Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

I understand WHAT you are saying but at the same time think it’s ridiculous.

I have always been quite slim and had to work for it and watch what I eat. I have been pregnant 4 times and will be having a tummy tuck when this pregnancy is over. I don’t feel “cheated” that my best friend has had 4 pregnancies and is a size 8 with a washboard
stomach sound very little work for it. That’s like. We have different genes and bodies. I also try not to ever feel jealous of others. Why? All it does is make people bitter and dissatisfied.

a TT will cost me £10k minimum. But
i am so unhappy with the effect 4 babies have had on my stomach and nothing I do changes the extra skin and mountain of stretch marks. So I will take measures to regain confidence with how I look.

with the WL injections, not everyone has grown up with good nutritional knowledge, knows how to cook healthy balanced meals, understands their metabolism. Other people have underlying medical conditions that cause weight gain or at least make it very difficult to loose weight. Others will have to live in pain if they exercise or have very little time, maybe they are single parents or have children with disabilities and struggle to ever leave the house.

you can’t judge others when you have no clue what their life is really like. If someone wants to loose weight and can afford injections or
is prescribed them and it is safe, do you know what I say? Good for them and more power to them. I hope they succeed and become more comfortable in their own skin

Spend less time judging and being bitter and more time questioning why you have such a strict relationship with food. You already said you are jealous so deal with that. Your relationship with food is one else’s to deal with. And one piece of cake won’t kill you

@CoverMeInMarmalade thank you.

The only way I can help myself is to completely ban junk food. I am all or nothing and know if I was to ever eat a cake or sweet I would be back in a dangerous situation.

I've struggled with bulimia since I was 13. That's over 20 years.

Through therapy I know I have to eat breakfast, lunch and tea, and snacks between. Not allow myself to get hungry. It works, but it's miserable.

I hear you OP.

I live overseas in a country where WL jabs are unregulated: you can walk into any pharmacy and buy them OTC, no questions asked. As a result their usage is RIFE.

Soooooo many people I know and work with are using them. In my team of 10 people, 4 people are. Only 1 of them was actually obese. The others want to "drop a few kilos": one is doing it to lose 5 kilos specifically, 1 is doing it do lose a few kilos before her wedding, another who was a size 16 at most at 5 foot 10 is also on it.

They all eat like birds with close to zero appetite so the weight has dropped off.

My colleague who was obese was extolling its virtues and said to me how amazing it was that she had no food noise any more: "like a skinny girl" she jointly said. This boggled my mind a hit as I am that skinny girl, and let me tell you I am DEAFENED by good noise all the time, in particular sugar.

It takes me a Herculean effort not to succumb to it and when I do I feel dreadful and full of self loathing.

I watch everything I eat, workout 4 times a week and have done so since I was 15. To be able to turn that food noise off sounds like an absolute dream. I am also a Bridget Jones child of the nineties 😭😬😬

For weight loss or because of diabetes? Either way, it's not the case in the UK. And if it was, the OP could allow herself to gain a little weight to qualify for the injections too.

I remember reading an article years ago and I think it was about body currency. So thin/fit people get there often through lots and lots of hard work aged believe that being thin and strong is what makes them happy and secure. And then they would see fat petite popping up on social media and it offended them that these Peter hasn't put the work in but got the same results of happiness and security. They felt it demeaned what they had done and made it worth less.

But it doesn't. If you are truly happy then seeing others happy shouldn't affect you at all. I personally think it comes down to true self acceptance and self worth. I don't think fat Pete should be shamed but neither do I think they souls be celebrated just for being fat. Fat is unhealthy, even if not initially, it will eventually lead to poor health. That's not to say you can't celebrate fat persons achievements, that's a very different thing to celebrating them being fat.

I feel for you, you are clearly unhappy with your lot in life and have some form of disordered eating. I think it's taking though that you talk about your self flagellation without considering what leads Pele to go to the other end of the scale. Lack of self control, self loathing etc. you will have benefited from being slim and healthy though, while those who were obese were not there through choice or we would have chosen to be thin by controlling what we eat. Myself, I'm currently down 28lb on mj and am currently 15st5. I have never been able to maintain weight loss as I have adhd and bipolar. I was sexuly abused as a child so good behind my weight. We ask have our reasons and I don't judge anybody for it.

So you think slim people are in competition with fat people for their livelihoods.

The injections don’t let you eat what you want without excess fat storage?

Why do people comment when they don’t even know how they work?

My cousin is morbidly obese. She will claim she doesn't care, always order the cake and make jokes. But if you really got to know her you'd find out that she's been dieting since she was 13, spent thousands on different diets, clubs and supplements and it's only caused more weight gain.

I think this is the reality for many chronically overweight people.

