To be sick of the word gaslighting?

[NotOneOfTheInCrowd]

Thats it.

Every time someone has an experience they don’t like they say they’re being gaslighted.

People need to and look up the meaning of the word, because by throwing it around so casually has led to the trivialisation of genuine abuse.

If they are not abusive they are controlling. Leave him, divorce him, all so easy.No wonder the divorce rate is so high. I don’t think anyone should continue to be really unhappy but as an old woman and married for 64 years I will say that over those years there were many ups and downs. All that matters now is how much we end up loving and needing each other.

Eh? How on earth do you expect to assert that a trigger is the original event as a pedant? It's simply not true.

From the Oxford dictionary;

triggered
adjective informal
uk /ˈtrɪɡ.əd/ us /ˈtrɪɡ.ɚd/

experiencing a strong emotional reaction of fear, shock, anger, or worry, especially because you are made to remember something bad that has happened in the past:

With my PTSD I'm very easily triggered.

The original traumatising event is not a trigger. It is a traumatic event.

Totally agree. People are using it for differences of opinion FFS. I don't mind it when it's used correctly.

Thank you for that. I've had PTSD. It's horrendous and shouldn't be trivialized.

I am over 60. Went my whole life never hearing the word gaslighting in a conversation. . Until recently when ,on at least 3 occasions, people have used it chatting about a situation. In all events l didn't see it as gaslighting but didn't argue the point. It has become the word of the moment completely causing its real meaning to be undermined. So annoying!

A fear of dogs after a scary encounter with a dog, if it does meet criteria for a diagnosis, would probably qualify as a specific phobia rather than PTSD. Fear/avoidance can be part of PTSD but you need a number of other symptoms as well. And unless the encounter with the dog was pretty well life-threatening it's not going to be a qualifying trauma for PTSD. (The treatments will be different so correct diagnosis does matter).

Red flag

See, I am cross on your behalf that you’ve even had to put ‘the real definition of the word’ in brackets after trauma. You shouldn’t need to do that but because it’s been so cheapened and watered down, you feel like you have to.
I hope the therapy continues to work

You’re a more understanding person than I am

I get far more bothered by people underplaying other people's mental health challenges. I work with people with mental health issues and come across very few people who exaggerate the impact of past events. If anything people tend to minimise their experiences. This leads them to delay getting support.

The DSM is not the only source of info about mental health and the fact they don't include CPTSD is ridiculous in my view.

What is trauma? - Mind

I'm far more aligned with the Mind explanation of trauma. While rape and physical life threats are obvious and devastating traumas, severe bullying or emotionally abusive partners can also lead to complete breakdowns or even people taking their own life. So while a few Tiktok videos pathologising feelings that are well within normal parameters is irritating, I would prefer that to people severely struggling because they don't believe their mental anguish meets the threshold.

I find your post very interesting. I didn’t realise there were different definitions of the word.
I would agree, in your line of work especially - people actively seeking help for mental health issues should have their trauma taken seriously.

For me, it’s more people that describe a brief run in with their neighbour as traumatic in casual conversation, for example.

Psychiatrists in the UK don't tend to use the DSM, and the ICD-11 does have CPTSD, which has been a very helpful development.

Funny how I’ve just found the DVD on Amazon for £10.98, then.

No you didn’t

Yes but people are quoting the DSM on here as the gold standard definition of trauma. Hence my post.

I know what you mean and it is irritating but people exaggerate all the time - dying of thirst, stubbing my toe was agony etc.

What I object to is people almost gatekeeping trauma. But believe me a child from a family with unsupportive parents in a school where they turn a blind eye to bullying can be affected years later, have flashbacks, dissociate and suffer from genuine depression/anxiety.

Whoosh…

I was the person that quoted that so I do appreciate your non-condescending post explaining to me the differences. Said not sarcastically!
Every day is a school day. We do the best we can until we know better. Then we do better

Yes that’s true.

I guess from my own POV, I got over some pretty turbulent times in my life by down playing it to myself. And for me, it did help. But obviously that’s absolutely not the case for everyone.
Everyone told me on here my marriage was abusive. I believed it for a long time and as soon as I started telling myself we just weren’t compatible, it took the hurt away if that makes sense. Although there was definite gaslighting, manipulation and physical intimidation going on. I think I had to get over it by telling myself he didn’t mean to hurt me. Especially as we co-parent still.

Agreed - been thinking this for ages

?

What's the problem? The DVD is clearly available to buy.

That poster was being funny - gaslighting us that the film doesn’t exist 😂

And I was trying to do the same. I’m very not funny though

Ah I see. Point missed! 😂