Is My boyfriend right I shouldn’t do the school run with a dad

[Bedandtoast]

Basically my son started school recently and he normally waits outside for his friend who live on a road near ours and we all walk back together. My boyfriend drove past and seen (he knew we walked) but he heard me say something like well hopefully I will see you tomorrow when I left.
he argues that I shouldn’t be close with a man I just met and theres no need. This man is a single dad who’s wife passes and had no ‘mum’ friebds. I feel so torn because if my boyfriend was walking with another mum I might get jelous but it’s so obviously platonic

Your boyfriend's a prick.

OP has been self aware and honest saying she'd feel a twinge of jealousy but would rationalise it and not bring it up or make it his problem. Cue lots of people trying to police her feelings. OP, fair enough. If he did what you would have done, there'd be no problem.

Good decision!!

Your boyfriend is a twat. I’ve walked to school with parents of both sexes, some I liked, some I didn’t really. The school run is for the children and they like to walk with friends. Obviously if you can chat and share a joke with the other parents that’s great.
BTW, if you were to have an affair it’s usually a symptom not the disease. Not that it’s the right way to do things, just saying that happy people don’t go round having affairs.

I assume he isn't your DC's father?

How long has he been in their lives?

I honestly can't imagine a scenario where either DH or I would be jealous if the other one was walking wiht our children and a very attractive opposite-sex parent. It just doesn't feature in my world view.

I mean, sure, if DH suddenly starts going for coffee on a regular basis with a super attractive, single woman, then I might be a bit concerned (depending on context), but walking from school? No.

It's worrying that your BF feels this way and that you can even see his point. It just isn't a thing - you are casually walking int he same direction with a man and his child while you are with your child. That's about as normal and innocent an action as I can imagine.

What does he think you should be doing instead? Walking at a 100m distance from your son's friend? Or deliberately trying not to leave at the same time?

You both sound rather immature.

Ditch the boyfriend.

When my kids were on primary, I walked back from the morning drop-off most days with a guy. His wife worked FT and he was a SAHD. He was my walking buddy and I looked forward to it. Nothing sinister going on—no funny business. Just two parents gossiping about the latest ins and outs at the school. DH was never threatened, and I would’ve been unhappy with him if he had asked me to stop walking home with my friend.

Your boyfriend is insecure, sad and controlling. Did he drive past you by chance? Possibly not.

Do I need to qualify my answer first by saying my partner has several female friends and I have never had a problem with this, just so I don’t get policed by the women here who think we’re a hive mind?

OP, he’s being absolutely pathetic and controlling. Don’t put up with being treated like this.

This is a massive red flag. Get rid of him - he sounds controlling and paranoid.

You're an adult with a child. You aren't messing around anymore. I cannot tell you how important it is to not allow possessive controlling men into your life. Your son has to come first.

No, it's not normal behaviour at all.
My husband is always talking to the women that he runs a school club with, he texts his female friends all the time, I go to the park after school with the dads of my kids friends. Having friends does not threaten relationships. It does threaten weedy little men.

Please, for you and your sons sake, do not pander to this. Set a clear boundary and watch out because God help you if you move in together.

Pathetic. He must have ears like a bat to hear your conversation when he's in the car!! He's a paranoid loser. Ditch him.

I was just about to say this, I see those threads crop up all the time with the majority view being that he should be more respectful or whatever of the wife etc etc.

Very different views on this thread though

He must have good hearing, eavesdropping from a car that just happens to be driving past.

There could be a further red flag in him imagining what you said to the man. I fail to see how, if he is in a car driving past, he could hear what you were saying while walking m, unless you are foghorn leghorn (showing my age lol).

Like attracts like.

He's paranoid, you get paranoid.
He's insecure, you get insecure.

Step away. Don't tolerate paranoia.
Find someone who expects fidelity because they don't cheat.

'Close' next to him on the pavement isn't Close.

If you were going round for coffee after the kids had gone to school I might sympathise.

Dump the boyfriend!

Goodbye BF.

Good for you OP. I'd just say - my son wants to walk with his friend. I'm not going to stop him doing that because you're a bit jealous. Why don't you walk with us and you can see there's nothing going on? If he continues to be dramatic about it I wouldn't keep him around it any more; it is reasonable to make adjustments to your behaviour where your partner is jealous for good reason e.g. if there is someone who they keep hanging out with who is persistently trying to pursue them, or going out with this person every night instead of spending time with their partner. It is not ok to expect your partner to stop walking their kids from school with another parent just because they happen to be the opposite sex.

Why though?

It sounds like you're both very insecure.