Is my child in danger at school?

[Softheart15]

Hi, a boy in my daughter’s year punched her friend in the throat and kicked another in her stomach, he recently struck again on another child but this time much worse, kid ended up
in hospital again unprovoked! Turns out he’s got anger issues and does MMA so lashes out randomly and whoever is there gets it! School are brushing his behaviour under the carpet but I’m worried and have raised this with the head only to be dismissed as have other parents.He was suspended for two day so we’re all waiting for him to strike again but he gets worse with each attack. I spoke to
some of the parents and turns out he’s been doing it inside/outside of school for years! His parents are total Aholes and don’t care and his mum even told another mother to talk to her and not the school but I don’t want it to be my child next. Am I making a big deal for nothing?

You can't blame Camhs if the mum hasn't sought any help. She may be burying her head to any needs he has (if he does have any). I started researching, learning and putting things in place to help my son the moment I suspected he was Autistic as I knew wait times where long. It doesn't sound like this boys mum.really wants to do anything about his behaviour

I'm not shocked this has happened at a private school (& didn't notice it was a private school until now), bullying, intimidation and violence happens in every school.

What does shock me is the leniency. At my private school and, much later, at my son's, such misdemeanours were dealt with quite severely, and quickly.

The op needs to find out what is happening with this unfortunate boy. He obviously needs help and other children need to be protected.

I doubt it is being brushed under the carpet and the boy obviously does have special educational needs. Certain protocols have to be followed, in the meantime a firm eye needs to be kept on him at school.

I do hope the op is soon reassured, I know I would be beside myself with worry and might even keep my child at home until this is resolved. However that really should not be necessary.

Similar happened to a family member. The school was in a very deprived area and I don't think many of the parents knew how to challenge the the school for their inaction on the matter.

My family member contacted the education board. Politely but assertively demennded a meeting. She also said that if nothing was done, she would be getting the police involved and a solicitor to ensure safeguarding of her child and that DC had the right to an education free from harm. She also stated that the local media would be the last step. The headteacher did finally listen but in my opinion, still didn't do enough. It was all about protecting the perpetrator.

The school have discussed another child's medical history with you??? I very much doubt this.Sre you sure this isn't more school gate gossip.

Private school - so they don't want to lose the fees by kicking the kid out. In that case, fight fire with fire. Band together with the other parents and threaten to withdraw your children from the school unless this situation is dealt with appropriately.

I'd also report this to the police, and make sure the school know you've done so. Mention talking to the local press, too.

In fact my daughter's school did exclude a child (year 8)permanently because she attacked another child, dragging her to the floor and stamping on her head and the poor girl also ended up in hospital
Bloody hell, that's outrageous. I hope the child recovered quick and had good support in place.

In your shoes OP I would seriously look at moving your child to keep her safe from a potential attack if this kid is so volatile.

Something along the same lines happened to one of my children in the dim and distant past. The lad involved was being abused at home and, to be honest, I wanted him helped, but also wanted my child protected.

I advised the head that if he didn’t have the child removed, and help sought for him, then my children would be taken out and the local paper would let the town know why. I had no intention of naming the child, but people would obviously know who the head was. It had the required effect.

I would consult with other parents and if possible all keep your children out of school until the attacker has been removed. I would certainly call the police also, and encourage any victims to do so. Write a letter to the school as a group saying that they are not making reasonable efforts to provide a safe environment and so you will be keeping your child at home until that changes. Tell them you will as a group take legal advice on whether the school is obligated to make up the teaching time and/or refund fees paid for the time they cannot provide a suitable learning environment.

@AnonymousBleep thank you, seems like the only solution. Very surprised that lots of people assume he is a SEN child straight away because of his behaviour. Lots of children do bad things even the ones that do not have SEN.

Also in answer to your original question I think yes, your child and others are certainly in significant danger. Any of these type of attacks have the potential to cause severe injury or worse.

From what I understand, bullying can sometimes be worse at private schools than state schools. As it is a private school, they want your money, to be blunt, especially with the proposed 20% hike in fees. I would actively look for other schools and be open to the senior staff about this. If other parents also join you in this, so much the better. Perhaps the threat of a mass exodus and the subsequent loss of fees may be the only way that action against the bully would finally happen.

