Bringing your whole fucking family to A&E

[changedlife]

Waiting to be seen at A&E. sent here by GP because DH has had an adverse blood result that needs to be dealt with.

A&E packed as usual. To be expected. However one family is here with one woman. There are 5 grown adults with the patient who is in her 30s... I don't know her issue but laughing a joking with the family. Just to add to the joy their phones go off constantly whereupon they give a blow by blow run down of her current medical state (she's hurt her foot it seems - from the latest phone update. )

DH is disabled. There is nowhere to sit In A&E. Foot-family are settled in and have actually just had a KFC delivery. I swear it's like an evening out for them.

DH can't stand. So have sent him back to wait in the car - which as he has a blue badge - is quite close. I'll call him when his turn comes. As I can stand.. However .. AIBU to think you don't need FIVE adults accompanying you to A&E. ? Especially with some really poorly older people have had to resort to sitting on the floor ? (And no one has volunteered their seat for them. )

Sorry I laughed at 'foot family'

I hope your dh gets a seat and seen soon
I think there should be a limit on how many people join you in a&e. Surely the drs will only want one of them to accompany foot patient so the other 3 really are wasting chairs and could sit in their own car (like your poor dh). Or a bus stop, wherever, just not where patients need the chairs more

What does and doesn't count as a genuine emergency though?

My town doesn't have an MIU or Urgent Care. It's a&e three towns over or nothing

Ask staff to sort the seating. Hope your dh is seen soon

It's a big deal if you can't sit down and are acutely unwell / have reduced mobility / frail / at risk of fainting etc or did you miss that bit where op said her husband had to wait in the car?

I really wish staff would step in and say something in these types of situations.

I was at A&E a few weeks ago and bumped into a friend, we both sat together but we were ill and in pain so we weren’t up for much conversation and we were mostly reading to pass the time.

We both commented on how many people seemed to have an entourage with them and how much of the waiting room was taken up by non patients. The most infuriating was the people who had brought multiple children and were either letting them run round shrieking or in one case a woman had 2 of her kids lying across the chairs. Her husband kept saying he’d take them and sit in the car, he seemed to have a bit of awareness at least. He mentioned it would have been better if they could have stayed at their grandparents rather then them all coming to the hospital. He commented a few times that he hoped they wouldn’t pick up any bugs, his wife just kept saying it was fine, she obviously saw it as a family day out!

My friend had to ask for a woman to stop her toddler who kept running over and trying to open her handbag and pulling at her crutches, the woman shouted at her child to come and sit down then went back to staring at her phone whilst the toddler carried on running round with other ignored children.

The other thing that was driving me crazy was people watching things loudly on their phones with no headphones, there was a man opposite me who was flicking through videos and a teenage boy who kept playing the same video over and over, lots of people were looking over unhappily but the annoying pricks were oblivious.

There was no security guard and the receptionist kept disappearing until someone new came to check in so there was no one to ask to intervene, there were some obviously very unwell people and it was surprising to see the lack of sympathy and compassion shown towards them, I can’t understand the appeal of sitting in A&E unless you are actually waiting for treatment, based on the majority of that waiting room though it’s clearly a fun trip out for some families.

The NHS has to suet this out.

The hospitals have been turned into entertainment parks.

And yes, it’s up to the staff to sort it out but can’t be arsed.

I never really believed this until last year when I had a bad fall, I was waiting for hours and had to listen to a really annoying family who seemed to be on a group outing as the oldest boy/man (late teens/early 20s) had hurt his finger, but didn’t seem to be in any actual discomfort. It was extra grating as I was in absolute agony with my bone sticking out of my skin, holding my forearm together with the other arm and no pain relief! Hell is other people.

Nah agreed its selfish you only need one other person with you. Hate when people do this in the supermarket too and expect the public to mind their children... erm...no. Its why i started shopping at m&s.

YANBU! I had a series of issues last year and witnessed the same. The staff do nothing. Typical Countess of Chester Hospital 🥴

OP, I kid you not have also witnessed people eating takeaway fried chicken in A&E! Of course they were there with their entourage of 5. In the end security booted them out, but seriously.. what on earth were they thinking? The stench was bloody awful!

