of our country's lovely cathedrals. A new resident in a house next door to the outer close once rang up in an absolute rage because it was a saint's day and the "incessant" bells were driving him up the wall. Walls for which he had paid a premium for "stunning cathedral views".

He screamed "how f~~~ing long has this been going on for now, you stupid f~~~ing b~tch?!"

"Since the year 1093 sir." is the only reply I could offer. His indignation reached a pitch at which only dogs and bats could have heard him. I don't think he rang (hehe) back.

I'm not religious but I do like the sound of church bells. And I'll never forget the local bellringers who all, to a one, came out on the evening of the day my dad (who was a much-loved churchwarden) died very suddenly and tragically, opened up the church tower and rang a full peal in tribute to him. I expect that royally p~ssed off a few people too, but it meant a great deal.

I also once went on the Jeremy Vine R2 show many years ago to recount how I'd been chased out of a farmyard by a pack of guard-geese when I was three. I still like them though.

@DdraigGoch not sure I'd fancy Bulls Yoghurt either. A former colleague of mine went into the agriculture business and for a time was editor of a publication which gloried in the title of 'Semen World' - a sort of Argos catalogue for dairy farmers with pages of pictures of premium bovine gentlemen and prices for their services either by post or, er, "on the hoof".

@REP22 - totally brilliant, how you handled the complaint about the cathedral bells! Full of admiration!

YellowAsteroid · 27/10/2024 13:50

Our house cow could get temperamental if you didn't milk her (we hand milked her) in the way she liked. She had a way with tossing her horns (usually a lovely placid Jersey).

Guernseys are supposed to be pretty placid, too. Unless you feed them aniseed...

When I was at university, my dad was part of a crew refurbishing a model farm. I helped a few times and there was a friendly Guernsey cow, who followed us about, including into the tea shed, on one occasion. I used to eat nothing all day, except a tube of spearmint imperials, which she liked to scrounge.

One day, I couldn't get them and got aniseed imperials instead, She took one and very quickly started bucking about, thrashing her head about and rolling her eyes, with great strings of slaver, like a giant sized Cujo.

I was rather disturbed; she never came near me again, which made me sad,

Oh dear! They are in for a shock aren't they? Until recently we lived in the middle of the countryside, and we were always having to call the farmer who owned the fields next door out, because the cows would decide that the grass looked greener in MY GARDEN than in his field!! I wasn't scared of them when we went to live there, but having been invaded on a pretty regular basis, I learned to stay well away.

Ha ha ha!
Put a couple of bulls in there and let them see breed with the heifers!

Unfortunately there are far too many people that don't know where their food comes from.

A friend of my DM very excitedly said to her one day "Did you know?? If you run out of frozen chips, you can just use potatoes!!"

I think there’s also the issue of people not being able to say Thankyou, a distrust and “why are you giving me these’ …

her son later on was to break into our (and others) locked shed and help himself to a considerable amount of tools after rummaging around.

police could only charge him and the other who was with him, with receiving stolen goods.

I asked for my earlier post to withdrawn, as I'd specified areas.

I've rephrased it to be less identifying!

We moved from London, just inside a tube line, to a home county.

I chose 'country' roads to drive to work 15 minutes (cowless) away rather than the more main ones, and was happy to wait, loved waiting, while cows were being moved along that road. Better ime than stuck in a queue of cars, my previous experience!

There was also an honesty fridge for the cream from the cows, I loved that.

My Mum used to have an honesty box for surplus veg and for eggs from her chooks.
they used to LOVE it because she had a wide variety of breeds, so the eggs came in lots of different colours. she would write the name of the hen that had (probably) laid it on each egg. sometimes you could even have a good guess at which one of ones she had a few of had laid, because their shapes, sizes, texture, how speckly they were varied from each other.
some people used to even leave notes saying whose eggs they thought were the tastiest

The Great British Lay-Off 😉x

Aye yes, I remember complaints about bells from new comers to our rural village back in the 90s. They bought a house on 'Church street' so you think that might have given them a clue

Haha yes. Like the people who move into a house on "Water Lane" or "Spring Way" and then complain about the winter flooding.

Just thought I'd give a little update. The DC are fully on board with country life and are frequent visitors to Chez RocketPanda. I try to leave some eggs for them to collect of an evening. The Dad is still completely bewildered. He did ask about fireworks on Halloween and did seem to understand that animals and loud bangs and flashing lights don't mix so there's hope for him yet.
Dh says that next time he's transporting a seal to the rescue centre ( it's voluntary ) he might ask him along. Nothing like smelly seal poo to make farms smell delightful.

Raid your piggy bank and put T Rex in there !! Stupid idiots.

WTF?! Fireworks for Halloween?