Found escort website on husbands history

[Piney15]

Found a escort website on my husbands search history with local areas entered! .. completely taken back .. we have been together almost 13 years, 2 children and 1 on the way... and happy!! Litrally happy as can be. ive checked bank, photos, social accounts etc. And I can't find anything further than this other than 1 porn search after the search for the escort website vivastreets!! Ergh just need some support advice on this

Well I have my answer

He has just text me off his own back

'I see what you mean about the pages I searched i would feel the same I haven't got an excuse I went thru a moment like a idiot that's as far as it went I swear I know you won't believe me it was just a stupid thought in my head I'm so sorry'

So he has form for this and it's nothing new.
I assumed from your OP that it was a bolt out of the blue.
Do you want to live your life like this? Constantly checking up on a cheater?
Start getting your ducks in a row.
If he is paid cash he probably isn't declaring his full income. People who are not truthful and cheat on their partners are also not trustworthy people in other areas of their lives.

Wow I haven't even brought it up or replied and then this gets sent

I know searching is just as bad and I can't exaggerate how sorry and how shit I feel that you had to find that, I want you to trust me I love you I couldn't be happier in out relationship you are the only love of my life, part of our relationship isn't great but I know that's not an excuse to look for attention that way

I feel like an absolute mug and I feel I've lost your trust but you've got to belive me the moment I called i hung up and thought what a cunt

He is a cheating liar

The 'not getting further' - could be them calling at that point. He's not just responding for the fun of it.

I also agree with your point about a direct website search.

I think I'd just ask him, but I've read on here that's not the way to go, so I'll leave the others to advise.

He's an absolute liar

Am I reading this right, you haven't messaged him about this, but he's messaged you saying he's aware of what you saw in his history?

Yes sorry I forgot to mention I purposely left it open on his browser but he had gone off to work early this morning

Ah ok I understand now. I thought he'd found your Mumsnet account or something.

Good idea.

Don't believe a word he says OP.

Don't believe him. There is no way he called then hung up out of shame. Please ignore other posters and get an STI check it is vital for the health of your baby. Some stis can even result in the loss of pregnancy or blindness of the baby if left untreated. Yes it is upsetting that you are in this position but make no rash decisions put yourself and your children first. Give yourself plenty of TLC speak to other people who are supportive of you make them aware. This is his shame not yours ultimately that would break the trust for me especially if he has form. Look after yourself. You can get a sti test online delivered through your post box and send it back all very discreet. Sorry you fell in love with a pig it happens to all of us I fear.

I just want to say that independent full service sexworkers, are some of the healthiest people sexually, because regardless of them using condoms, it's their job to be safe and it's self care. This isn't to say it doesn't happen, but it's not like people think it is.

The exception to this is usually with incredibly vulnerable women and girls at the mercy of pimps because they've been trafficked, and that's another subject which is extremely upsetting/depressing.

Good luck OP.

Despite his pleas for you to trust his silly mistake (!), how can you ever do that again now you know he’s made multiple recent searches for local prostitutes and called at least one of them. That quite clearly doesn’t make him remotely honest or loyal and it’s baffling that he thinks his words / apologies after the events will somehow counter his actions. There should never have been a single incident of him searching, let alone multiple occasions. I wouldn’t believe that he hung up because the moral test for him would be to think of sleeping with a prostitute behind your back and then immediately rule that out as something he’d never do. Instead, he not only researched but called. So, he’s taking it further than a second of mere thought. It shows you how he views sex and women, as well as his fidelity to you. I wouldn’t trust him and would never feel ok sleeping with him again.

He’s an untrustworthy liar.

STD tests and trip to the solicitor. So sorry. What’s your housing situation?

That's right. The men are all totally innocent and Mumsnet is to blame.

So he has come clean about alot. Still assures me it ended with him calling and basically bottling out of it going any further... reason for it all selfishly he admits he was getting turned away by me alot... I feel like this man I've known for 14 years I don't know anymore.. completely reliant on him for money, car house etc. As mentioned 2 kids and currently pregnant with our 3rd.. what do I do???? He has offered to get help but I don't see that benefitting me

Someone posted about a website called UK Punting on one of these threads once, it's like a forum for men using escorts discussing things and reviewing the women. Take a look at that (if you can stomach it) and it'll probably give you some insight to how these men hide it from their partners.

If he has been using them (which is probable IMO) he'll have a secret phone stashed away somewhere that you don't go/clean/tidy etc. Can he show you the call records of when he phoned? If not, it's probably because he has a second phone.

Let's say he hasn't actually acted upon the searches.

The fact he was looking online for some kind of titillation rather than getting it on with his wife is telling.

He is dissatisfied with the physical side of your relationship and has considered straying.

I know it won’t feel like it right now, that any good can come from this. But this is a tower moment, this is the true man you’re meeting.

Find a way out. Keep evidence to use against him. You’ll try to talk but this type of male has no feeling, women are meat to him.

Make sure he pays for your time and for your children. Find more evidence before telling him. Even better, don’t say a word until you get everything you need together.

He is going to wrap everything up now you have spoken to him. He’ll leave traces around in the future though, they can’t help it.

Don’t believe any of his bs about changing. This isn’t even porn, this is full out local escorts, he has moved beyond just being shitty to putting you and your baby at risk of serious illness. Get a check for stds and learn everything you can about npd. See if he fits. He obviously has no empathy at all.

He's lying. 100% lies.

Good idea about being able to show you his phone record.

In front of him ask him to log into his phone providers account and show you his itemised billing.

I haven't looked at a phone log for years but guess they still exist. If he called off before they answered it probably won't show on the log- but hopefully there won't be an answered call to an unknown number around the time of the Google search.

Even if he chickened out, he still rang a brothel intending to pay a woman for sex.