Inappropriate movies at sleepovers

[Curiousitykillsthecat]

I can't decide if I'm being ridiculous or not. DS12 has been invited to a Halloween sleepover. I was delighted as doesn't get many invites. But the other kids are planning the movies they will watch and they are all 18+ including things like the SAW movies, etc. Hosting mum is pretty relaxed about it. But I don't think it's appropriate. My DS doesn't want to watch really scary films but does want to go to the party. I'm sad to say he can't go but I also don't feel it's right to be watching those movies at 12. Aibu to say DS can't go?

If the parents lax enough to allow that then what else could go on there

No from me too

We’re reasonably strict on film ratings with our kids - my eldest is nearly 15 and has been allowed to watch 15s without asking since her 14th birthday - we saw the odd one together that we’d pre approved when she was 13.

She didn’t watch 12s until she was pretty much 12 and she has an 8 year old sister and would never put on anything above a PG with her around so I don’t agree with the “nothing you can do if they’ve older siblings” thought

I wouldn’t let my eldest watch an 18 and she has no desire to. She’s been to sleepovers where they’ve watched scary films and she’s refused to watch and put in her earbuds and watches her phone if they’ve insisted.

Theres a reason for age ratings.

It would be a no from me, but I would speak to the mum and find out if the boys were just boasting, she might not be as cool with it as they think.

When I was about 13 or 14 they showed us "An American Werewolf in London" (18) AT SCHOOL because our drama teacher wanted us to look at the special effects and make-up. Not only does it have nudity/sex but also very graphic horror with decomposing corpses etc. I remembered it for a long time.

These days the drama teacher would probably get sacked for showing 18 films to 13/14 year olds in class, but it was the 1980s and I don't think anyone said anything!

I would talk to the parents. I think it doesn’t have to be a 12, perhaps it’s more you and he would rather he not watch slasher horror? There are some horror for 18+ that are more psychological with less violence- only zombies or aliens or monsters get killed.

Like World War Z, or Defend the Block or Cockneys vs Zombies, Pitch Black

That rating was I'm 1981! Most common sense rating is now 15+

Same here. I love horror films but no way would I knowingly allow my DC to watch them underage. No way.

What are people like?! I am genuinely flabbergasted that any parent of a child whose brain is changing and easily worked on could nonchalantly wave away it being exposed to such strong violence.

Echoing PP, it would be logged as a safeguarding issue, and probably a call to the parent. It would be there as part of the bigger picture should a child go on to do something of concern.

Article in the Lancet: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10025407/

From Safeguarding Hub; no conclusions but the fact the questions have been asked is enough of a concern for me:
'Routinely professionals in mental health services, education and safeguarding raise questions about how sexual and violent imagery impacts on a child’s mental health. Over the years, academic study dating back to the 1970’s has raised some of the key questions around children’s exposure to potential harmful content:

• do children become desensitised to violence and the harm and suffering of others?
• does their anxiety and fear of the real-world increase?
• do children show higher levels of aggression?
• are they more likely to act in a more harmful way to others?
• will exposure to sexual content lead to children becoming sexually active sooner?

These are debates that are as old as television itself. One thing we can be certain of, legislation alone will not protect children from harmful content. Protecting children from potentially damaging material can only be achieved through a combination of parental control, educating children about harmful content and helping them to become digitally resilient.'

I remember going to a tea party when I was 10 and one of our friends had to stay in the kitchen with the mum because she wasn't allowed to watch Grange Hill 😳

hhmmm he’s probably blown it for himself saying he dosnt want to watch an 18, he’d have been better saying great, but don’t let my parents know, then blame you when he’s stopped from going. I’d happily take the fall for my DCs to save face.

My 12yo dd would absolutely hate a scary movie but my 10yo dd would love one, in fact she has pushed the age related lines in her tv and movie viewing choices, but she has what I refer to as my gore gene, scary and gory movies don’t phase her at all, she knows they aren’t real. There are several movies she’s dying to watch but I’ve said no due to overly graphic or sex scenes. I’m fairly relaxed on age rating but I have to rewatch something first so I can remind myself if I’m ok with dd watching it. I know her limits which are very different to her older sister who is very happy watching Christmas rom coms and barbie movies with my 7yo.

Although I’m saying this, this is my child, I wouldn’t let another child watch something without their parents ok, my dd knows this and also knows not everyone is ok with what she likes to watch.

Do you know the exact movie? If it was a case of DS wanting to fit in, you said he dosnt get invited to many things, could you see what movie it was and maybe to a screening with him first. There are different levels of scary movies.

id be very reluctant to be that parent who insists or “suggests” a different movie to the parents if they are ok with what they have already agreed to their DS as that’s just making your DS a target. It would be far easier to say he’s fine watching it then back out last min for him to save face. High school is rough as it is without him being referred to as a baby.

