I will try not to drip feed and maybe she didn’t mean it the way it came across but I will try not to drip feed but can not give the whole background as it would be a novel and completely outing so will change some details,
DC was 7 when their dad died. We had been separated at this point for 7 years . I raised DC from 2 weeks old on my own. They knew their dad and he did have moments where DC existed I would say on average they saw him twice a year other than this there was a lot of drug history / rehab / cancellations of visits for holidays. DC loved them though and I did protect them from any sort of knowledge of what’s was happening.
at the time of his death there had been no contact for 6 months but I had heard he was in a bad way / with the wrong people again and was arrested for drug related offences. We had a few mutual friends.
the day I had to tell DC had died was the hardest thing I had to do. Instantly heartbroken and there was a lot of feelings to navigate as he wasn’t a solid fixture in their life they really struggled with processing that they were never going to get the chance to have the relationship with their dad they so desperately wanted. He died during a drug induced psychotic break down and refusing treatment for a septic track mark.
at the time I tried my best to navigate but it has been 7 years of hurt and pain / harassment / picking up the pieces when he was meant to come but didn’t.
I was heart broken for DC but it didn’t really impact my life apart from I was never going to get harassed again ( I know this sounds awful ) but I was very upset for DC. When it came to the social media posts my dc became ( not on the scale of world wide ) but locally the attention of everyone’s Facebook posts “ devoted dad to Ellie “ ( not real name )
which I won’t deny made me boil and then anger set in I then got angry that after all these years I was still going to be the one to pick up the pieces. Then it went back to sadness then guilt then anger again like it was a total rollercoaster of feelings. I never discussed my feelings with anyone because my DC feelings were all that mattered.
my DC did not want to attend the funeral, and I didn’t force it which did cause some backlash with his family ( who saw them even less than he did ) I was send the eulogy before hand as it came with the invite and was posted on some website. They had not even got our DC name right !
so I didn’t force it and I didn’t speak publicly about what had happened or sent any condolences to be honest.
I took DC out to a place that was a reminder of him and we had an our own day and got them in to therapy. Every year I make sure we have a day when it’s the anniversary. My only focus was DC.
our mutual friend who I have remained friends with since ( a good few years ago now ) commented on the lack of dedicated words to Liam in Cheryl’s statement and how it was very cut and dry and about bear and that there should have been some love towards him- she then made a sharp comment of “ guess another one who will portray them as a bad father / partner instead of one who was mentally ill “ - no one knew what it was like dealing with it for 7 long years of destruction. I had all the sympathy in the world for his parents / friends etc but I couldn’t pretend that he was this legendary devoted father who didn’t make my life hell and pretend he was all of a sudden a hero.
disclaimer I’m not saying that Liam was a bad dad etc I have no idea what his and Cheryl’s relationship was but from the history I’m sure she has dealt with the worth of this situation and bear for a while but again no idea so it’s not a debate about that but would you have taken this as a complete dig at me and not publicly sharing love and support for DC father ?