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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the haste that some posters show to create a thread regarding the death of a celebrity is distasteful?

86 replies

Seventeenth17 · 17/10/2024 11:12

Some are in such a rush to be The One that announces the passing they can't even form a full sentence as the title.

It's a poor show.

OP posts:
SunsetSkylane · 17/10/2024 11:13

Yeah it's weird AF.

I've literally never seen on the news that someone's died and rushed to break the news to MN.

limapie · 17/10/2024 11:14

Yeah like those people that update Wikipedia immediately.

Hateam · 17/10/2024 11:14

Not if the comment is decent and respectful.

Happyinarcon · 17/10/2024 11:16

Some people like to talk about things to process them. I think it’s normal to want to talk about something that has surprised you or given you a shock. I don’t have a huge circle of friends so I find the chatter here quite comforting

TulipCat · 17/10/2024 11:18

It's in the public domain and being discussed on thousands of other social media threads so I don't think it makes much difference 🤷‍♂️

EffortlesslyInelegant · 17/10/2024 11:19

I don't care either way but I'm interested to know what sort of time span would be acceptable to you OP?

MrsSchrute · 17/10/2024 11:20

I agree, it's odd. And it then turns into a competition about who can be the saddest/most outraged.

It's like when people post a link to a news story about someone being sent to jail for murder)abuse etc. - people fall over themselves to froth, call for the persons death, condemn the justice system etc. It's so odd!

Scaevola · 17/10/2024 11:25

I think it's OK tto see something you find a shock on the news and then start a thread about it.

What I have no sympathy with is the level of self-centredness that means the person does not stop and think that they might not be the only or the first person to see that piece of news and there might already be a thread about it.

I don't mean a couple of threads that are started within a minute or two of each other (that'll be people typing at the same time). I mean when there's a longer gap and a thread already very active.

I remember when it were all green fields around here - and the ridiculously large number of threads about two deaths in particular (Peaches Geldof and Bob Holness)

coffeesaveslives · 17/10/2024 11:26

Once something is in the news, I'm really not sure why it matters that there's a thread on here about it 🤷‍♀️

SallyForf · 17/10/2024 11:27

MrsSchrute · 17/10/2024 11:20

I agree, it's odd. And it then turns into a competition about who can be the saddest/most outraged.

It's like when people post a link to a news story about someone being sent to jail for murder)abuse etc. - people fall over themselves to froth, call for the persons death, condemn the justice system etc. It's so odd!

We used to call it Competitive Sadding on here. Can't recall which sleb death prompted that phrase though.

soontobeamama · 17/10/2024 11:28

Absolutely - people were falling over themselves to start a post or comment last night, very distasteful.

I was criticised for calling one poster out for creating a thread in AIBU (which actually had voting switched on!), which was already at least the third post about the same thing, with people complaining that I should be more concerned about the fact that someone had died, not what was posted and where!

I can't stand people just trying to jump on the bandwagon - in this case, none of the people were grief stricken, but goulishly speculating about the circumstances, which was unnecessary,

Motnight · 17/10/2024 11:29

Hateam · 17/10/2024 11:14

Not if the comment is decent and respectful.

I agree with this. It's news. Which we are allowed to discuss.

SweetSakura · 17/10/2024 11:29

Yes it astonished me how rapidly people were rushing to create posts yesterday.

I understand wishing to talk about it but I don't understand the race to be the one who shares the news.

Same with the people who rush to share these things on Facebook. I think a little less of them and I can't even quite put my finger on why. It just seems a weird first instinct to want to be the one to break the news.

Funkyslippers · 17/10/2024 11:32

If a famous person has died, you can bet your bottom dollar that my brother will be the first to tell me, followed up soon after by a particular Facebook friend posting a link saying how tragic it is, no matter who the celebrity is. I find it a bit weird personally

CarpeVitam · 17/10/2024 11:37

@Seventeenth17

I couldn't agree more - it's SO distasteful!

Seventeenth17 · 17/10/2024 11:42

Absolutely there's a need for threads for posters to talk and console and share thoughts, and so on, this a an important forum for that.

Posters can take a lot of succour and comfort from the community at such time.

It's the breathless haste that I've seen over the years (yes to recalling Green fields) that I find galling.

And yes to a PP pointing out that AIBU isn't the place for this sentiment.

"Competitive Sadding" I seem to recall that phrase from yore.

OP posts:
baroqueandblue · 17/10/2024 11:49

@Funkyslippers I wonder if there's a widespread need to be seen to be honouring the dead at any (casual) opportunity? Maybe it's a kind of narcissism.

yeaitsmeagain · 17/10/2024 11:50

Yeah the typo in the title annoyed me too.

LadyWiddiothethird · 17/10/2024 11:51

Yes it’s weird,these posters are the ones who would sit knitting at the foot of the guillotine.

SweetSakura · 17/10/2024 11:56

LadyWiddiothethird · 17/10/2024 11:51

Yes it’s weird,these posters are the ones who would sit knitting at the foot of the guillotine.

Yes I was just thinking along those lines

Snorlaxo · 17/10/2024 11:56

The celebrities who try and use the death for personal publicity are also distasteful.

I like to hope that the people who play competitive grieving are doing it because they don’t have family and friends to discuss their memories of the celebrity with but sadly I think many like to be the one to break that kind of news.

StMarieforme · 17/10/2024 11:59

Not keen on the term 'sleb death' which seems utterly disrespectful to me.,

DoTheDinosaurStomp · 17/10/2024 12:02

limapie · 17/10/2024 11:14

Yeah like those people that update Wikipedia immediately.

This! When Alex Salmond died a few days ago, and the news was breaking on BBC News (they didn't even have much details yet) I went on to his Wikipedia page to check his age. Someone had already updated his date of death. I remember thinking jeez, I bet they raced to Wikipedia to be the first to update - why??

rosesaredeadvioletsaretoo · 17/10/2024 12:02

Of all the awful things about Mumsnet - posters bullying one another, kicking them when they're down, making them feel bad, and so on - this is probably the least bad thing. It's human nature to want to chat about shocking things and honestly this is a forum for chatting about things. YABU.

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 17/10/2024 12:04

I'm not sure if this is place for it, but I can't think of anywhere better, so in a somewhat realted moan:

I always hate it when the news say someone has "broken their silence" on something like this. I've just seen a headline "Liam Payne's 'devastated' family break silence" What do you mean break silence? It's litteraly not even been 12 hours and they don't owe anyone a comment.

I'm sure soon there will be reports that Harry Styles has "broken his slience" as his first reaction wasn't to jump straight on twitter when he found out!

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