Fed up of women having to do it all

[indecisivewoman81]

Need a rant.

I'm so fed up of having to not only work full time but do all the school drop offs and pick ups, make all the meals in the house, do all the washing, take the kids to clubs, do the food shop and my DH just looks after himself.

He gets up, showers and goes to work...

If I die I want to come back as a privileged man!

I am exhausted from trying to do everything. I literally feel like I run from one chore to the next whilst trying to hold down a full time job in management.

Just lost my shit and we've had a massive row.

Apparently he works hard!

I said to him if I died what would you do? He said "well I'd have to do it"

And there ladies and gentlemen is it in a nutshell.

He doesn't feel he has to.

Fuck me I'm raging!!

original response too snarky so removing it…

but yes, your husband sounds like a shit.

You don't have to do it all.

What is he adding to your life? You're basically living life as a single mother, only with him additionally adding to the burden, and with this dynamic being presented to your kids as normal.

This is why I am happier as a single parent.

Sorry but this is just your DH. I sympathise as my exH was the same. I left him and found a better man. They do exist.

When i left exH, I swore I would only settle for a man who improves and adds positive things to my life, not one who drags me down and thinks my vagina better qualifies me to do EVERYTHING.

And yet, you're giving him a free pass by bringing 'women' into it.

Women don't have to do it all.

It's all about boundaries. I refused to do it all in my first marriage so I divorced.

I re-married 3.5 years later and I absolutely don't do it all. I've been in my second marriage for over 23 years and we absolutely work as a team.

He’s a misogynist and he thinks you are a household appliance

I’m sorry @indecisivewoman81 , he’s not a keeper

Women don’t have to do it all.

They DO have to pick a decent partner and not settle for somebody who isn’t going to pull their weight.

I don't know if you're in some sort of sunk fallacy thinking or you can't see the wood for the trees. But it's isn't all women. It's you he's doing this to and you can be free of it.

You don't have to do it all ?

Why don't you ask him to do a few pick ups?

In our household, I'm the mum of our two children (3 & 6) I work 72 hours a week and my partner (my children's father) is the SAHP. He does all school drop offs, all cooking & all cleaning. On my days off, we share cleaning, cooking and childcare/school drop offs, sometimes he does it all and tells me to sit down with a glass of wine and runs me a bath, doesn't want me to do anything (yes I'm serious).

Even when we both worked, he helped cook, clean, took care of our only child at the time, stayed up late after a night shift to let me sleep when we had a newborn...etc

Sounds like you'd be less stressed without him.

Don't tell us...tell him

Ask him why does he expect a full time working woman to also be a 1950s housewife? That privilege should be for men who are willing to take on full financial responsibility of their wife and family.

Being a single parent isn’t the magic answer I do it all still as a single parent but with less income 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tbh, I agree with your original post.

I never had to do it all when i was married and i dont have to do it all now. In fact, I've never had to do it all. And, most of the time, I've not even done the most 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh and look after yourself and the DC. Don't do his washing and don't make him food.

Women don't have to do it all.

Men like your husband just like to perpetuate that myth. What would happen if you stopped? Be a squeaky wheel and make life more unpleasant for him that not doing the task. The day women stop being afraid of being called a nag will be a good day for feminism.

Stop facilitating him.

You set the rules and expectations in your own relationship.

The only reason you are doing it all is because you have allowed him to get away with not pulling his weight.

Watching my husband make dinner, after a day’s work, and he did all the washing today.

yeah shit husband.

To everyone else it's clear ; there's a pair of you in it. you don't have to do it all. Why don't you just say no to him.

But I find with women like this , it's hard to get through to them. They seem to have forgotten how to stand up for themselves.

You're making this situation hard for yourself OP.
Stand up to him!

sorry OP but I agree with the others. It’s a your H thing. Stop doing anything for him for a start and start having better boundaries. I’ve dated some right shitbags but from the off I refused to be housemaid, it’s just not in my nature

Your kids will think this misogyny is normal, something to aspire to. That women are for serving shit men.
If you choose to live a happier life and divorce this utterly pointless man he will have to parent his kids and pay towards them. Win/win.

Sorry OP but just echoing other posts. I don't do it all either. I work 30 hrs a week and my partner works significantly more than that and some weekends too. He works long hours. We have a toddler and we split the drop offs and pick ups, he does most of the food shopping (purely because I cannot stand it), I do most of the washing / cleaning, he does more cooking (he's better at it than I am), we split bath and bedtimes with our toddler depending on his shifts etc. He comes in straight from a long shift and cracks on with what needs doing. We're a team.

I absolutely wouldn't be with someone who expected me to do everything, fuck that, it's not 1950. I'd have no attraction to a man like that. 🤮

You don't have to do all this. I don't - we share the jobs equally. This evening DP picked our child up from childcare, I started dinner then put clothes away, DP finished dinner (tbh did most of it). He'll do bathtime while I sort the kitchen. He's doing bedtime tonight, I'm planning on eating a Magnum while watching Gardener's World.

Are you scared of telling him he needs to do his fair share? Because I can't imagine why else you would put up with this.

Sometimes you need to accept that you failed to choose the right man.

Omg people use these sorts of posts to just big themselves up and emphasise how much better life decisions they made than you 🙄 You are not alone in this!! Men get away with all sorts in a lot of relationships - I think maybe it starts when on mat leave cause the woman naturally takes on more responsibility and it sort of sticks after. My husband can be a bit like this but I luckily don’t have to work full time and I do often think to myself “thank fuck you earn a high salary” I wouldn’t put up with half his shit if he didn’t provide our lovely lifestyle 😂 !!!