To be worried about who im due to marry

[rorymary]

We are getting married in 6months, I'm honestly doubting myself.

We have a young child together, plus a child each from previous relationships. It was all great to start with, even up until after ds was born then the cracks started.

Trouble with his family. His negativity, his influence on my dd, such as swearing and general teasing, in a "jokey" way.

Recently he has been so grumpy and angry, i feel like im walking on eggshells. Not because im scared of him, it's more just to be aware incase i need to stop him swearing out of anger infront of the kids or generally bringing the mood down.

Am i nuts to be marrying him?

Of course there are good things about him, but i honestly struggle to care about them when he gets like this

Sounds horrible. Generally things don’t get better after marriage, they get worse. I wouldn’t if I were you

I wouldn't either

Have you brought it up with him?

Trust your gut, its reacting to red flags.

Also agree trust your gut

Definitely needs discussing before marrying. You have a child together and relationships change after having a baby. Why is your husband so stressed? Is he bearing all the financial responsibilities since new baby? I'm not making excuses but I think you need to consider exploring why things have changed and allow opportunities for change . You have a child together, a major consideration

Do not marry him. If he doesn't enhance your life then dump him. You should not be walking on egg shells.

You are scared of him if you're not calling him out on his behaviour.

Trouble with his family, negativity, his approach with your daughter, all negative and shit really.

Definitely leave him.

Not good to be walking on eggshells at this stage. Think it's pretty normal to ponder whether you're doing the right thing 'in general' before a big step such as marriage (I did!) but if there are specific behaviours like moodiness and anger that put you on edge, then you might need to re-think.

And the general teasing towards your daughter, how do you think she likes that? Have you asked her? I bet she thinks it's shit.

Listen to your gut op. It's telling you marrying him isn't right.

I wish I had had the guts to call off my wedding. More than once..

I second this-your gut is never wrong.

Of course you shouldn’t marry him. End things and focus on an amicable coparenting relationship.

Trust your gut
things will just get worse

Do not marry this man.

Another one here saying trust your gut OP. If there are cracks now, it's only going to get worse, once he gets a ring on your finger.

At the very very least postpone the wedding.

But I'd think about making it an extremely long postponement. Like the 12th of never.

Oh no, how much planning and paying for this wedding has already happened?

Can you quietly drop the wedding and start to assess what you want to do? You do not need to make big decisions all at once, just take a step back.

I really would find a way to not marry first and then look at the situation with the child you share and how best to help each of your own children from before.

He’s grumpy, angry, and literally abusing your daughter under the guise of being ‘jokey’. Get him away from your kids for the love of god 🙄

Do. Not. Get. Married.

Remember, it's not him, it's you. After all, it's just a piece of paper.... Speak to the celebrant and they can have a admin accident.

Blame the fucking fairies if you have to but get the hell out of there and disappear.

And put a Clare's Law application in. Speak to women's aid for advice. Once you're married, you're stuck with him for a year until you can even think about divorce.

Do NOT saddle yourself with an angry man.
They are horrible, selfish, callous creatures who don't care who they offend or hurt with their aggressive, cruel behaviour.
They are a self-indulgent black cloud looming over everything.
Your children deserve to relax and thrive in their own home.
Don't marry him.

’Teasing’

No. if you allow this man she’s not even related to to trash her safe space throughout her childhood you will lose her by the time she’s 14.

Get rid of him.

Trust your instincts. He's showing you who he is...believe him. Do not marry.

Don't marry him.

Getting out of a marriage is so fucking difficult and expensive. Do not marry him, he's already not that nice to you or your children. It definitely won't get better.