Risking a flaming but jealous of those on weight loss injections

[Notmyfinesthours]

I’ve specifically not put this in the weight loss section as I’d rather hear from those who aren’t dieting or thinking about it. Might help me find perspective better.

I am not overweight. I never have been.
I have however had what feels like a lifetime of making sure this is the case.

I suspect many women feel like me. Brought up to fear being fat or greedy or ‘let myself go’ as if it were the worst sin.

Ive skirted close to or actually been in the midst of orthorexia for most of my adult life. Always saying no to pudding, finding the latest food that will fill me up but not have too many calories and fixating on it before I find the next one. Exercising most days, fitting it in by missing lie ins or nights in front of the fire.

Fretting in pregnancy, menopause and any ill health leading to immobility that it might trigger weight gain.

you get the picture? Self flagellation is big driven by an instilled fear of being fat given to many in my generation (I’m 58) (and yes I know I should address this first- I am trying but the media doesn’t help)

Several of my friends and family are big eaters, always seem to have the toastie and cake when we are out and by their own admissions do little exercise. They have often jokingly talked about being slimmer but say they like food too much and ‘have no willpower’ and can’t be bothered to deny themselves for the sake of a few dress sizes.

I know it’s more complex than that but they basically enjoy life in the way it should be enjoyed to my mind and accept they will be a bit larger bodied. I’ve actually always really admired this as an attitude or at least been a bit jealous of it.

But with the new weight loss injections several of them have dropped weight significantly and are so slim and delighted.

I just feel so cheated. Like I’ve been so careful for so long and they haven’t but they get to be slim just with an injection.

I know it’s more complicated, I know it costs them money, might have risks etc but it’s clear so many celebs are doing the same and it feels like it’s not going to be more commonplace.

Why is this making me feel cheated and am I just an awful person?

I haven't got an eating disorder, unless you think avoiding unhealthy food an eating disorder. My appetite is pitched higher that my needs, I think this is true for many people. I don't know if you want to describe that as a disorder.
And I don't need grief counselling.
Honestly, the vitriol I've had on this thread.

@Kendodd - you will have to forgive me, but from you words below, it sounds as though being slim has been such an immense sacrifice and struggle that you do feel resentful and bitter in some way.

"I have also have decades of restricting my diet and not eating that doughnut that I really, really want and basiclly being hungry."

"I’m now glad that she had all those tiny little pleasures in life that I haven’t had rather life under a cloud of hunger like I have"

"If people ask me why I'm slim, I tell them that I've been on a diet my whole life and it fucking miserable. "

"I have struggled my whole life to not eat the cake. I think everyone knows how hard that is."

"I've just questioned why I bothered with all the dieting and food denial when food is one of the great pleasures of life."

I think most of it based simply on genetics. Most of the overweight people I know, don't noticeably eat any more than the slim people I know - in often cases they seem to be far more conscious of what they eat because of the struggle and perhaps because of experiencing people's judgement in the past.

The fittest, strongest person I know is actually overweight and always has been since I met her - but not through lack of exercise. She also doesn't overeat or drink alcohol.

I think people just store and metabolise food in different ways for many different reasons based on genetics and medical conditions etc. It seems obvious in other species - most greyhounds are food obsessed yet don't put on weight at all. Our poor Labrador only has to look at a sausage to gain several pounds.

My though process.
My relative was always overweight, not massively, size 16/18. She was this weight because she enjoyed a lot more treat food than me. I was slim, I turned down most of the treat food even when I really wanted it and was hungry. Was this worth it? Looking back, I'm not sure it was. I know my relative would have liked to be slimmer, but she had a great life despite this, and she got to eat more delicious food. I was slim (great) but to be so, I couldn't have all the delicious things she ate. I have also had a great life despite this. So bottom line of my thought process is was all the dieting worth it? It was hard being slim and maybe I placed to much value on it?

I can’t work out whether you’re being genuine or sarcastic (because I’m autistic) but I think we do have more in common than you think. While you (and I use that term generally as I don’t know you) might beat yourself up after a binge, I will beat myself up over eating one single “bad” thing. For example, yesterday I felt a bit weak and dizzy at work but there were all manner of cakes and biscuits for someone’s birthday. It honestly took me several hours of deliberating to allow myself one single shortbread biscuit. And I would have preferred a chocolate brownie but the shortbread felt “safer”. And then I spend the entire rest of the day feeling bad about that biscuit because it was not in the plan despite really knowing I needed it because I obviously had low blood sugar. Oh and I’m on my period and it’s normal to eat more then right?