A and E was fucking awesome during lockdown. I had cause to go twice, (once for me, once accompanying a friend as she couldn’t drive) and it was near-deserted each time.

The waits were a bit shorter too. Only people who really needed to be there seemed to be there. As it should be.

I really sympathise with you - I once sat in a and e in a Friday night for five hours waiting to be seen after going in by blue light ambulance have a grand mal seizure- I was sat next to a guy who had had a heart attack (had been given an print out of the report where it showed the heart attack taking place and looked really grey and ill) and the whole place was like a zoo. When I was in with the dr a woman kept just walking in saying her dad didn’t like the cheese sandwich he’d been given - apparently he was an alcoholic who’s fallen, and he was sat in another room screaming saying he wanted ham. His daughter was complaining they couldn’t make a sandwich to order at 11pm on a Friday night. Never mind the fact she just kept bursting into the room - it boiled my piddle to the point I ended up snapping at daughter - those poor staff had the patience of saints.

I empathise, but Id be cautious of judging anyone in hospital. You no nothing about this family, their circumstances or why they need to have everyone there. It may be annoying, but if you don't know what it's all about, just leave them be and focus on yourself.

There are countless reasons why all might be there from some really sad reasons (I'm sure you can imagine), to some reasons which might see minor to many but could be a big deal for this family. Who knows.

It’s why I have switched to M&S too. Lidl is pure hell of nightmare families and screaming kids. M&S is heaven in comparison

I used to work in A&E, and as someone has already said, some people treat it as a family day out.

I now work on a ward and it’s just the same sometimes - 2 visitors per patient is for a reason - our bays are for four patients and if all four patients extended family piles in potentially its claustrophobic, confusing, noisy, unhygienic, there’s not enough chairs, drs and nurses can’t do their stuff, meals can’t be served, cleaners can’t get in etc etc.

And I always feel for the patients who don’t have visitors while all this is going on. Most visitors understand or are fine when asked if they could take turns and swap in in twos but you do get mouthy entitled people who are nasty about it and have no consideration of the impact of their behaviour on other often very ill patients.

Surely, there must be a proven link between low IQ and A&E occupancy?

He’s better now thanks, he had intravenous antibiotics and then a few courses of oral antibiotics, some sort of spray and a nasal drops. He also has to go back as they had some concerns about what was underneath in case it was mouth cancer but it’s now looking like it’s not that. We didn’t know it was serious until the gp sent him to a&e, all we knew was his throat was very sore and he felt very ill.

They make an announcement in our local A&E that chairs and wheelchairs are for patients waiting to be seen. It seems to shift most of the families shift for a day out.
They even brought round sandwiches for those who have been there for a few hours. They had a list and checked armbands.

For sure. Is it that they seek drama?

My dad had 3 adults & a toddler with him when he’d had his stroke. The family had been for a walk & got a phone call & wanted to get to the hospital asap without dropping people at various places on the way. Nobody really knew what was going on, just that something had been detected on a ct scan & he was getting referred to the hospital which had neurology/stroke doctors. He was understandably shitting himself with the unknown.

Definitely not unreasonable and they should be told to leave 🤬

I am a radiographer & rotate through A&E as part of my job. Does my head in when people do this! The example in the OP is beyond ridiculous though! Why on earth would you
need 5 adults to sit with you for a sprain/broken bone ? As for ordering kfc the worst story I have heard was a group who ordered ‘dial a drink’ to the waiting room! My hospital is in quite a rough part of the city!

I was in A&E last year and there was a familiy like that, except that woman and partner were there all afternoon, and then their 3 kids - all late teens/ early twenties - joined them for the evening. All having a lovely time! There were no chairs at that time so they just clogged up the corridor that medical staff were going in and out of.

At some point, it was so crowded that one of the reception staff started making regular announcements for anyone who was not a patient to get off their arses so the actual sick and injured people could sit (I paraphrase)

Yes, but did all 3 adults and the toddler REALLY need to be in AnE with him? Most hospitals have a cafe that at least 2 adults and the toddler could have gone to, to wait, and take turns to be with him?

Ask one of them to move so DH can sit. Don't send him to the car.