To have snapped back at moody dp

[linziiee]

I wake up every morning with the the children while dp stays in bed. Dp is self employed and doesn't work late nights or early mornings. Mainly just a few afternoons a week. So no excuses for staying in bed and not helping. I wake up get 3 dc ready, take two to school and one to nursery before going to work myself. Dc woke dp up be with just general morning noise and he woke up vile, (it was 8am, so not super early) barging into livingroom shouting im sick of this, waking me up everyday. Wait until the weekend when your sleeping, ill wake you all up so early with banging. I defended them and said they've done nothing wrong, their just getting ready for school and they should'nt have to tip toe. You should be up helping anyway. Then he flipped on me calling me lazy when he is the poster boy for lazy. Now were not talking because he's mad at me for calling him out.

What exactly does he contribute to your relationship?

He sounds horrible. Yanbu to defend your kids every step of the way. And yes, what good does he bring?

Honestly nothing. Dc constantly tip toe around him because anything and everything annoys him. They don't enjoy his company and neither do I. I think 16 years together and ive just settled with what life has become with him.

Where do people find jobs that only need a few afternoons a week of work?

Do you work op?
I suggest that once your dh becomes an ex and has to solo parent he may learn what it’s like to get up on a school morning and you can get more lie ins.

What is the point of him?

Life is too short OP. You and the dc would be happier without him. Can you disentangle yourself from him?

Errrm, why do you stay with him?

He makes you unhappy and he makes the kids unhappy. Do you fear violence if you leave him?

What a horrible lazy bully, you’d be better off without him surely? What use is he as a partner and a father anyway?

Wow: 8am is luxury! My husband and I each get one 8am sleep-in a week on the weekend. I couldn't imagine being so selfishly self-indulgent while your partner does so much more than their fair share.

What a self-centred, indulgent, lazy bully. You were right to challenge him and snap back. He’s neither a father nor a husband. Get rid and have a better life.

Wait until the weekend when your sleeping, ill wake you all up so early with banging

Yeah you go right ahead mate. With your record of early starts, I'm not that worried.

Agree, he sounds all round rubbish. End it and have a peaceful life with the kids without him. Does he own the house?

Like he's going to get up at the weekend earlier than anyone else!

You have choices you know. Your children shouldn't be tiptoeing around their father. You shouldn't be the only one getting the children ready. I can't imagine he's a really nice decent man in other way. I can't imagine he pulls this weight financially or around the house.

Sounds like he is making your children feel uncomfortable in their own home. Regardless of anything else that is a very good reason to fuck him off.

Doesn't sound like he brings much to the home except misery for everyone, why are you putting up with it?

Honestly can't understand why anyone would stay in a relationship with a total prick like this.

I know what it's like growing up having to walk on eggshells for fear of setting off an angry and unpredictable parent. I refuse to live like that as an adult, and I would never put my children through that. Personally, I would be outta there.

WOW! 😲 how has this dynamic been created?. My goodness. You are going to have a very hard time changing it!

There's your answer, op. It sounds miserable. Time to separate?

Have you sat him down and discussed this with him. Have you asked him why he feels you should be the one getting the kids ready and taking them to school every day when you have a job?

So he is abusing you and your children every day.
Poor children.
You need to contact Women's aid and look at your options.
Can you get this vile pig out of the home?
Your poor children deserve so much better than this.

A DP is meant to make your life better, they are meant to be your partner. Not meant to make your life actively worse. Are you actually happy, does the thought of going home and him being there make you think "yay" or " ffs"... does your stomach sink when you realise he's awake/up/home? If any of those you answer yes, then what does this relationship give you?

What's your exit?

@femfemlicious I did ask him that. And his response is 'you're awake anyway so it makes sense for you to get them ready and take them. But if the shoe was on the other foot, he wouldn't take them, i'd still do it. We split household bills but i pay nursery fees, after school club fees, lunch money for eldest at secondary school, after school activities, clubs, school trips, days out and all other expenses that come with children and he had they cheek to ask what I do with my money. Honestly sitting here thinking about it he contributes nothing positive to our lives. We love it when he's out. He has such a negative energy. Oh and he gave a sly dig that when i get home from work after a 9 hour shift, i sit down and apparently that makes me lazy. I suggested we part ways and he got so nasty to me not abusive, but starts saying I couldn't cope without him and he'd phone social services on me.

Call his bluff and get the ball rolling

Dump him, enjoy life. Your kids deserve a happy home after years of misery.

Seriously OP WTF!! Split up and have a nice peaceful life, I mean as a lone parent it's not all easy but honestly I'd take my life over living with a useless arsehole

I doubt he would call social services, but if he did, they'd see that you're a loving mum who takes care of your children while he sleeps his day away.

He sounds absolutely vile. If my DH threatened SS on me for saying I'd leave, that would be the final push I needed to actually go