Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

I am not overweight. I never have been.

Then you don't have fecking clue what you are talking about.

YABU

OP your honesty is valuable.

There is status attached to being thin in our society. It takes a lot of thin people, albeit not all, a degree of effort and sacrifice. There's been an exclusivity value, especially with rising obesity rates. And now that's going. Other people will have what you feel you do, without the same sacrifices, and your comparative advantage and thin privilege will be lessened. It's understandable that you'd have negative feelings about this, especially when it seems you've been made to really suffer for it.

And some of us battle against it and still have issues losing weight - calories are not the same at all for all people

Exactly, the trope of the happy fat person is exhausting. NONE of my friends have any ficking idea how miserable my weight makes me. Not a clue.

I wonder whether your friends haven't been entirely honest about their own struggles because they recognise you have issues with food and they don't want to make it a 'thing'. It might be that they have been trying to model a relaxed attitude.

Or, it may be that they feel judged and want to push back against that by pretending they don't care?

I understand where you're coming from though OP - I have to admit having the same feelings sometimes. I do think it's an us problem though!

I know where you are coming from & London at least the wealthy SW London brigade, increasingly the initially marginally overweight, def are on it.

Possibly modern life now is skewed to quick fix shortcut. Handwritten Uni essays now AI to give a framework plus etc.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/landmark-collaboration-with-largest-pharmaceutical-company

Just announced....

It is also possible they actually are happy enough with their weight, but it's about health. That they might not bother if they could, say, be obese and it not be harder on their joints, but because they can't they've decided on the drugs.

They're not an easy way out.

I've tried 2 of the jabs and honestly, if I don't eat really little and really well on them I don't lose weight.

A couple of weeks ago I put my back out so have really struggled to get about. I've lost 0.4lb in a fortnight, even on Mounjaro!

Yes, they put you off food a bit, but they're no miracle drug that means you lose weight sitting on your arse and munching on crisps.

@soberfabulous yes, the already almost model thin too, or petite 10/12s who could or should be 8/10, exercise shows its superficial benefits more easiky too & women rewarded. Want Jess Ennis abs? No longer impossible dream.

I think your judgment isn't really criticism of those who've used it to become a healthier weight, it's resentment and anger towards all those wasted minutes spent thinking about it. I'm 39 and not overweight but a day hasn't gone past when i haven't passed my hand over my stomach and thought 'that should be smaller/if I was thinner I'd be more sucessful/if only I didn't need to eat'. I'm very openly envious of people who for whatever reason don't hear that inner voice!

The injections are not a "quick fix", at all. They take time and effort, they are not any kind of cheat. You will only be prescribed them if you are obese or very overweight with a weight-related health condition. If you are not obese or very overweight with a weight-related health condition then that is a positive advantage for you, regardless of any other mental health issues you may have with staying that way.

We don’t have to call them either weight loss injections or diabetes injections. They’re licensed for both conditions, so are simultaneously both weight loss injections and diabetes injections.

You don’t get abs by losing weight. It takes hardcore exercise.

I get it. I've done the same - worked really hard to stay a size 10, get back into those size 10 jeans within a few weeks of giving birth, denied myself treats, stressed about eating/drinking too much, castigated myself if I do put on a few pounds, and generally food has always been a HUGE issue. I wouldn't say I've ever been anorexic but there have been times when I've certainly skirted close to it. There is something galling to think that people who haven't put themselves through this are able to achieve it through a simple injection but a) I'm not sure it is that simple and b) they're doing it for health reasons. One of my friends was about 10 stone overweight and had gastric surgery and looks fabulous now - but if she hadn't had the surgery, she'd have shortened her lifespan massively, and even now, the surgery has come at quite a cost, as she can only eat certain things at certain times etc.

The problem, really, isn't the methods individual women are using to slim down, but society's expectations of what women should look like. I've always felt like I had to live up to an image of being slim and attractive - it mattered enormously to my mum that I was pretty, and I've internalised that. I'm trying so hard not to do the same to my own daughter, but I know she still feels loads of social pressure to look a certain way. It all boils down to patriarchy and the male gaze, but I'll stop now before I start writing an essay on feminism.

I am jealous too OP,

Of people who can control their weight, even though they have tried for decades
Of people who don't have significant weight related health issues that constantly remind them of their uselessness
Of people who have not spent decades becoming a shadow of their former self because of fat shame missing social interactions, career opportunities and much more
Of people who haven't yo-yo dieted with no medical help for decades
Of people who will not have inches of loose skin over their body and face that can only be removed with expensive painful surgery
Of people who don't need to spend a fortune of private prescription for medication that has very unpleasant side effect
Of people who don't need to fear putting it all back on when they come off the medication because their hormones will make them start obsessing about food again and if they can afford this long term
....the list is endless

The grass is not always greener OP. Everyone has their own demons.

@itwasnevermine doesn’t the evidence suggest that for some, they increasingly are, just that?

I also think some of the happy is just accepting. I would drop weight, id have to be under 1200 cals to do so. Then as soon as i stopped counting calories, id go straight back to 90-95kg size 18-20. Didnt matter what i ate at that size, that was my weight and size. Id get fed up and go back to the 1200 cals, drop to a 12-14 at 70kg, get fed up, and bounce straight back to 90-95kg and sit there for years. I finally accepted that was my size, i didnt like it, but id say i was happy, meaning i was accepting of it. 20 years of this im now aware of the effects on my health, and want to change for that reason, im hoping MJ makes the lower calories less miserable, and allows me to get healthier. There is the option to remain on a maintenance dose, and if i have to pay for that for the rest of my life now i would.

@Sailonsilverrgirl you know full well that "gluttony" is a judgemental word, not a neutral description of overeating. It's origins in Christian sin give it a meaning that always includes judgement and implications of moral failure.

You are being completely ridiculous, OP.

These weight loss drugs are incredible for both individuals and society, and if they can help people maintain a healthy weight, that will have a knock on impact for the whole of society, including you.

It will save the NHS a LOT of money and resources treating obese people, and it will save a huge amount of money in benefits for people who are unable to work due to obesity.

If you want to stop eating healthily and exercising, put on a load of weight, and go on these drugs, then go for it. I suspect you don't actually want to be in the position of those that are obese and taking these medications, though.

I wouldn’t bother asking. That person is irrational and angry. Talk of MJ seems to trigger something in them and they’re not willing to listen to facts, or anyone with actual experience of them.

No. Research has suggested that people can be up to 20% hungrier than others.

What's the need to judge? Just let people live their lives