Bringing your whole fucking family to A&E

[changedlife]

Waiting to be seen at A&E. sent here by GP because DH has had an adverse blood result that needs to be dealt with.

A&E packed as usual. To be expected. However one family is here with one woman. There are 5 grown adults with the patient who is in her 30s... I don't know her issue but laughing a joking with the family. Just to add to the joy their phones go off constantly whereupon they give a blow by blow run down of her current medical state (she's hurt her foot it seems - from the latest phone update. )

DH is disabled. There is nowhere to sit In A&E. Foot-family are settled in and have actually just had a KFC delivery. I swear it's like an evening out for them.

DH can't stand. So have sent him back to wait in the car - which as he has a blue badge - is quite close. I'll call him when his turn comes. As I can stand.. However .. AIBU to think you don't need FIVE adults accompanying you to A&E. ? Especially with some really poorly older people have had to resort to sitting on the floor ? (And no one has volunteered their seat for them. )

I’d ask the staff to ask family members to allow patients to stand. I wouldn’t tolerate being asked to stand if I was a patient or if I had one relative with me.

I spend a lot of time at work seeing medical patients (I’m a registrar in a medical specialty) in ED (what A&E is now called) and they won’t stay forever. When they’ve been waiting 43 hours for a ward bed the hangers on leave! I always try and get family a chair to sit on but it can be tricky to find them. I used to try and always bring everyone tea but it’s just too busy now sadly.

I meant allow patients to sit! Sorry typo

Ask the family, one will probably let you have their seat. Ppl are often nicer than they look.

Well judging by this thread it seems as though there are a statistically highly unlikely number of people who have “countless reasons” for behaving anti socially in AandE departments the length and breadth of the country. I think it more likely that there are just countless numbers of people who have no reason to be there apart from their ignorance and selfish entitled attitudes.

I was an inpatient once with a woman who behaved like this on the ward loud, on her phone, hundreds of noisy visitors at all hours, including a very small child who ran around in a stinking nappy , take away food. She complained loudly about the hospital food, so it was a moment of pure joy when she vomited up KFC gravy all down the front of her knock off chanel dressing gown. She also swore at the nurse who tried to get her surgical stockings on, then deliberately left all her jewellery on top of the locker - I think she was setting the groundwork for a big dramatic scene when she accused people of stealing stuff. I saw it and told the ward sister who (with raised eyebrows) collected it up and locked it in her office.

Yeah we see this all the time ! Some people must have very boring lives!

I agree with you OP. 5 people accompanying one person is ridiculous. Last time I went to A&E in the UK, they enforced that only 1 person could accompany a patient.
I would say looking at this from a different perspective - the bigger problem is that the NHS is completely broken and consequently A&E is a total s**tshow.
I'm from the UK but currently living in Switzerland where health insurance is mandatory but it is bloody fantastic. The longest wait I've had in A&E is 1h30 mins but more often than not door to door im there and back in an hour. There is plenty of seating and people are seen quickly so it really wouldn't matter if you turned up with your whole family. I have only once required an ambulance and they took 6 mins to arrive. If it's a minor emergency, it's very easy to get a same day appointment with your GP or pediatrician. I have both of their email addresses and can email them with any questions and sometimes we do that to determine if I even need an appointment. Appointments are on time. If I have a scan I'm given access to my scan there and then (a link to website where it is stored) which I can then take to any specialist. I have a mobile number for my haematologist and the same when for my consultant when I was pregnant.

Compare it to the UK and my relative was recently told it was a 2 week wait for a telephone appointment. The local hospital had an A&E department but closed it 2 years ago and now everyone is filtered to an under resourced, under staffed 'super hospital' 35 mins away that can't cope with the volume of people arriving at A&E. People don't know where to go and so you end up with too many people in A&E. I know too many who have dialled 999 because a relative is having a heart attack, stroke and told that if they can to find their own way to the hospital because the wait is up to 12 hours. It just isn't good enough.
I am completely empathetic towards OP and think the other patient was totally in the wrong but also think the wider problem is that A&E in the UK just isn't fit for purpose.
I do think in some circumstances you should be allowed more than one person waiting with a patient (but not 5!!) but I think that stems from my distrust and bad experience with UK health care and I think some people need others to advocate for them.

