To be worried about who im due to marry

[rorymary]

We are getting married in 6months, I'm honestly doubting myself.

We have a young child together, plus a child each from previous relationships. It was all great to start with, even up until after ds was born then the cracks started.

Trouble with his family. His negativity, his influence on my dd, such as swearing and general teasing, in a "jokey" way.

Recently he has been so grumpy and angry, i feel like im walking on eggshells. Not because im scared of him, it's more just to be aware incase i need to stop him swearing out of anger infront of the kids or generally bringing the mood down.

Am i nuts to be marrying him?

Of course there are good things about him, but i honestly struggle to care about them when he gets like this

You'd be an irresponsible fool to marry him.

The thing that stands out to me is ‘teasing your daughter in a jokey way’. I don’t think a grown man teasing a child is jokey, I think it’s low level bullying or emotional abuse that is only going to get worse, particularly as you’ve already said you’re worried about it. Do not marry him for the sake of your child.

If the good doesn't outweigh the bad it's not worth it.

I've been with my husband 18 years and if he started swearing at me or my kid I'd divorce him - you're not even married yet, how much worse do you think he'll get once you're locked in? Why put yourself through the hassle of the inevitable divorce when his behaviour gets too much? It'll be easier to leave now.

Yes you're nuts.

Why are you proceeding?

No one will be surprised if you called it off.

Please do not stay in am I happy relationship.

If you need to ask the question, then the answer is NO don't marry!

100% no

Noooo! Don’t do this.

Run for the hills

I'd think very carefully about whether this is a good move. Definitely don't marry him out of the belief of 'it's too late to go back now'.

Listen to your gut! It’s always right. it’s trying to tell you something but I suspect you know that already. Better to call it off than divorce a short time later. Your gut is like reminding you it’s a red flag.

It seems this may be a bad idea
If you have red flags - no

This. There should be no doubts when you marry.

Don't marry him. And don't have any more children with men who you don't know very well.

Good for you for listening to your gut instinct. Don't marry him. Things will get worse. He is showing you who he is, and you're right not to want to marry him.

Are you safe? Do you want to end the relationship?

If you have doubts now I'd listen to them . I wouldn't go into a marriage if things aren't
great .

Listen to your gut don't marry him

He’s showing you who he is

he thinks he’s got you hooked and he’s letting the mask slip

How long have you been with him?

I feel that this is a sign of worse to come. Things like this never get any better, only worse. This is classic abusive man behaviour.

call the wedding off now and make plans to get you kids out of this situation

this is not your fault, but only you can save yourself and the kids now you know. If you stay any longer, knowing what kind of man he is, the harm is on you.

Sounds like warning signs, if you are already doubting it then maybe that’s your answer.

When i was a kid, i had an uncle who would constantly wind me up and generally say things that he knew would irritate me.

In hindsight, i wish my mum had told him to give it a rest.
Like 'ha ha...it was mildly funny the first time you said it. But, move on, now'.

I didn't even live with this man, and i dreaded seeing him.
Your daughter has no respite from this dickhead.
That sort of behaviour is very corrosive.

Listen carefully to your gut...the anxiety is giving you some excellent advice.

Be brave and call it off. You might lose some deposits, etc. But that's much cheaper than a divorce.

Another vote for 'don't get married' here.

This is bad enough - but could get a lot worse...

I think you have your answer op.

Of course you don’t marry him. If you’re on eggshells your daughter will be too. Also fuck the “joking” thing, I’m sure your dd doesn’t find it funny. Protect your dd and baby and leave him.

You don't have to "trust your gut" You only have to look at objective reality. Do not marry this man. He is vile to your children and you're walking on eggshells. Dump and move on!

This.