Screaming kids on trains what the F is wrong with parents these days

[denverz]

I mean why can’t parents tell they’re not so dc to shut the hell up? I mean they don’t have to say it quite like that of course but come on parent your kids. I’m currently on a long haul train to London there are only five stops and the first three were blissful then gets on a dad with two kids one school aged one toddler and neither will stop shouting. I know kids get excited and that’s all well and good but it’s 7am and people are sleeping on the train. The dad isn’t even attempting to quiet them foen. AIbu to think he’s a knob?

That's fucking mental.

So put some effort into calming them down and helping them "regulate"

No one can make a child be quiet but you have to at least try. Most kids naturally allow volume to rise over time and need reminders to quieten down again. This is perfectly normal behavior and not the childs fault, or parents, but it requires constant management. A child who refuses to be quiet and screams or gets worse has a bigger problem but again this can be managed to some extent. The child could moved for a break or distracted but either way the parent should apologise. I had a very hyper and difficult child (diagnosed issues) and would dread these journeys, but I worked constantly at strategies to help him stay occupied and always always apologised to everyone around me if he was too boisterous. I often resented this as I was doing everything in my power to manage him, but it still needs to be said. In the same way if you bump someone accidentally you still apologise even if wasn't really your fault.

I think as a society we need to speak up a bit more. Ask politely that the child remains quieter. Say it directly to the child if needs be, 'you are hurting my ears' is a good one. Or a ssshh sign to the child too. This modern day approach of being furious and judgmental is all wrong and does nothing to teach children about acceptable behaviour.

Babies crying/ toddlers or children with additional needs having a meltdown and being beyond consoling is entirely forgivable especially when there's no escape avaliable. I remember an hour long flight where a baby howled from take-off to landing and the poor parents tried everything reasonably possible.

Children shrieking for the sake of it with that ear drum piercing pitch is literally painful and totally unnecessary. It has increased in recent years too
We're regularly having to stop children at our youth group from screeching with excitement- it never used to be an issue until the last few years.

I've wondered if it comes from screechy social media influencers.

One thing to bear in mind when a young child is crying is the sensory overload. Personally the noise of phones, whether it be videos playing or someone on speaker really upsets me, gives me the rage to be honest. Much much more than noisy kids. So some kids are acting out from this adult led noise. I've said above I think we should be more vocal in asking children and parents to be quiet but i think this goes for electronic type noises too. If everyone in a carriage was willing to ask the person with the speaker phone to stop, it would take a very strong willed person to refuse. If it became the social norm like queuing or saying thank you it wouldn't be an issue.

I find this sort of thing totally intolerable so now rarely eat out anywhere and avoid public transport as much as possible.

I have my own acute sensory issues which have worsened since menopause. No one bothers about people like me in that sort of situation. It should not be this way.

I realise a rapidly rising number of children have significant disabilities but there is also a large group of seemingly indulgent parents who allow the sort of wild and disruptive behaviour that would not have been remotely countenanced when I was a child.

It's horrendous. My last 2 trips on a train from London to Scotland were plagued with loud (I mean loud) badly behaved kids who jumped and bounced on seats and kicked chairs. And there parents let them crack on.

MN told me to wear ear phones and think kindly of the little darlings 😳

We don’t know why or what situation some one is in though. We can’t necessarily tell if a child has SN or not for example. Maybe grow up and don’t be so judgemental of parents trying to deal with a child who’s having a meltdown / tantrum. It happens to almost every parent. Children make noise, get over it.

@ByTealShaker imagine if adults did the same thing? If I say there and screamed because I was overwhelmed, tired or hungry?

You’re comparing adults to children …? We have a developed pre-frontal cortex and amygdala, children don’t. They can’t control their emotions like adults can. Can’t believe you don’t know that.

@ByTealShaker parents should do more then. I have no sympathy for parents who ignore their screaming children.

Sometimes trying to calm a child down only makes it worse, but ok.

@ByTealShaker so the rest of us have to suffer?

Yep.

You’re not being unreasonable. I’d be having a very stern word with my child.

Then you should leave if in a restaurant. I appreciate on a train that’s not possible but you could go between carriages in the middle bit. I’m sorry but it’s lazy parenting to do nothing because “it might make things worse” while not removing your kid and just thinking it’s ok to inflict the situation on others

@DanielaDressen 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

On these threads I always marvel at how people apparently can hardly go out of their doors for falling over screaming, badly behaved children everywhere. I can't say I've even noticed a child's behaviour anywhere one way or another since mine stopped being toddlers 15+ years ago.

I dunno. Some screaming child was shrieking over my garden earlier. I went out and when I returned there was a fucking boot out there.

But you try

You don't ignore it and you don't indulge it

Congratulations.

Almost every bus and train journey seems to be filled with kids screaming and parents ignoring them

No.

No we don't.

And yes, I have children. And grandchildren.

And unless SEN, parents have to try.

And even with SEN there may well be things that will work

Leaving them doesn't.

Conductors need to enforce polite and considerate behaviour on trains. These are the rules, if you break them, you're off at the next stop, no questions asked.

Saw one. Looked about seven. Screaming at the top of their lungs. Full blow tantrum