to think that £100...

[frootloop]

isn't much to buy myself a whole new after pregnancy wardrobe, dh seems to think so.

i dont want to sound like a WAG but i really have nothing to wear except jogging bottoms.

none of my pre-pregnancy clothes or underwear fit anymore as they are too small and all my maternity stuff is winter wear and the underwear is too big now, i feel like a total frump and have no self esteem with my saggy baby belly.

i looked on marks and spencer website and with £100 i could buy

1 summer dress
2 nice bras
1 pack of tights
3 packs of knickers

am i being really ungrateful or is dh being tightfisted (he earns more than enough to give more and he buys himself whatever he likes whenever he likes)

Frootloop why dont you go for a wander round the shops tomorrow and write a list of exactly what you want and then give your husband a list with how much its going to cost, say 4 decent tops, a couple of pairs of jeans some dresses and skirts and some underwear and shoes and then give him an itemised list of what it is you need and what its going to cost and then sit down and talk to him about it.

My DF can be a bit tight and i spent the first year after our Daughter was born feeling like shit because i was dressing myself out of our shopping budget in Tesco, buying what i could afford and not what i rally wanted, had absolutly no self esteem as a result of that and the fact that i had gone up 3 dress sizes and refused to go out or anything and then when i did go out i spent the entire time feeling like a dowdy fat frump and comparing myself to my skinny mates. Do not let yourself get like that as it took a long time for me to sort myself out and i didnt feel like me again till dd was almost 2.

I did talk to Df though and he did pull his finger out although to be honest he's still funny with money although thats not a problem now as i earn my own.

You have a RIGHT to spend some of THE FAMILY MONEY on yourself, do not be fobbed off although if your dh is anything like mine you need to work things from an angle that dpesnt get his back up. The list is the sort of thing that would work in my house as would showing the selfish git exactly what you have in your wardrobe that fits you and telling him exactly how it makes you feel.

Good luck with it, money matters are a really PITA.

sarah

Oh and if you can get yourself to a Primark ( or primani as its called here )their £2 tops are amazing, i have one in just about every colour and they wash fab.

im only on page 1 but heres my thought get the £100 buy what you cn - show him and then say next week i will buy xyz and ask him outright for the money demand things get changed over ,how do you pay for your food shop do u go together? can u pop in bits from asda and tesco?? you are 28 youre an attractive woman get yaself glammed up again you can and will be a 'yummy mummy'

If he doesn't want his 'financial planning' spoilt then just agree from now on a fixed monthly amount to be transferred to your account each payday

he's home!! cant risk him reading over my shoulder, i'll nag again tonight about it.

frootloop! 'can't risk him reading over my shoulder... nag him'??!

Are you joking or is that really how things are?

find your nearest Relate

can i add without sounding petty- im a sahm and although we manage quite well i always have a scoot round the charity shops and i go to jumble sales too as a result i have quite a desirable wrdrobe for virtually nothing today im sat here in very trendy bootcut top shop dark jeans (20p)and a funky brown loose fitting smock top from sainsburys tu range that was 40p - its worth looking around,and honestly you wouldnt know it was pre owned lol

just lie about how much money you spend - treat yourself you deserve to be good to yourself! £100 is about average for a new wardrobe, if you shop carefully you can get most of what you want. Freecycle is also a great way to get items without any cost.

Good luck with getting this sorted, fruitloop. It's essential to your future happiness. I refused to move in with my now-DH until we agreed how money would be divvied up. It matters that much to me.

frootloop, how old is your dc? if under 12 weeks you can apply for sure start maternity grant
if you get more than the basic rate (£550ish) of child tax credit, you should get it. It's £500. hth

Everyone is entiltiled to the sure start grant i think as the baby element of CTC pushes you over the basic rate.

good plan dotsie

wilfsell- if dh was discussing me with strangers online and those strangers were not being very nice about me, i'd be furious and really hurt if i found out, thats why i don't want him reading over my shoulder.

its half sorted now, he's on the phone setting up a standing order to my private account
tomorrow he says he will go to the bank at lunchtime and get my names on the other accounts so im not frozen out if the worst happens.

Ah, that's brilliant, sound's as if this little drama was necessary just to get you talking about money... super super super!!

sounds not sound's

good news!

now go and buy a boden dress

actually go the whole hog and start a post-baby wardrobe thread (I'll lurk there)!

i might even push the boat out and buy ds a boden romper suit, a bargain at £18

FL well done - keep it up