Not unreasonable at all! Not seen takeaways delivered bit did see a large family attending for 1 person. Thankfully it was not too busy but they were noisy and it's not what any sick person needs.
And who in their right mind would sit around and eat a meal at A&E? It's a germ hub!

I'd clear my throat and quite loudly shout to the whole room "excuse me, can someone whose not a patient please surrender a chair for DH who is" but then I'm a mouthy cunt.

Not quite the same but I was on a completely rammed train the other day as the earlier one had been cancelled. Ukrainian family, gran, mum and early teen daughter all settled in on seats with their KFC dinner. Elderly woman on crutches who couldn’t stand (she fell once and a woman was physically holding her up) and someone called out for someone more able to stand to give her a seat. Ukrainian Mum quickly said to Gran and her daughter “pretend you don’t speak English” and laughed. I don’t speak Ukrainian but I understand it, so I said to her loudly in Russian, and then in English “You are disgusting.” Fortunately a man gave up his seat for the elderly woman, and the Ukrainian family continued their journey in silence.

This - tell them to give a seat to your dh. Some people are impolite snd selfish. A member of that family should have stood up for your dh. It should be one accompanying support person per patient.

I used to work in A&E. We all knew we were in for a quiet shift when there was a big football match on. Ditto pouring rain.

Not unreasonable. I was in a&e once on my own, suffering with a severe form of gastritis. Obviously unwell and vomiting into a pulp bowl. There were whole families accompanying each person and not one person offered a seat, I had to sit on the floor clutching my bowl. People are so selfish.

Is it a cultural thing?

I lived in a country where it was very much a family affair for anything medical.

After one of my children was born I was up all night in my recovery room (maternity wards/bays weren’t a thing) with dozens of family in and out of my joint bathroom with the woman next door. Was the same in A&E, but as it was cultural it was just the norm, however there was measures put in place for it as well as security who would step in and shuffle people out when things got too hectic.

Also seen it in hospitals and A&E here but staff have always stepped in when it’s happened in my local a&e, which were regular ps in for a long time at one point.

I’ve been at antenatal clinics where I’ve had to stand ( heavily pregnant ) because all the seats were taken by non patients ( men on their phones and small children) . I understand that not everyone has childcare but the least they could do is have their kids sit on their lap / the floor / share a seat.

No. It’s a feral thing.

My dad was in A & E for over a day while he was waiting for a bed in ICU. There were a few of us there with him.

He died a day later I should add.

Sadly obesity is a major problem for the NHS - more suet is not the answer

Update:

I am just leaving for home. DH has been admitted to get his blood sorted . Doesn't have an actual ward bed yet but at least comfy and lying down ..

Kentucky -fried- foot- family Are still waiting... security guard back in his chair dozing softly. I don't know if he said something or not as we were called through soon after . Even lady on the floor was gone .. hopefully not.given up ..

The same people who do those cringy check in posts on FB. Really annoys me , if you’re able to update your social
nedia with your ED visit you probably don’t need to be fhere.

I was waiting in A&E last year and one of the nurses came out when it got really busy and announced that the chairs were for the waiting patients and if the well people could give up their chairs for the unwell. It did work too, a lot of seats suddenly became available for those who needed them.

Sort it out.

I’m sure it was clear to you that’s what it was.

Oh get real. It’s obvious if the whole gang is laughing and joking and merrily tucking into their food delivery that they aren’t there for a serious reason.

Very sorry to hear about your dad. He is the type of patient who totally should have family with him in ED. It’s not families like yours people are annoyed about. It’s those with minor injuries who bring their family/ pals just to keep them company as they know they have a long boring wait ahead of them.

@Hoardasauruskaren but what are those of us without a local hospital to do?

I've been told by multiple people to go to A&E because I've injured my ankle, I'm going in the morning and my mum is coming with me because otherwise I'll be there for hours alone.