Things someone has done that suddenly made you weirdly attracted to them

[Carryonrunning]

I got to work this morning and I have a bit of equipment that I use that I always struggle setting up.

I turned up a bit early and put it on the table ready to set up. A guy I work with who honestly I have never really even liked as a person and am DEFINITELY not remotely
physically attracted to, picked it up off the table while we were all chatting before our shift, and wordlessly constructed it for me.

For a minute I thought he thought it was his and was very confused, but he handed it to me once done.

I cannot stress how much I am not attracted to this man but it was weirdly hot.

Please share your versions of this so I know I’m not a complete weirdo!

I fell in love with my now DH when he fixed my printer in university...the knowledge, the skill, the care for my education and wellbeing...it took a while but he stuck with it 😀

He's reminded me (after I read out some posts on this thread) that he fixed the sink this week.

Once we were walking uphill and I was in front when I stumbled and started to fall backwards. He just calmly caught me and put me back on my feet 😀

He doesn't like the phrase "wide-on" though 😂😂

Aragorn is my ideal man, in book or film (Lord of the Rings). In the film, he is shown crying. He is also a fighter, a leader, a singer and poet, speaks the Common Tongue and Elvish, is strong, kind, compassionate and caring. A true man embraces all the skills and attributes of a good human being.

It works both ways though. Until lockdown DP was aware that I'm a university lecturer but had actually never given much thought to what I do. Overhearing some of my online lectures he saw a different, competent, side of me. He was impressed! In his favour he has good forearms and is kind to all living things.
Plus he's good with taps, sanding doors and can fix computers.

I should be sleeping but I found this thread 😂

Man 1 knew what he was doing 😁

Oh, I get this! Overhearing my wife in "boss mode" during Covid was bloody sexy! Especially if she was wearing a crisp,white shirt. Hubba hubba.

I've enjoyed this thread. You can sometimes forget that most women actually like at least some men if you read too much of the relationships board.

I'm turned on by a lot of traditionally male stuff - heavy lifting, competent DIY, good spatial awareness / mechanical intuition, some degree of protectiveness etc. I'm a single parent and manage everything on my own (with varying degrees of competence) so it's not about helplessness.

I think there's a bit of biology there - in that what we are sexually attracted to has deep evolutionary roots which have not fully been socialised away - and a bit of liking the idea that someone else might take over some task and just get it done when there is so much on my plate.

Another former single mum told me that she fell for her now husband when he cleaned her kitchen and fixed various broken things while he was babysitting her children (they were friends before getting together).

My long-time postie noticed my old box bike (we're going back about 7 or 8 years) had a flat.
He showed up next day with a repair kit and rolled up his sleeves and just got down to business. I could have had his babies then and there. It was the way he rolled up his sleeves... he was so selfless, helpful, and generous with his time. Just a nice bloke! The kind I should have married!
Up until that day, he was just my postie. I've been secretly in love with him ever since. He's seen me married, pregnant, raising kids, waving the older one off to uni and into adult life. He'll be delivering my final order/decree absolute any day now.
He has no idea how big a shape he makes inside my heart. And it really kicked off with that patch repair kit! 😅He'll retire soon. I wish I could put my feet up next to his and talk about our cats. Next lifetime.

It's about attraction, competence is an evolutionary thing, it is entirely natural to value competence and to find it attractive.

If you look at relatively monogamous animal species, however long the monogamy exists for, i.e many birds, they really value competence in a mate. A mate not pulling its weight, male or female gets ditched so they find an alternative to create new life with. Makes sense, competence is passed on, it's a survival tactic.

It's sensible to want a nurturing, caring, capable, partner who can help raise a family. The continuation of species is not a gender role, it is a biological one and in many species it needs partnership to make it happen.

So true. I was fortunate to have the “pick of the bunch” in my twenties so went for a tall broad strong competent and kind man. Sub consciously chose someone who would be able to protect our family and rescue us in times of trouble! What heterosexual woman wouldn’t given the choice? Ooh no I’ll have a non driving lazy weed who can’t read a map thanks. - don’t think so.

@SerenityNowInsanityLater is he married? If not maybe you won’t have to wait for another life time! Does he know you are getting divorced? This sounds like the makings of a beautiful love story 😍

It's about attraction, competence is an evolutionary thing, it is entirely natural to value competence and to find it attractive.

That’s fair but some of these definitions of competence (like being able to drive a car) aren’t exactly going to narrow it down much. Most people can drive a car 🤷‍♀️

It's the Michael Mcintyre one for me too. DH reversing quickly down a street and round a corner like it was nothing. I can barely reverse into a supermarket parking space.

I told DH about the Michael Mcintyre thing once and he looked at me like I was nuts 😂

SunsetSkylane I don't think he did. It was a professional chat over zoom & I think he just rolled up his sleeves without thinking... & I was left sitting there thinking 'How the hell can I concentrate on what you are saying now that I've seen your arms?!'

Is my husband leading a double life????? 🤔 🤣😂

@SerenityNowInsanityLater Is he married, do you know?

I would be gone over this one.

Did it go anywhere?

I once had a friend who explained shutter speeds and F stops to me while loading film into an SLR. By the time we were in his makeshift dark room I was seeing him in a whole new (lack of) light and the kiss I didn't see coming was well received.

Was he not a gymnast in a previous life?

Of course they can but some maneuvers are more difficult than others and it is still a competence.

Better to have a driver than someone who won't even sit behnd the wheel or find anywhere. If there is an emergency or you just want to go for a night out, someone who drives is very useful

Expertly opening a crisp packet with his teeth, then emptying the whole thing into his mouth. He also walked everywhere with one hand in his pocket, like super casual and cool. I only found out later that he had one working arm, but to be honest that just made it hotter (am I bad?)

It has to be the skill of active listening. Asking questions and actually really listening, making you feel seen. How rarely does that happen?

This. A friend’s DH remembered a throwaway comment I’d made months ago and applied it to a situation. It was so thoughtful and showed he listened carefully to what I said. And he was madly in love with my friend so not trying it on with me, it was just how he was. I found it so attractive.

A number of years ago a colleague, whom I barely knew, offered me a lift in poor weather. It was mid winter and he was wearing black leather gloves and was a very skilled yet relaxed driver.
I found that I could not keep my eyes off his hands on the wheel and felt quite aroused.

We remained simply colleagues for quite some time, but there must have been a spark.

Readers, 4 years later, I married the man.

It was 1995 one of the hottest summers recorded I was pregnant and my other half was working locally as a gardner I went to give him some lunch and when I found him he was stood outside a church mowing the lawn, he then stopped took his top off grabbed the hose pipe to cool himself down….eyes closed head back smoothing his hair back 😜…so hot still together 30 yrs later and he never knew I saw all this I swear I could’ve gotten pregnant twice 🤣