Is My boyfriend right I shouldn’t do the school run with a dad

[Bedandtoast]

Basically my son started school recently and he normally waits outside for his friend who live on a road near ours and we all walk back together. My boyfriend drove past and seen (he knew we walked) but he heard me say something like well hopefully I will see you tomorrow when I left.
he argues that I shouldn’t be close with a man I just met and theres no need. This man is a single dad who’s wife passes and had no ‘mum’ friebds. I feel so torn because if my boyfriend was walking with another mum I might get jelous but it’s so obviously platonic

Why do people assume that any single time a man is with a woman or vice versa that if they are in a relationship it is not appropriate. It is walking to school because the kids are friends and u both head the same way nothing wrong with it if your a genuine adult who doesn't go off searching for affairs and have that trust there's no issue what so ever. This relationship screams trust issues. Tell your bf we do not want to shag every man we come into contact with contrary to his belief

So he doesn't trust you to walk along the street with a man. That's really sad.
But, you've said you'd be jealous also, so I guess you're just as bad!
If I saw my husband walking along with a woman I didn't know I'd just be curious who she was, as I would be if he was a man who I didn't know. Even if my mum was walking with someone new I'd ask "who's that?"

Your boyfriend managed to overhear your conversation with this dad?

Wow. That's worrying. It's a good job you're planning to dump him now.

This is how I feel too. Jealousy of walking with someone on the street is honestly alien to me.

He's being ridiculous and paranoid. How dare he even bring this nonsense up to you. How disrespectful. I'd consider splitting up as this is just a sign of his attitude and things to come.

🙄

I'm going to assume you missed the laughing emoji.

DH does most of our school runs. He has a handful of people he finds tolerable at the school gates. Most of them are mums. I’m not going to stop him chatting to them FFS!

Is your son the father of your children? Does he have his own children?

My boyfriend drove past and seen (he knew we walked) but he heard me say something like well hopefully I will see you tomorrow when I left.
How on earth did he hear you if he was driving past?
I’d tell him he’s being utterly ridiculous and leave him.

Well he’s got one hell of a cheek. Tell him that you’ll talk with whomever you wish!

It doesn't matter how good looking this other parent is, you are allowed to walk down the road with your children, giving them a good role model of how to interact with other and build friendships.

You do not have to ignore him just in case your boyfriend drives past, you do not have to walk a respectful distance behind him and his child, nor do you need a chaperone.

This is bullshit, and is based on his belief that you are his property and he doesn't want another man stealing it. He doesn't see you as a grown adult with agency, he has no respect for you.

Dump him, he's a turd.

You definitely can't say "see you tomorrow", it must mean you want to screw him and cheat on me. Oh and I definitely followed you to spy on you (because i dont trust you - I'm projecting). Almost definitely am going to cheat on you in future if i havent already, because i'm projecting, I accuse you of doing what I do because I do it and I expect it from everyone, it's my norm.

Just throw the whole man out, get rid. Then spend some time and search for some videos on toxic behaviour, watch them, learn them, look out for and avoid them.

It sounds like the boyfriend isn't your child's dad? Perhaps he doesn't understand or care about parenting norms.

Either way he's being very controlling and weird. I would not feel jealous if my DP was going the school run and chatting to a mum because I expect men and women to parent, and this is part of parenting.

I don't see why you walking with a man and his child would be a problem. I wouldn't have a problem with my husband sharing a school walk with anyone.
What I am ridiculously careful about is letting my child go to places with just that adult and child and I would accompany them to the park etc. until I was absolutely convinced my child would be looked after as well as I'd look after someone else's child.

I was going to say this but OP says she would feel the same if the situation was reversed
Doesn't sound like a great relationship if neither of you is allowed interaction with the opposite sex at all

I can see some people might feel weird if their partner was going for a lovely scenic hike with someone of the opposite sex. But this is the school run - you're not walking with the dad, you3r son is walking with his, and they're just at an age where you accompany them

Which is more important to you, your son spending time with his mate, or pandering to your boyfriends irrational jealousy and controlling request?

As an aside, have you thought about sharing the school run sometimes so you're not both doing it every day, if you live close by. If he is a single parent he might be grateful for the extra half an hour free half hour...

Honestly I think this is a red flag as well. There’s nothing wrong with walking to school with another parent ffs!

YANBU. A sign of immaturity in a relationship.

Get rid of him and start working on why the same situation would make you jealous. YABU for assuming everyone else would feel jealous. I couldn't give a shit who my DH did the school run with - I'd just be thrilled i wasn't doing it.

My boyfriend however may not remain in my life much longer

Good.

You both sound really immature.

This is toxic monogamy culture writ large. What’s wrong with doing the school run with a person that happens to be of the opposite sex?

Your boyfriend is a red flag. And tbh so are you.

I have left my partner but I'm honestly so surprised on everyone saying immature for feeling jelous surely if you don't act on it and it's just a feeling in your stomach it's caused by a reaction not a maturity for example getting cheated on in the past or a past experience. Honestly surprised I agre3 with him making comments on it and made me feel like I had to pick is wrong but surely the feeling isn't?

If you share 100% mutual trust and know that nobody else is a threat to your relationship then there's no need to feel that way, is there?

No Jealously shouldn’t be a normal feeling in a relationship.