WWYD - Ex writing emails signing off jointly...WITHOUT ASKING!

[CFStrikesAgain]

Acrimonious divorce - ex complaining he's not getting school emails.

First asked me to forward any emails that might interest him. Nope.

Secondly asked DC to do it for him. Again, Nope.

Thirdly, wrote to the school asking for remedy and signed it from BOTH OF US!

I only learned of this when the school wrote to me using my email, addressing us jointly, using first names, ie, Dear John and Jane, your email and phone is correct and please check your junk folder, etc.

WWYD?

I can't have my ex writing to the school on my behalf! God knows what he wrote in the email, using my good name!

AIBU for this mattering to me or do all exes do this?

Given OP has said they’re going through an acrimonious divorce then yes it probably would have been hard for her to do this. He just needs to ask school to add his email to there email list

I do feel a bit desperate as I looked just now at the correspondence from school, and it's been 20 texts or emails this month so far.

It's too much to keep sending to the ex when the school provides access to everyone equally

It's not ok for him to do this and you don't have to manage the school emails on his behalf.

I'd perhaps make sure the school are aware that you are separated and that there is to be no communication addressed to both of you and that if he replies as if from both of you, that this is always without your knowledge and permission. Any confirmation of any request needs to come directly from your individual email address.

No, I was really helpful and said he can contact them to make sure he never misses anything, and that I knew other parents did the same and it worked for them.

He hasn’t asked to be added to that he wants OP to forward emails for him!

No, his email has always been on all documents I’ve ever completed for school and he received emails for 3 years for our eldest, I don't know why it suddenly stopped but I helped direct him to the right place to restart it (the right place being school and not me)

So he wants you to filter what relates to your DC eg their year’s sports day, parents’ evening etc and to weed out the ones about charity donations etc so he doesn’t have to.

Not a chance. He can ask school to send him emails and he can enjoy weeding just like we all have to.

Is it so hard for him to ask the school to email him rather than using the op as a middleman? How is she meant to know which exact emails from the school should be of special bother to him? I don’t forward emails to my ex, as far as I know he gets the ones for one child’s school but hasn’t bothered with the other. Not my problem if he doesn’t know what’s going on, only a reflection of them as parents.

Yes that's exactly what he was asking me to do, and then asking the children to do for him.

They have enough on their plate remembering dates for PE kit and signing homework off, they don't want to be burdened with extra like that, especially if they're expected to filter the parts of interest only

@collegeK
"but point 3… he emails the school to ask how he can be added presumably because OP refusing to permit

i have just been through this so i know the process and no way would they just add on with it asking the existing primary contact"

I have always signed his details up, and they have always emailed - literally for years. Nothing has changed!

I think I would just send the school office a quick, factual note to let them know what happened.

We've been divorced for years and they've sent emails right up until last week

The OP can’t refuse it isn’t her permission to give he is a parent with parental responsibility that is sufficient and one who is known and whose email address is known to the school

Most cases of this in the past have been because the angry parent has blocked the school mailing address at some point - or is trying to get the school to disclose the other parent's email and mobile number/school app logins.

That's why we have a package set up to automatically send to #1 and #2 contacts separately - and the ability to specifically block those where there's a court order prohibiting contact.

See also (99/100) men screaming that they've not been posted a copy of school photo proofs. Well, no, you won't have them, what with it being the 21st century. Willing to bet that the email with the link to order and pay for your own copies is in your spam folder, though.

I did reply to the dear John and Jane email explains we don't live together and my emails work fine; that I sugggested he gets his back on track as I can't see why they've dropped off all of a sudden when it's worked for years!

I guess my point was more WWYD if your ex is writing joint emails without telling you!

Yea, thank you! I don't have that sort of power and even if I did I wouldn't abuse it. He was the abuser, not me.