Screaming kids on trains what the F is wrong with parents these days

[denverz]

I mean why can’t parents tell they’re not so dc to shut the hell up? I mean they don’t have to say it quite like that of course but come on parent your kids. I’m currently on a long haul train to London there are only five stops and the first three were blissful then gets on a dad with two kids one school aged one toddler and neither will stop shouting. I know kids get excited and that’s all well and good but it’s 7am and people are sleeping on the train. The dad isn’t even attempting to quiet them foen. AIbu to think he’s a knob?

There's so many adults who are having long, loud and fast phone conversations with their phone on loudspeaker, on public transport and in shops, that children don't bother me. I don't know if it's the norm in some cultures, so you can have group conversations.

My GC are in primary. We had the meet-the-teacher/expectations evening. When the loudness of children was talked about, the parents of the loudest made every excuse possible. These children are turning ten. They are struggling with their children because they are trying to be their best friend and never upset them. Combined with the few feckless parents, it's not going to go well when they all hit 13/14. Unfortunately they will be in the same school still as my GC.

There are always loud people on the train (well, not every single train). IME the worst offenders are well dressed middle aged women who have partaken in the consumption of alcohol.

I have to say I'm on a very pleasant and well behaved carriage at the moment. What a difference it makes!

What I've come to realise from living in a nappy valley / yummy mummy area of London for the past few years is, some parents simply don't realise how noisy their children are. Loud banging and screaming in coffee shops just doesn't register for them. It's like they have forgotten what it's like to have a peaceful or semi-peaceful coffee of a Sunday morning.

I know this because having spoken to some of them, they seem lovely and considerate otherwise. They just don't realise how excruciatingly noisy and obnoxious their children can be and are oblivious to the fact that they are ruining people's Sunday morning.

This has helped me be more forgiving and never, ever forget my noise cancelling headphones when I'm out and about here. 🙂

And loud parenting is the pits.
"It's OK to have big feelings darling!" Said loudly and repeatedly to a child who was annoying their father by poking him. The father finished sending a mail just said "stop it!" quietly and firmly and carried on chatting with the child normally.

You obviously don’t have a clue what gentle parenting actually is.

As for the children, it depends on the situation. What were they shouting? Were they upset and the dad not comforting them? Some adults seem to be completely intolerant to young children in public spaces at all, not saying that’s the op but unless these children were actually feral then it’s hard to imagine they were just say there shouting any random noise for hours.

Absolutely this!

Even in the quiet coach so many people don’t seem to understand what proper behaviour in public is. Adults who should know better listening to music or watching films without , parents letting their children yell or play noisy games (again without headphones) - it’s a constant bloody cacophony. I would never have been allowed to behave that way.

Whoosh! That went over a head
A tongue-in-cheek post
It's Saturday morning. The sun is shining

Dd did this on a train back from London recently. I’d given up and moved down the carriage. Dd told them to stop shrieking and pointed out they were in the quiet carriage. Mum glared daggers at Dd but the kids shut up!

Yanbu, some parents simply passively observe the behaviour and make no effort to deal with it, some even try to delegate it 'the lady will tell you off'...um.no please can YOU do that yourself as they're YOUR kids! Don't even get me started on ipads with no head phones and the volume up...just no!

I always feel very sorry for the kids being dragged up by parents who obviously don't care, either about others around them or about the kids being able to fit in to society when they get older. They no doubt grow up to be the ones blasting music without headphones...

I work in early years and recently came across two families whereby the don't like using the word NO!

We also have children who continually say NO to staff , such as, can you help tidy up NO, let's go for lunch NO. It's raining let's put a jacket on NO!

Its like they are allowed to run about feral at home woth no guidance

Honestly these children run rings around the parents and the parents still are gengentgently spoken with them.

Children need boundaries and guidance, they don't need you to be their friend.

As a Londoner and frequent train user I would take loud dc over adults chatting crap on the phone, playing music, shouting loudly in a group. I come across the last 3 all the time, noisy dc not so much.

Who cares why they’re shouting? Unless someone is murdering them there’s no need for kids to inflict themselves on others. I’m fed up with lazy parenting. Sick of it.

