Is my child in danger at school?

[Softheart15]

Hi, a boy in my daughter’s year punched her friend in the throat and kicked another in her stomach, he recently struck again on another child but this time much worse, kid ended up
in hospital again unprovoked! Turns out he’s got anger issues and does MMA so lashes out randomly and whoever is there gets it! School are brushing his behaviour under the carpet but I’m worried and have raised this with the head only to be dismissed as have other parents.He was suspended for two day so we’re all waiting for him to strike again but he gets worse with each attack. I spoke to
some of the parents and turns out he’s been doing it inside/outside of school for years! His parents are total Aholes and don’t care and his mum even told another mother to talk to her and not the school but I don’t want it to be my child next. Am I making a big deal for nothing?

Are you the child's mother???

I am sure that you would not leave your own daughter at the mercy of this child (assuming that you are not the boy's mother).

I am not. I wouldn’t no. I would remove my child from a school that cared so little about their safety. Before OP said her DC was private, I thought her school was a poorly rated state school and really felt for her. Removing the child does not remove the problem, the school won't suddenly start caring about the safety of children.

Just take your child/children out of the school OP. You've done all you can. The school and police aren't interested, so you can't do anything to help the other children, but you CAN protect your own, and if you do this, the chances are, that others will too. Presumably you pay fees up front, so tell the school that as they have chosen not to expel this monster in order to protect your child/children, and others in the school, that you cannot in all conscience leave them in their care, and will be withdrawing them immediately, AND you require a refund, although I dare say that they have the money aspect covered in every which way, so that no refunds will be forthcoming.

I think from everything you've told us, that action will only be taken when he either ends up killing a child, or attacks a teacher, let's hope it's the latter, as teachers in the school are obviously complicit in the cover up of his behaviour. In saying that though, they're probably under threat in some way too.

Hi OP, can you explain how these disgusting parents are able to spend their way out of trouble? Are they offering large donations to the school in return for them turning a blind eye when their son seriously injures another child?

Is the school threatening to withdraw children who complain about this child's violent actions?

If that is the case, you should immediately look for another school for your child. All the good exam results in the world aren't worth sending your child into danger every day.

The OP has not witnessed these attacks.

If you reported having it on good authority that John beat up Mavis then the police might eventually pop round for a word, it's true.
It's not that adults have greater protection than children; it's that the "thug" child in question has greater protection from accusations than an adult accused of a crime. Because an adult is considered fully responsible for their actions, in most cases, and can generally defend themselves from malicious accusations should these occur.

Imagine if the child reported was in fact innocent. Let's say another parent has decided that they cannot stand you and want to emotionally hurt you very badly, so they phone the police and tell them that they have heard from a reliable source that your 10 year old son Milo has attacked two children in his school. Not their child, but two other children.

Can you imagine the distress and trauma Milo would suffer if forced to attend for questioning at the police station? Even if it was with you,? How could he prove he didn't do something?

It is very different from a parent phoning the police and saying "My 10 year old daughter Maisie has received a black eye and fractured risk in an unprovoked attack at school by her classmate Milo Davies, and here are the photos to show it". Surely you can see that?

We had an incident near us where a punch meant as a single punch in a bar fight caused sudden death. A kick to the stomach could cause all kinds of issues including damage to internal organs, even sepsis. This attacker is a risk to life and limb, there is no doubt at all about that. He will probably escalate too.

I would be withdrawing in the way I mentioned upthread and I would write to the head outlining the concerns and asking them to confirm in writing that they consider they are doing everything reasonably possible and legally required to provide a safe learning environment. Can they confirm in writing how allowing the attacker to remain in school is compatible with that? If they cannot confirm that, can they outline what in their opinion the options and rights of parents are during this failure of their duty of care? State that you will be taking your own legal advice and a written statement of their position will be needed.

