Would this put you off someone?

[Fe13]

I used to see someone around 5/6 years ago. At the time, I ended up feeling like it wasn’t right for me, even though we did get on and have fun but I let him know this and he turned a bit sour.

We are both now single parents. He has a set of twin babies who are 8 months old who he has for half the week and I have a 3 year old. He got back in touch a few weeks ago saying it would be good to have a catch up. We have been getting on well after messages. I thought maybe he might have matured a bit aswell since we last saw each other.

However, I’ve just read a message he sent me last night offering to take me out for something to eat and was asking where I like to go. Straight after though he said ‘or I could just come over to yours, I’ll order us a takeaway and we can watch a movie.’ I just can’t believe he’s asking to come over to my house after I haven’t seen him for nearly 6 years. I would have been happy to maybe go for the date. His text also said ‘I don’t mind either way, just would be good to see you again’ ended with a winky face.

I haven’t dated for a long time tbh since me and my Dds split up. Is this a red flag?

Missing the point but who on earth thought it would be good and healthy for babies to have a 50/50 arrangement at that age??

This would make me run for the hills personally. The lack of anticipated effort could be as a forethought to easy; easier for childcare, easier for the purse, easier for the overall effort; but start as it means to go on and that lack of effort could bleed into everything about the relationship.

Twins at 8 month, the ex is going to have a huge input to his life especially concering anything to do with the children, the children are going to be a huge consideration in his life (as they should).

I mean unless you just want a quick shag, and nothing more, if that's the case - get it on but otherwise stay right away.

Winky face would put me off! Sounds like he wants a shag.

8 month old twins??

Forget your love life, mate, and focus on your kids (would be my advice to him).

I'd have no interest in a single dad of baby twins. Childcare and sex would be my first thoughts of what he's really looking for. You already tried this one without the baggage of babies. Maturing doesn't really come into it.

And poor babies, they should have a fixed residence while so young.

He has just messaged saying he’s got the babies today and he is saying how hard it is with two and how ‘people with one baby have it easy!’

Oh please OP, just block him and move on. With every post he sounds worse.

I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone - winky face or no winky face - that has 8 month twins and is single. Why is he not with the mother of his babies? Shows he's likely flaky, non committal, has bad judgement and is careless with contraception.

Too much hard work.

But then I'm old.

He's hoping for a shag and child care.

He sounds well dodgy

Well, suggesting coming to your place instead of going out hints at the possibility of romantic developments, especially with the wink, but he's made it easy for you to say you'd prefer to go out, which by the sound of it you would!

He's a father of eight month old twins. Has already split up with the mother.

And is actively trying to date.

That alone is enough to put you off, let alone the fact that it previously went wrong.

And actively trying to date an ex, so he can shortcut any effort and go straight over to hers. Brazen!

There you go.
He's looking for the nearest woman to shag and for childcare.
Run for the hills.
Next he will be suggesting he pop around to yours so you can see the babies.🙄

We are both now single parents. He has a set of twin babies who are 8 months old who he has for half the week and I have a 3 year old. He got back in touch a few weeks ago saying it would be good to have a catch up

Convenient timing isn't it?
He now has twin babies to care for half the week.
Suddenly he wants to catch up with you again, wink wink etc.
Please don't be naive, he's looking for a stepmum for his kids. In no time at all he'll be trying to move in with you and your child so you can look after all of them during the half of the week he has them.

That would put me off much more than the coming round to yours with a takeaway.

Don't even go there. It didn't work when there were no children involved so it sure as hell isn't going to work now.

People are so judgemental on this thread! Immediately he must just want a shag and childcare, why? Can't someone just be kind and considerate that he's offered a couple of solutions just in case going out wasn't the right one?

He is just after a shag

If you can't judge a guy whose single with 8mo twins and sniffing around, who can you judge?? And no, that wouldn't apply if he was widowed although no doubt a widower would be even less likely to be sniffing around an ex so soon.

If you think he sounds kind and considerate and only looking out of the OP's best interests, your judgement may need recalibrating.

This. Also, never go backwards. He’s an ex for a reason. Your OP states he turned a bit sour when you broke up. Why put yourself through that again?

And no one on here knows the reason why he is single with 8 month old twins. So if this was a Mum who was single with 8 month old twins and said to a guy or I could just come to yours and watch a movie if you prefer, your opinion would be the same? Oh actually don't bother answering, just remembered how much MNers hate men.

😂

I think it's moving a bit quickly. I'd be slightly suspicious of his motives. Suddenly now that he's a single dad to tiny twin babies, he wants a new potential girlfriend? Hmm...