Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

@RainbowZebraWarrior I'm also AuDHD. I've had people tell me that using ADHD meds is "cheating" as well, I should manage it through mindfulness, exercise, diet etc. I'm at the gym 3-4 times a week, up sorting the animals every day, outside often. I mean, it's all good, but it still does not put my brain on a level playing field with people who don't have any neurodevelopmental differences.

People are just crappy sometimes. It seems like some people think "if my life is hard, yours has to be too".

Actually I think there has been quite a lot of understanding going on between different groups on this thread.

Myth one - overweight people thinking that people of a normal or low weight don't have any food noise and are that way naturally. Sometimes true but many are engaged in a constant struggle to maintain a healthy weight and some have never ending food noise especially people that have had an eating disorder.

Myth two - normal and low weight people thinking that overweight and obese people have been able to enjoy eating what they want. Very rarely true. Perhaps they have eaten more in absolute terms but relative to appetite probably not. Most if not all will have been on constant diets and suffered feelings of guilt and self loathing about eating.

So honestly my conclusion from the thread is that people have more in common than they think and everyone has a bit of a tendency towards thinking that other people are having an easier time of it.

Good question - it should be another thread, or several threads.

One of the very few sensible explorations I've seen on the problem of elderly malnutrition found that people in care homes lose interest in food because the food's boring! They also found that doctors expect old people to be underweight (NHS charts used to show ideal weights reducing in old age).

There are tons of other reasons, too: swallowing difficulties are common, requiring food to be sloppy; dentures can hurt; dementia throws a spanner in the works; illness & infections reduce appetite. But illness and infections thrive on malnutrition, and more than one in ten UK elderly are clinically malnourished.

I do get where the Op is kind of coming from. And I am on injections. And she hasn’t been awful and insulting. Just honest.

But I think this is what she and others don’t get. Obese people have spent years or decade obsessing about whether they should have that twix.

We have made being thin our life’s work. Most People who have been overweight their whole lives have been trying to lose weight they whole lives.

Imagine living with constant noise, the self loathing and being on the receiving end of abuse and judgement from other people all focused on the fact that you are also failing at it.

I have been on both sides of it. So I do understand the Op, to a point. But I also tell her she is wrong in her assumption that people have just happily ate what they want and enjoyed life more and now have a drug that will fix it for them. But it’s also obvious that a lot of people including the Op also have the view that this drug is an easy way out. While it’s been life changing for me. It’s not easy at all. And people on it are restricting calories, are having to make good choices, do still have to think about what they eat. They just have some help to be successful.

Yes it would be great if there was medication to help people who are not obese, not obese as about food. And maybe, given the impacts this medication has, there might be in the future. There’s reports of this medication also helping people stop drinking and smoking and engaging in other obsessive behaviours. But for now, this medication is helping people whose lives are at risk due to obesity. But they will have to put in the work.

We always have the same number of fat cells, but they shrink when you lose weight. They don't stay the same size waiting to be filled up again. A fat cell isn't a gasoline tank. Far cells shrink or expand according to your food intake.

I don't know about that. I don't feel that way but don't think it means I'm super evolved and healed.
More likely, it's just that I don't consider the job of staying at a healthy weight as onerous as many people on this thread seem to. I actually love exercise and don't resent not being able to have certain foods. Maybe it's because I've had food intolerances all my life and am just used to going without the things I would like to have. The list of things I can't have is longer than the list of things I can have. I suspect it has shaped my attitude about food. However, my mother also had a lot of food intolerances but often broke her special diet due to giving in to cravings, so maybe it's a personality thing. My daughter is more like me as she's very strict about her special diet and doesn't seem to resent being on it. I have always thought the key to avoiding resentment and envy is acceptance. As one ages and the metabolism slows down, staying at the same weight becomes more difficult and takes more effort. This has to be accepted as well. I also think there is pride to be found in making that effort. We feel better about ourselves when we accomplish something through effort. If weight loss is too easy, that same sense of accomplishment is not going to be there. OP, however, does not seem to take any pride in accomplishing staying at a healthy weight through effort. I don't think that attitude is healthy.

just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection

Op, there is so much more to it than ‘just with an Injection’

but my god, I'd love to take ozempic and eat what I want, even for a month

and it doesn’t work like the above either.