Similarly, “you” might look in the mirror and hate what you see (hopefully you don’t!), but so do I. I can’t see the good bits of me, only the lumps and bumps or the little sticky out belly after I’ve eaten. Or that my face looks haggard because it’s too thin and my eyes look sunken but I’m too scared to chose my face over my body.

I’m not jealous of anyone losing weight at all, I don’t see it of any sort of competition, I’m jealous that there is an option to “turn off” the things that drive people to overeat but there isn’t an option to “turn off” my thought and compulsions. Well there is I suppose, it’s food but therein lies the problem.

It is a struggle being slim. I don't think I'm nationally disposed to it. It's one part of my life though.

Ok, fair enough. It seems there aren't many of us are naturally disposed to slimness in the age we live in.

Sorry typos!

Maybe you did, only you can answer that question. And I think it’s a valuable thing to reflect upon, for your own happiness. I think weight loss injections have very little relevance to that discussion however. If your relative wasn’t hugely overweight then chances are she wouldn’t have qualified for them anyway, and for you to qualify for them you’d have to either be obese or suffer from weight related health issues, which you can’t genuinely think would have made you happy?

I am menopausal and overweight. To prevent myself from getting any fatter I have to constantly restrict how much I eat to the extent that I often wake up hungry in the night. My diet is healthy, fruit, veg, home cooked meals. If I ate as much as I wanted, even of healthy foods, I would be obese. As soon as I stop restricting what I eat my weight creeps up. I cycle every day and do a fitness class once a week.

I think many people of all weights are in this position tbh. Locked in a constant struggle not to get fatter. I can think of many reasons it wouldn't have applied in the past besides ultra processed foods. All food is more varied, palatable, convenient and abundant now.

In the past there were food shortages, no central heating, walking everywhere, frequent illnesses, dirty water and even worms that would have kept people's weight down with no need for extra effort on their part.

I would like to take a safe low dose weight lose drug that would help me reduce to a healthy weight and stay there with no need to think too much about it for the rest of my life.

The naturally (don't need to think about it) slim are in the minority I am pretty sure especially by middle age.

I would like to take a safe low dose weight lose drug that would help me reduce to a healthy weight and stay there with no need to think too much about it for the rest of my life

Maybe one day it will be licensed for this.

I think my relative probably would have (just) qualified for weight loss jabs (not on NHS). Obese hardly looks overweight at all, it's very easy to nudge into it. I know my relative was if you go by those chart things. She looked great though and suffered no health consequences from her weight, lived a full life and her body could do everything it needed to, until it couldn't, but that was not related to her weight at all. She loved her food (as do I) and I'm very glad she took such pleasure. I bet she'd have had the jabs though (and why not).

@Kendodd no vitriol from me.

@BiscottiPerCena great post & I believe it is being legally prescribed by private docs for the borderline overweight looking at weight loss boards etc & from
what I know. Not a maintenance dose as such but we’re heading that way I think.

Everyone smoked too back in past.

Thank you!
The hate I've received is wearing.

Not in the UK it isn’t, currently. This may change in the future though.
The current prescribing guidelines are that to start the medication you must have a BMI of 30, or 27 if you are from certain ethnic backgrounds or have weight related health issues. Anyone in the UK obtaining the medication outside of those guidelines is either buying from a non registered practitioner (on the black market, so to speak), is lying about their BMI or has managed to find an unethical prescriber.

It's hard isn't it, men don't seem to care about this stuff as much. I guess why they die quicker

@WiserOlderElf thanks, what about maintenance doses for previously obese?

The main issue is slim people think they are superior to fat apparently gluttonous people and see themselves as morally stronger so they don’t like that fat people might not be able to be looked down upon .

On weightloss boards def those there with BMI 30 or less hoping to get to mid healthy point BMI, not judging at all but seems all a bit grey?

Anyone who comes on those boards and says this is told not to get them though?

@User14March some tirzepatide (Mounjaro) suppliers in the UK are agreeing to consider maintenance options for those who can evidence their usage journey.

I do wonder if your sense of self is tied up in your size and you are used to and have worked hard to be “the thin one” it must feel difficult to have to recreate yourself in a way.

I consider myself clever and I’ve been ill for a few months and genuinely feel a bit lost within myself. I’m so woolly headed and actually put quite a lot of effort into my appearance, partially to mitigate looking ill but also because I’ve got nothing interesting to say so at least it’s a fluffy conversation filler.

As far as I’m aware that’s very dependent on the prescriber and the patient. Currently it seems that it cannot be prescribed for more than 2 years, but again that may change. I imagine there will be a widening of the criteria for both new starters and maintenance as more clinical trials are done.

Yes there are, and people are warning them against lying to obtain the medication or trying to obtain it from black market suppliers.