Thanks @RampantIvy. I have an article ready for the papers, but just giving my son a chance to fully recover before we publish. I have repeatedly asked the school's governors to meet so I can give feedback and an idea of what it was like to be on the receiving end of the head's abuse because we tried to complain. They haven't taken me up on it so to the papers we we go

Thank you everyone, bit of an update I met with senior leadership who said they’re aware of the incident and it’s now all sorted. They lied to my face about the latest incident and that it’s all now brushed under the carpet and the thug is being ‘supported’ as the two day suspension has turned him a new character…I spoke to the latest victims mother and she told me something totally different and is visibly unhappy.
Moving schools isn’t as easy as we thought, we’ve put both children’s names on waiting lists and are viewing other schools.
Im so angry as my kids love the school but private schools are a law to themselves and don’t care about children’s safety, just themselves!!! Apparently if I name they’ll sue the pants of me!

An absolute disgrace OP! Please don't let the passage of time distract you from removing your children from this dreadful school, as it's all too easy with this sort of situation to allow that to happen, and then suddenly this kid will have another outburst and attack someone else, and it just might be one of yours that he picks next.

@EstHall I'm sorry you had to go through this and really hope to read your story in the national newspaper, naming and shaming the culprits!

@Inyournewdress the school actually don’t thinks a big deal and have moved on, like it was yesterdays news. They didn’t respond to anyone in writing, too busy covering themselves.

Well you can respond to the meeting in writing...via email!!

@Mumofoneandone thats what I did!

Recent events of children hurting children all over the media I wanted to give you another update on this situation. A group of parents met up to discuss how best to go forward including that of the child attacked and the mother showed us emails to the school and police detailing everything and demanding action. Both institutes are sticking together and think two days suspension is sufficient and there is nothing further for them to do! A parent who was there is a social worker and confirmed that they are unable to take forward if the school and police refuse to report it! Other people warned that this private school alumni network is strong and powerful and will do anything to protect their reputation so best not to mess!
The bully is the same, this time bit more clever about making threats, not so openly and has warned other kids to not play with the kids he doesn’t like or they’ll end up hurt to! Kids are terrified of him, plus he’s a foot taller and stronger than all of them! The smug look on his parents faces is actually sickening and all we can do is hope they mess with the wrong person one day!

Ofsted (private school equivalent anyway) and safeguarding report seems to be next option.
This is truly shocking, but sadly not unusual in some private schools.

@Mumofoneandone they had been contacted, the ones on the ground were keen to take action for some unknown reason it’s been squashed at a decision level! One parent suggested to keep emailing so it’s on the server, not that the school are fazed!

Write to your local authority, MP and even the education secretary. This isn't okay and as we have seen recently, kids seem to be out of control in schools nowadays.

Blessings to you and the family.

@Cheeseburger85 local mp is known to this group and parents seem reluctant to come forward now especially whilst their children are in the school. It’s such a shame as everyone’s equally disappointed and despite the mounting evidence this thug is fully protected!

You could always threaten to let the local television news know the details as well as local press if they do not take action. Being private they would not want any bad publicity.

This is awful.

Maybe they're of the thinking that while they're still receiving yearly/term time payments from the very same parents that are complaining their DC are being bullied it's not that much of a cause for concern.
Clearly duty of care doesn't come into it.

OP, have you removed your children from this school yet? If not, why not? It's all very well doing your utmost to protect ALL of the children, and I note that you said moving your children was proving to be more difficult than you had thought, but that was back in October, has anything changed?

@FranceIsWhereItsAt we’re on a number of school waiting lists and have done lots of entry exams for other schools, so waiting on results. In reality I’ve been told children prepare a couple of years in advance for these exams which we haven’t. Catchment schools are full, I explained to the council the situation and to see if they can expedite us but they need a letter from the school confirming the situation…

@Trumptonagain the school and the police! I couldn’t believe my eyes when reading the emails…I don’t understand why they keep protecting the thug!

@madaboutpurple we did discuss that but after the police and ofstead backed down don’t see much hope, just a backlash!

In that case OP, I would go to the school and talk to the Head, tell them that as you don't feel happy that sufficient action has been taken to keep children safe from this child, you wish to remove your children, but it seems the only way you can do this is if they write the necessary letter. I would imagine they'd be only too happy to oblige, in order to get you (the trouble maker as far as they're concerned) out of their hair.