I used to say to Dd that other people don’t want to hear her and if she can’t sit quietly we would leave, this was when she was a toddler in a cafe, etc. needed to tell her that once or twice and never needed to again.

But then I interacted with her when we were out and about so she had no need to be shouting and shrieking.

im a member of an “up market” gym with a members lounge where yo7 can order food and drinks. Members with kids seem to feel it’s some sort of unsupervised play area. So the parents sit there having coffee and chatting and ignoring their kids who rampage around the place at full volume and often on scooters! I’ve started telling the kids off. Though thankfully there’s an adult only lounge I head for if it’s not full.

Neither do many of the so called gentle parents.

It’s not just parenting style, but our culture of people enjoying screaming and shouting and then enjoying listening to screaming and shouting. People think it’s funny, endearing and normal. Well, that’s my synopsis, based on having to put the TV on mute because adverts and programs incorporate so much high-pitched shouting, screaming and wailing into the script.

Was in a museum a few weeks ago and became aware of a screaming toddler. A tiny little boy.

He was being carried by his dad while his mum pushed the empty buggy. For about ten minutes the little boy was seriously distressed yelling mummy mummy mummy with his arms frantically out at his mummy who was standing two feet away ignoring him while she pushed the buggy.

It was very distressing to hear and honestly really affected my enjoyment of the museum.

Eventually the dad handed him over and the child stopped instantly but they had no understanding of the impact on others of a clearly easy to fix situation.

Who cares why they’re shouting? Unless someone is murdering them there’s no need for kids to inflict themselves on others. I’m fed up with lazy parenting. Sick of it.

Theres a huge difference between being a bit loud and screaming blue murder. Anyone can be a bit loud and not realise they may be irritating others (plenty of other examples here), but if they were screeching for 2 hours straight that’s a different matter. This thread seems to be more about adults who think public spaces are theirs to dictate any noise level. Some of these responses are near toddler level tantrums in themselves.

Neither do many of the so called gentle parents.

There are some parents who think gentle parenting means letting the children fully take the lead and do as they please, but id not say ‘many’. And even if you come across one instance of parenting you think is ineffective, you’re seeing a snapshots of someone’s day. I’ve had moments of my ASD child in full public meltdown - just saying ‘stop it!’ or being ‘firm’ would have zero effect. I’m sure to the outside it looks like I’m letting a child have a screaming tantrum 🤷‍♀️.

Kids will be kids
It's a train not a library or hotel.
People sleeping should have gone to bed earlier 🤷🏻‍♀️ surely if you regularly travel by train you know how noisy they are?
Unfortunately children (especially toddlers) don't come with an off switch.

The fact that people are sleeping on the train is neither here nor there - everyone has had to get up to get on the train, so the children do not need to make allowances for sleeping adults! Are the children really shouting, or are they just loud? Some people are very intolerant - I remember (many years ago) going to visit my mother with my children. Obviously we were on an off-peak train - it was about 9.30 and we were all sitting round the table having a card game. A man with a laptop actually asked me if I could stop the game and keep them quiet because he was trying to work! I told him that my DC weren’t being unduly noisy, and that he had the choice of moving, catching a peak time train where it was highly unlikely there would be children, or travelling first class (ditto). I was outraged! Children have as much right to travel and be sociable as anyone else - and I agree with others that children chatting and laughing are far less intrusive than others’ music and (my particular bête noire) watching films without headphones.

I can't get my head around 'let kids be kids' when it effects other people's enjoyment of the space! I understand it's different with SEN.

DS is 5. He knows:

Whispering in spaces like libraries/doctors offices - we make a game of it!

Shouting when we're outside, in a playground or park. Can also be fun!

Regular voices everywhere else.

I'm as committed to this as much as no swearing/hitting. And as far as I'm aware he's still a kid and enjoys 'being a kid' without deafening everyone in earshot 😂

Afraid at that time of the morning I would be telling them to shut the hell up myself.

And maybe the mum was absolutely worn out because the child only ever wants her and won't be pushed in the pram. And the dad was trying to give her a break.

Yes parents should parent their kids and be considerate of others but I think there's a happy middle ground to be found. Children and young families are part of society and they are hard work, they can't be expected to behave impeccably at all times and parents can't be expected to constantly be perfect.