Thing is, the bottom line is those who are upset as they worked at it, and now everyone will get to be like them, just are going to have to accept it. The drugs are here. They are commercialised, and they will continue to evolve and improve.

There is no putting this genie back in the bottle, this is simply the start of the scientific evolution here. Because it’s not vanity, it is the plethora of health benefits managing obesity brings. It is the leading cause of cancer. It causes a multitude of issues, from sleep apnea, high blood pressure, joint pressure meaning replacements, heart attack, strokes. These medications effectively cure these issues, by removing the root cause.

It is not about being a size ten. Anyone who thinks it is needs to think carefully about their level of vanity or shallowness.

Thing is, the bottom line is those who are upset as they worked at it, and now everyone will get to be like them, just are going to have to accept it

The ones who lost weight through diet and exercise will presumably be just as healthy (if they are just 'like them') and possibly fitter, so not sure why they'd even bother to think or worry about people taking injections. I expect they'll just enjoy not having spent the money (compared to people who have gone privately).

Tbh having seen my friend and her dh who are buying it privately and heard all their stories about tiredness and gastro issues it's completely put me off the idea. I'd only take it if it was medically necessary or recommended,.or if I became so obese that that was more of a health issue.

I know what I’ve learned from being on Mounjaro is that I was very very close to being able to lose weight the traditional way but my mental exhaustion/trauma meant I didn’t have the strength to do it for any prolonged period of time.

Excercising? My personal training has been going on for years and I’m fit but still obese. I’ve actually taken part in local CrossFit Masters competitions. So I don’t really understand why people think if someone is obese they must surely not excercise.

Being on Mounjaro has been great and what it’s done for me is give me the willpower to do everything I had been doing myself previously and keep at it. I lose about 600gms a week on average and my daily food intake is the 1400 - 1500 calories per day I’ve always had when trying and failing to lose weight on my own because I’m just mentally wrung out.

Does Mounjaro make it easy? No. But it does make it possible.

Clearly this thread, the whole point of it. Is that they aren’t just enjoying not spending the money,

I'm jealous of people on mounjaro but for a completely different reason, I'm obese and I've been trying to lose weight (after losing and regaining ONCE again) for over 2 years, been to the Drs, count my calories, go to the gym and I've GAINED weight. I'm jealous of all the people who can afford weight loss injections, we're on a debt pay off journey and simply cannot afford it although if I could I definitely would.

(And before anyone says I'll save money on all the crap I eat, I do not stuff my face with takeaways, chocolate, ice cream and crisps that cost a fortune every month!)

@JacobKowalski if you look at the threads many people on montjaro are eating very, very little so its possible you could save money on food.

I was sort of inspired to try to lose weight again by those threads as its clear that its not all about a healthy diet and exercise (though those things obviously have their own benefits) but about eating much less. The problem is I am now hungry all the time!

Still pschologically I am feeling slightly better and more determined about it all. I have read so much stuff over the years that its all about the protein or the fibre or the sugar or the emotional eating or the upfs or the muscle mass and if you only do xyz you will be thin with no effort and won't be hungry.

Well I have tried all of that stuff and quite possibly it has helped me not become obese but it hasn't got me in the healthy weight range. So now I am trying harder to eat less as well. On the plus side planning family meals is getting easier as I spend a lot of time thinking about elaborate meals I'd be interested in preparing.

The irony.

This has been an interesting discussion in many ways, revealing as well about how we all feel pressured about weight, more or less whatever size we are.

A few things that strike me.

One is anyone can eat cake. I eat cake instead of my healthy breakfast occasionally, it's a lovely treat and as part of my overall TDEE it works just fine with some low fat yoghurt (chocolate cake and yoghurt). It's the excessive and constant eating of cake that is problematic for so many people.