And 'babyish' FFS...

Hope they don't end up sleeping with their parents, or terrified of the dark because of it. Then who'll be the baby?

Your DS must shrug that insult off and stick to his opinion. Knowing your own mind is so far from being babyish that I'll bet it will garner some respect if he does, especially if they actually go ahead and some of them end up regretting it.

Me too, but I forced myself to rewatch it recently and it was amusing how scared I use to be of it.

Not that I will ever say those two words in a mirror ever 😂

The one that stuck with me ( from when I was 13) was Cannibal Apocalypse. When she kissed him then bit his tongue off I hid under my blanket!
Do not recommend

same op that filme fuked me up for a long time

i woulnt let him go or arrange to pik him up

Are you utterly mad?
Watching certain horror films when aged around 17 left me disturbed for many years. Many of the scenes in these films are inherently psychologically disturbing. The same cannot be said for a glass of wine, a couple of shots of whiskey, or an illicit puff on a fag!

No from me! My daughter is 14 and allowed to watch scary 15+ movies. I've told her we'll have a discussion about scary 18+ movies when she's 15 - she won't have my blessing to watch any of the Saw type gorefests though!

Just had a flashback to the sleepover when I had to watch Candyman. It was at my friend’s dad house and he was a farmer so lived in this huge ancient farmhouse miles from anywhere. He also had various old furniture and antiques all over the house that he had collected.

It had a massive living room with a fireplace where we watched the film. Then we all went up to sleep in a room that had a huge brass bed in it. The room also for some reason was filled with old mirrors. Like, about fifteen or so mirrors all propped up around the walls. My friends all thought it would be funny to repeat the title of the film and I didn’t sleep a wink all night.

For me sleepovers are 🚩 already and a Halloween one is 🚩🚩🚩.

So it’s a hard no from me.

I still remember the horror movies I watched at a sleepover age about 13.

Jesus they scared the hell out of me and stayed with me for a long time. And they were fairly tame with hindsight.

Speak to the parents - as a pp said this may be boys exaggerating and the parents have no intention of allowing this kind of thing. And there may be a few of the other boys who’d secretly really rather not too but aren’t brave enough to say so.

I knew someone who wasn't allowed to watch Biker Grove for similar reasons.

Early to mid 90s I was a similar age and remember watching IT and Pet cemetery as my friend's slightly older brother had it playing with his friends and the parents were out. I hated/hate Horror genre as I find it mostly ridiculous and therefore boring- I wasn't personally traumatised. Unfortunately, it was pretty typical where I came from but it wasn't with agreement from Parents, they just weren't around. On another occasion we watched Boyz In The Hood.

It's not just a question of being scared or not, those films are totally inappropriate for 12 year-olds.

They're not even 15s they're 18s!

That would have been an absolute No from me

At 17?? I get that they are disturbing but don't you find them ridiculously so? They are so unrealistic that it reminds you it is all make up and fiction!

Why aren't you considerate of other children?

Would it kill your kids to watch something age appropriate for once?

(and not watching things that are inappropriate or not suitable isn't 'censorship')

No I am a perfectly sane person. Did you mean to be rude and disrespectful to those with MH issues.

Amazingly I like many enjoy books and films in the horror genre.

We didn't poison our bodies with alcohol nor smoke or drugs. You really want to throw stones from that glass house ? Muppet.

God I watched so many horrors at that age (oldest brothers doing!).

The one that got me was IT (the original Tim Curry one..."oh yes, they all float down here"). Been wary of clowns ever since. Also Clownhouse, Pet Semetary, and of course The Exorcist.

Pennywise was terrifying, as was the old man (Kane) from Poltergeist II. Seeing him slowly walk up the driveway, then at the door saying "let me in".

If your son doesn't want to see these things he's making the right choice. Help him get out of this graciously, if the friendship matters, e.g sorry guys I can't make it we are already doing xxx for aunties celebrations". I get it might be an invite with mates he's not been so social with before and that's good but do not expose him to the likes of SAW etc just to be cool. I worked in a field where age limits were relevant. They are important and to be looked at. For example a mature 10 year old may cope with cartoon sci-fi type action and happily watch 12+ films as mine does. But 15,+ and above is a big no no for his age group, for an absolute raft of reasons.

For the pp who have no age restriction boundaries except very "very" sexual content. You are absurd. Watch age and maturity appropriate content on your TV, tablets and SM for your family and their visiting friends.