Is My boyfriend right I shouldn’t do the school run with a dad

[Bedandtoast]

Basically my son started school recently and he normally waits outside for his friend who live on a road near ours and we all walk back together. My boyfriend drove past and seen (he knew we walked) but he heard me say something like well hopefully I will see you tomorrow when I left.
he argues that I shouldn’t be close with a man I just met and theres no need. This man is a single dad who’s wife passes and had no ‘mum’ friebds. I feel so torn because if my boyfriend was walking with another mum I might get jelous but it’s so obviously platonic

Massive red flag that he just happened to be driving pass and then said thst

Oh for goodness sake.
It's called parenting. Your boyfriend/partner/husband is an insecure child

Your boyfriend is wrong and probably controlling.

hth

Your boyfriend doesn't get to decide who you spend your time with at the platonic level. If he can't deal with that, that's a sign to bin the boyfriend.

Yeah, you should totally operate a sex-segregated school run.

Honestly, isn't it absolutely exhausting going through life scanning crowds in terms of automatic warnings for people who have the right organs for your partner to potentially have sex with?

He's wrong, but so would you be if you didn't like him doing the same. Sounds like you don't trust each other.

And yet on MN, men are not allowed platonic friendships with women because they are clearly having an affair with them... 😂

OP, YANBU to walk to school with him at all. You do need to think about the hypocrisy of how you'd feel if your DP was walking with a woman though.

Get rid of your boyfriend. Jealous and trying to control who you talk to.

Good lord. Me and DH both do school runs and walk with various other parents of both sexes.
I even arranged a playdate with one child and his Dad at a soft play area. We managed to be there for almost 3 hours and didn't accidentally have sex in the ball pool.

Your BF needs to grow up, if he can't he needs to be an ex.

This but isn't actually is okay he's storage unit for his job is by my house and he normally goes back for 4 to clean it so he drives past at around that time everyday I see him alot

Sounds like you're both very similar in terms of trust and jealousy. You should both be able to converse and be friendly with members of the opposite sex and no issues raised.

My husband has plenty of platonic friendships with women. I also get on with them, even though they’re his friends (eg from his work/his uni days). I’m fine with it, I actually encourage him to go out and meet them sometimes. We trust each other so no issue.

I shared the school run equally with my mate and her dh. For years. Never considered it odd. Those who do are bloody odd. Maybe tell your bf he can take dc to school if he cares so much.
He is a knob..

I do have some male friends as he has female he I meant if I saw him walking with one I would probably feel a bit jelous I wouldn't have said anything at all though!!!!

Why would you feel jealous though?

Can’t blame your BF if you’d be the same, but you’re both juvenile. Jealous of walking with the opposite sex, good grief what a miserable existence.

Part of what we do as parents is socialise with the parents of our children's friends.

We may not particularly like them but we walk alongside them on the way home so that the kids can amble along together or we have inane small talk conversations at school events or while we're hanging around at kids parties. It enables your child's friendships and means you have a point of contact for things like play dates or splitting travel to parties

It shouldn't be in any way a concern for your boyfriend whether the parent is male or female.

In all likelihood if your boyfriend does the school run or any of the associated events he'll end up chatting to or walking alongside one of the mums because it's far more likely that it will be mainly mums who are there.

His jealousy about what is a completely platonic and reasonable social interaction is concerning.

So why does he only have a problem now?

I think instead of just blindly accepting you would feel jealous you need to unpack why that is. Who has taught you that merely walking on a school run with a Dad who is also dropping his child off is wrong?

I did school runs for a decade and spoke to many Dads who shared the school runs with their wives/partners. Walking with someone is not having sex with them.

To answer my jealousy I think it would fully depend on situation if she was extremely beautiful I would feel jelous which I believe most of you on here would would see your husband with someone very attractive might feel if it was a mum and her kids on the school run i probably wouldnt feel jelous as it would depend on context.

Also the dad I walk with is not that attractive not that it matters he's a good dad and I think he's done a brilliant job with his child just thought I'd add incase people confused my reason for why I'd feel jelous with what happenedz

It is perfectly natural to walk home, the same way, with you son's friend and his dad. It's not as though you are walking out of your way to meet him. If you stop it will unnecessarily hurt a man, bringing up a child alone, who must appreciate the normal afternoon school chat with another parent. It will also upset your son who naturally expects to walk home the same way with his friend. If you suddenly stop, yet go the same way home it could have a very negative impact on this man who must be already grieving and could make him reluctant to approach other parents which would unnecessarily isolate him further.
I would not be stopping this platonic relationship and potentially spoil your son's friendship as well for your boyfriend who seems very insecure. If you do you are setting the scene for further demands regarding where you go and who you see in the future.

Jealous why?

Because they're walking down the road together? 😳

Right now you're both sounding as immature as each other.

I decided I wouldn't stop the walk he asked to take the kids to the park as he has no one for his son the hang around with too which I will also be going to. My boyfriend however may not remain in my life much longer.

To answer my jealousy I think it would fully depend on situation if she was extremely beautiful I would feel jelous which I believe most of you on here would would see your husband with someone very attractive might feel if it was a mum and her kids on the school run i probably wouldnt feel jelous as it would depend on context.

I'm mature enough to realise there are other good looking women in the world.

They're not a threat to me because I trust my husband.

If I couldn't, and I thought he'd leap on every beautiful woman he walked down the road with, I'd divorce him.

It's your son's mate's Dad. Does your boyfriend not realise that men can parent too? Presumably he'd never dream of dropping or picking up your kids, even if he's driving in exactly the same direction at the very moment you're walking to school? Hmmm...
Basically tell him to grow up. You're not 'close' with this man, you're just being friendly and are walking in the same direction. Your sons are playmates. Is he planning on barring your son from being friends with children who have fathers?