I know a number of friends and family members to whom I have never spoken about my weight. Whose view of me around food is one of easy acceptance and joking about how tasty it is.

They do not know the anguish I have felt for years - because, for me, the only thing worse than having to go through life this fat is seeing their faces of pity/sympathy/even empathy if I spoke about how upset it makes me. (And having to hear them 'helpfully' suggest tips to lose weight.) I couldn't bear it.

@SunsetSkylane I'd put money on it being social media and UPFs

Wouldn't work for you then, or unlikely to. James Corden said it didn't work for him due to this. I guess it's possible it makes you feel so sick you can't face eating anything or turns any non hunger cravings off.

Just when I thought I had read it all on here. Fooking hell! 😂 'The OP could put some weight on to qualify for the injections..............?'

PLEASE tell me this is a joke post!

This thread is batshit!

You are one of the very few here having an unpleasant and combative knee-jerk reaction to the OP. Most of us can see that the OP is reflective and has insight and is trying to make sense of her complicated relationship with food and her body.

I find that those who ‘just say it as it is’ tend to be those who are least able to understand nuance or have emotional intelligence.

🙄

yup. Its kind of linked to crab bucket but not the same....and yes its toxic and yes its linked to the "if I had to suffer then you will too" mindset. I think its incredible positive though that the OP recognises this in herself and is willing to talk about it. I get what others have been saying that you still have to cut the calories, I think that the main point is that the injections seem to make this so much easier...they take away the need for lifelong struggle.

What would you say to those for whom the injection makes it achievable to do just that - eat less, eat healthier and exercise more?

Would you feel so jealous at feeling fairly sick for several days a week?

Or at having gastropareisis - stomach full and not emptying and food sat there, fermenting and making you feel thoroughly rotten?

Or at being constipated because when it says it slows down gut transit, BOY do they mean it.

Or having to take metaclopramid to prevent the above, but that makes you zonk out fast asleep mid conversation, or microsleep whilst you're trying to work.

Or of course the fact that the minute you stop taking it, you'll want food again and put the weight back on.

Oh and I've not really lost much in the way of fat, because I am taking it for diabetes mainly, and it has reduced the insulin I need to take, and reduced some of my lymphedema, but hasn't had a significant result on fat yet (and ive been on it months and months now, nearly a year).

Those symptoms will affect anyone, not just diabetics (though some will be worse for diabetics).

Your issues with guilt around food and not being able to let go and enjoy food sensibley are up to you to resolve. They wouldn't just go away if you were on Ozempic or Mounjaro, believe me (because I have them too despite being horribly fat!).

I really understand what you mean @Notmyfinesthours and tbh I do feel similarly. My family is obsessed with looks and weight. I remember once eating a massive slice of cake at a primary school MacMillan morning, the other women were ooo you’re so lucky, how can you do that and stay so slim? Because I hadn’t eaten ANYTHING since my massive bowl of porridge the previous day at about 11 am. I didn’t say that though, I probably should have done.
Lockdown undid me. I just thought fuck it and ate bread, chocolate and crisps. I’m still struggling to lose that weight as I’ve sort of lost the ability to be ok with being hungry.
I don’t think you are being mean at all, and honestly I have thought about taking it, as at 56 it’s bloody hard to shift a measly pound.

You are very brave and I wish you the very best xxx

I think your thought process is a bit weird OP tbh. Why compare yourself to someone else’s life? Live the life you want to.

I’m fat after hormone treatment and chemotherapy and if I were to dwell on it I’d feel a bit fed up. But I try not to, I’m still the same (try to be) decent human being I was beforehand and I’d rather be alive for my kids as I am today than thin (lifelong size 8-10) with cancer. In fact having cancer has probably changed my outlook for the better, makes you realise how fragile everything is and not to take anything for granted.

Weight loss jabs are available to you too if you needed them. I haven’t gone down that road yet as I’ve got a bit of a mental block about nausea after chemotherapy, but I won’t rule them out in the future if I can’t shift the weight.

I think that in between the normal mn sniping there has been some really vulnerable, honest and heartfelt posts on here. How much better we can all understand each other when we are able to talk like this - and to listen to each other.

It actually shows it was nothing to do with gluttony and is actually down to hormones but you do you.

I’m surprised only by what this drug tells us. It shows us by just how much many people were actually over eating. Gluttony really.

That's the very opposite of what it tells us. It tells us that when hormonal inbalances are corrected, people chose to eat better. It tells us it has NOT been gluttony.

Surely if it was just down to gluttony these injections wouldn’t work for most people? Gluttony is eating when you’re not hungry. The injections suppress appetite. A greedy person would continue eating regardless, wouldn’t they?

Gluttony
Have you not read the full thread
People on here talking about their lives and how abuse or cancer has effected their eating
And you deminish their struggles saying it's gluttony omg