To be sick of the word gaslighting?

[NotOneOfTheInCrowd]

Thats it.

Every time someone has an experience they don’t like they say they’re being gaslighted.

People need to and look up the meaning of the word, because by throwing it around so casually has led to the trivialisation of genuine abuse.

I agree. It doesn’t just mean “lied to”, yet I’ve had someone on MN vigorously argue with me that it does.

It's the answer to absolutely everything on MN. So tiring.

Totally agree.

Agree 100%

It's become an MN buzzword now like 'narcissist' and 'safeguarding'.

Another two overused words that people often don't understand.

I think yes there is a problem with the term being over used because people sometimes don't fully understand the meaning and apply it indiscriminately.

I think quite often people are very slack in their use of language. They use words inappropriately and without understanding the full meaning, especially when they are " buzz words" like gaslighing.

I'm a bit of a pedant when it comes to language. I'm a great believer in " language matters" and it's important to use the correct words in the correct circumstances.

It's got the join the list of other terms that 95% of MNers don't understand but confidently use anyway. Like GDPR and constructive dismissal.

Yes, I agree. Don't use a word if you don't know what it means. It devalues the experiences of people who have actually experienced gas lighting.

See also - anxiety.

See also, 'OCD'

lol, we could keep this theme going)

'Bullying'

Often said because someone disagrees, or due to very mild teasing.

Absolutely not unreasonable

I recently paid £7.99 to Prime so I could rewatch the film and be sure I hadn’t made my definition of gaslighting up.

And grooming and county lines. They are my other 2 favourites

"X Confronted me" (or "Shall I confront Y?")

No, X just spoke to you.

And you should really just have a normal conversation with Y.

"My neighbour stole my bin. How can I get it back?"

MN: "Knock on their door and politely ask for it back".

"But I don't like confrontation".

🙄🙄

I understand your frustration, but the problem is that a word's meaning becomes what a large and growing number of people intend it to be. This will depend largely on a person's comprehension skills, so it's inevitable that many people will not grasp the intended meaning. You can't however dictate that they don't use the word.
This is common in other areas such as "meltdown" for people with ND but also used to mean typical tantrum.

I suppose we need to decide how worthy we feel the meaning is and what larger implications it could have if it is being used in a different way.
I am part of a ND family but don't mind people freely using the word meltdown.
I do however object to people using the word woman when they intend anything other than a biological woman.

Totally agree, I wouldn’t mind so much if people actually understood the meaning of it but gaslighting just gets bounded about for absolutely everything these days, it’s really irritating.

I am part of a ND family but don't mind people freely using the word meltdown.

Well that's good because it was never 'owned' by any group of people, and as you say, different words can mean different things to some people.

But the phrase 'Gaslighting' only actually means one thing, and always has.

Particularly when you get threads where the title is " How do I deal with my partner/child/work colleague gaslighting me?" and there is absolutely no gaslighting involved. Plenty of unpleasant behaviour generally, but not gaslighting.

There's absolutely no reason to call it gaslighting when it doesn't affect what you are asking for (and may even detract as probably "dealing with actual gaslighting" strategies won't help you)

The fact that it has only had one meaning doesn't really make a difference if a large number of people still are unable to grasp and use it correctly.

It's like spelling and grammar. There might be an officially correct version, but if people are unable to use it they will still try and communicate however they can.

As frustrating as it may be you can't say that someone shouldn't attempt to say something just because they can't use the appropriate terminology.

Oh god I'm so sick of seeing someone say "Son had a total meltdown" and someone immediately posting WELL ACHUALLY your son had and tantrum. Only autistic children can have meltdowns 🙄

ND don't own the word meltdown it pisses me off!

"I fancy a cup of tea. I'll just go and boil the unicorn" 😳🤣

I recommend watching the old B&W film, ‘Gaslight’ - the origin of the word! - to see what it really means.
(For those who are using it incorrectly, obviously.)

Another one is co dependent. People don't know what it means.

They use gaslighting for everything.

Everyone and their dog is a narcissist.

OP, I was literally just about to start my own thread about the same thing! I’m sick to death of seeing this term being misused. It takes the word away from people who actually need to use it.

Also - not everyone you dislike is a narcissist
Not every unpleasant experience is ‘trauma’
Sometimes it really is just stress, not anxiety.

While we're at it throw in abusive. Every mildly unpleasant behaviour here is apparently abusive. A poster can moan that her husband is a bit messy or dared to disagree with her once and everyone starts piling on about how he's abusive and she should leave him. Ridiculous.

And every workplace is ‘toxic’.

No it’s not, your boss is just asking a reasonable request and you don’t like it.