The second is that jabs don't necessarily make you skinny. I stopped mine at slightly overweight because I've lost a lot, I lose slowly and I don't think for me, being a size 10 is realistic in my mid-fifties and I like my body as it is.

That's a choice, just as not eating cake is a choice, not caring about size is a choice, but obsessing about food, whatever your size is not likely to be a choice.

This choice is about to be opened up to everyone very shortly anyway. The strictness around only obese people according to BMI having the jab and those with medical conditions has been put in place as a way of limiting demand (given supply issues) and to establish this as a medical treatment in people's minds, but it's very likely that it will be used as a lifestyle drug for those who want to weigh less for the general population quite soon, this has happened with celebs and those who want to obtain it privately can already do so. Money will be a barrier, and it won't be drugs everyone can take, but in general, those who want to live a different life, eat cake and use it will have that option (they do now, if they are happy to pay for it privately or seek it through illegal means as clearly many are doing).

This doesnt make any sense at all

You think, or you think OP thinks that people who need this medication now, havent had decades of internal conflict over a twix, multiply that by a million, by a billion. Internal conflict all day every day

What is this fantasy that fat people just sat about their whole lives, happily, contented chomping down the cake and pork pies, not a thought in their heads about it, not a worry, enjoying it all. No denial either of food either, not one single one of them has ever been on a diet it would seem, not a single one of them (us) has ever restricted their eating at all to try to lose or maintain a weight level.

Utterly bizarre thinking.

Exactly this. There seems to be a view on here that overweight people have never dieted, never denied themselves anything, never struggled with their weight, never yo yo’d… apparently they’ve all just blissfully eaten whatever they wanted for years, happy and secure in themselves, and then a magic drug has come along that they’ve then merrily taken. This is so far from the reality of most overweight people I know (and I have also been on both sides of the coin).

@WiserOlderElf what’s surprised me is, if we look at the evidence on this thread, is how very few have a totally relaxed attitude to food & eat what they like with minimum effort & remain slim esp in later middle age.

Has anyone found it has become harder to regulate appetite as they’ve aged. I found it much harder to feel full post 30, it’s as if food itself triggers ‘wild animal’ hunger that was never there before. Is this down to additives etc? UPF creeping in? Sugar being worthily stripped from drinks. Etc. Noted on Question Time last night how an MP was so delighted sugar disappearing from drinks & snacks etc completely.

@User14March my appetite definitely changed after I gave birth. I had one shocking sleeper and one poorish sleeper and I coped with the years of exhaustion by eating. I felt constantly hungry but really I was just constantly sleep deprived. ex-H bailed shortly after the second came along, so I was on my own and without any support. I just ate my way through it and probably the misery of my marriage break up too. It is hard to disentangle them. So that delightful combination definitely changed my eating habits, so that by the time I was into my 30s, I'm not sure I could remember what normal eating was like and this only got worse into my 40s. I spent those decades comfort eating, draconian dieting, comfort eating, draconian dieting, rinse and repeat.

So, not sure if it is aging or all of that other stuff, but definitely my appetite changed. Obviously, with menopause there is some other weird shit that goes on with all the hormonal changes that happen and appetite (at least for me anyway), so I guess that is age related too.

@User14March I'm laughing slightly to myself because my earliest posts on MN 24 years ago were about DS not sleeping and here I am 24 years on posting about the impact that had on my life. How time flies by.

@MargoLivebetter in my 20s I was nocturnal & we were socialising & drinking a lot. Disordered sleep, out of whack, does often trigger hunger a lot.

Be careful! The haters will be full throttle after you.
I wrote similar and never said a single bad thing about overweight people, I just questioned my own life choices and wondered was all the effort worth it. Amongst other things, I was told -
I have mental health problems.
I'm filled with jealousy
I'm nasty
I need grief counselling
I think fat people are disgusting
I think I'm morally superior
And multiple other unpleasant things thrown at me.
I had absolutely no idea how much some overweight people hate people who have struggled but been successful at keeping the weight off. It's been a real eye opener. I wonder if they hate the naturally slim as much?

There is definitely an evangelical quality to some of the mounjaro posts.