Found escort website on husbands history

[Piney15]

Found a escort website on my husbands search history with local areas entered! .. completely taken back .. we have been together almost 13 years, 2 children and 1 on the way... and happy!! Litrally happy as can be. ive checked bank, photos, social accounts etc. And I can't find anything further than this other than 1 porn search after the search for the escort website vivastreets!! Ergh just need some support advice on this

He minimising. You’ll never know 100% but if he’s so happy to admit to looking and didn’t even try the whole, ‘it just popped up’ or ‘I was looking because a friend said something’ bollocks then I bet he has more to hide. For me I couldn’t live with the thought that every time he goes out he could be shagging some trafficked and abused women/girl.

Oh OP. This thread makes me so sad :(
It doesn't suprise me at all that he's some how trying to point the finger at you, as if it's because you've been rejecting him.
So basically because you rejected him he went and rang a brothel instead of talking to you?!
Typical gas lighting.
Please always know that you're not responsible for his behaviour, he is.

Only you know you're limits and boundaries, but as a mother who was "dumped" via text message at 5 months pregnant with another toddler at home by her husband, I can absolutely garuntee you that you can do this on your own. And you will be a hell of a lot happier not questioning yourself and your worth and his actions.
I had nothing, no money or house. I lived with my parents for a bit. But when I look back at photos/memories I realise my life is worth so much more now than then!

I'm not saying you should leave him. But I think you need to think of your long term happiness. You'll never be able to erase what has happened. Can you live with it?

Sending you lots of love. Truley disgusting behaviour 😢

It’s definitely bad that he’s been searching for escorts in your area.

However websites like that are very spammy. They will show pages for absolutely any address in the country, even when in reality escorts will be in towns and cities. Even if you search for the most obscure and isolated place in the middle of nowhere, these sites will still bring up a page saying that they have escorts there. When obviously they don’t,

If he’s going into towns and cities, and his time isn’t accounted for, then it’s more likely that he’s actually gone through with it.

@Piney15 are you ok op? Sending massive hugs and hope you are hanging in there. X

I'm really not OK.. I just don't know what to do I cant think clearly in my head on what to do next I really thought we was in love and had the perfect life

What he's doing is 'admitting' to something less bad (just looking) in the hope that he'll look honest but also stop you prying any further. Gaslighted you into it being your fault he even looked, which is AWFUL.

What an absolute shit of a sleeze he is, looking at those sites.

The trust is gone, he's clearly not who you thought he was.

You deserve so much better.

Have you got a sister or a friend you can talk to or ask for help? You will be in shock but it would be sensible to see a solicitor, find out where you stand. It would help to have a friend by your side or available to help you do the things you need to, before you make any decisions.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

How far along are you? Other posters probably won't support me on this, but as a married woman with a toddler and a baby on the way, I'd probably get an STI check asap and then make him think I'd left it.

I'd open a secret bank account and put everything I can in there over the next 12 months while I planned my exit from the marriage. I'd keep looking but stop confronting him. I'd essentially stay until I was in a position to leave without disrupting the kids too much.

At the very least I would ask him to leave and make it clear that if he can't do this then it's obviously just words about wanting to fix it.

Use the time alone to heal and then make a decision.

I'm.surprosed he didn't just say it was want material and actually admitted to calling them.

If his reaction was simply "sorry but you aren't putting out enough" (which is exactly what he is sugar coating) then your thoughts need to be why not. Not because you are in any way to blame but more like: is he actually even doing a fair share or is he expecting you to mother him too and still be thrilled to jump his bones.

As a minimum, an absolute minimum, id expect him to move out whilst you have counselling and decide what you want. Not necessarily with a view to staying together. His willingness to experience any discomfort such as moving out will likely show you if his "sorry" and commitment to change means anything or whether it's empty words with an expectation of being in the dog house for a few weeks before you go back to making his meals and "trying harder" to have sex.

How you doing OP?

Just read through this thread and can’t help wonder how OP is now and what happened with this situation? x