School are just hanging on hoping nothing too serious before he moves schools next year.
Children should be safe in school and importantly, they should FEEL safe.
I’d hazard a guess that there’s quite a few kids who don’t feel safe around this violent child and are genuinely perplexed as to how this behaviour is allowed to continue.
It is possible that a CAMHS referral has been made but we all know how long the waiting list is.
I would consider approaching the school governors stating the safety of children is being compromised. My next step would be contacting the LA.
Sorry just realised this is a private school. I’ve no experience in this area so please discount my comment.

And bullying can sometimes be worse at State schools than Private schools.

Have any of the parents been in touch with his mma class / school? Sorry if this has already been asked and answered I skimmed through but couldn't find it

Something similar happened to my son a few weeks ago but in high school resulting on a fractured cheek bone by a sponsored maui thai fighter 4 years older than him I reported it to the police as school weren't really interested said it must have been an accident and wasn't on cctv but a police liason went to school and checked cctv themselves and it was on cctv and done with intent. They said they can't criminalise a child but suggested and supported the school with a suspension and I went on to get in touch with his sponsors from his fight kit plastered all over social media and informed his gym/club. No been dropped and lost sponsors and was suspended.
Probably come back to bite me on the bum because his family aren't the kind you'd start a feud with but randomly attacking a boy for walking past you is not normal.

I'm not sure if you can report it I done it on 101 online but because it hasn't happened to you / your daughter I'm not sure if you csn but I'd definitely find out where he trains and complain to them.

It’s interesting he is only attacking females. Wonder if he is learning this from his home life / video games? I agree with others who have said a group of parents need to give the option to the Head - either that child is expelled or we all pull our children out. Otherwise, I would take my dd out instantly; children shouldn’t be living in fear at school, knowing that the adults will not protect them. So sorry you’re all going through this.

So.
The mum was a friend of mine. The school wasn't aware it was I school she was going to her dads after and had the iPad and left it on the floor. The kids all gathered together in the clock room she got over whelmed as had argued with the girl earlier. School didn't bring her out first as they should do and she lost it. But again thing is she has adhd and can't help it. So yes the schools fault.

The mum had a bf and my bf worked with her bf. We all fell out now anyways as like you say it was Jeremy kyle and that isn't my style. And yes exactly why had she got his number of her bf to ring my bf to scream at him rather than me or her dad. Honestly it was a horrible time.

Anyways my dd is 9 and on elvanse 50mg no more violence she's made friends and she's fab
I pay over 100 pound a month as she still had another 2 years for cahms. So alot of parents are doing everything they can do with a shit nhs

If you un-autocorrect "with" to "wish" it becomes a grammatical statement, albeit an unhelpful one.

Escalate this to the Governors and local education authority. If you still have one, the local newspaper may be interested.

He hospitalised a child and got 2 days suspension? Wow. I'd recommend the parents of the children who have been attacked contact the police and press charges.

Can you take it higher. Make a written report to Govt Education Department.

I had this happen to my DC and the Headteacher had exactly the same attitude...it was more to do with them not wanting the bully's parents on their back if they told the child off.

As they knew the situation was going on I made it perfectly clear that I was holding them totally responsible for my DC while on school grounds and in their care and if it ever happened again I'd be reporting her to the education authorities and the police.

Regardless of what ever the needs of this child are, the school remain having a duty of care to keep other children safe from harm. SEN needs DO NOT overrule safeguarding responsibilities.

It needs to be raised as a safeguarding concern.

If the head is dismissive, you start to use the school's own policy on safeguarding going over the head first to the governors then elevating accordingly (how to do this will be within their safeguarding policy).

Just because its a private school, doesn't mean its not subject to safeguarding either.

This is NOT ok.

Police will get involved if child is 10 as that is the legal age of criminal responsibility. They may also speak to the school if you tell them that school is not dealing with it.

I would also report to the LA.

You need to write a letter to the achool

because if you write a letter ofsted have to see proof of how the school have handled the complaint

going in or phone call does nothing.