If you missed your kid's parents' night because you were on a term time holiday, would you expect the teacher to allow another appointment when you return?

[Purpleturtle46]

Just that really. Parents night same week every year and parents informed 2 months in advance.

YABU-yes the teacher should arrange to see you at an alternative time on your return.

YANBU-no, you booked and holiday and missed it so that's on you!

I'd suggest that sending their child to school is also in the child's interests.

If you go on holiday in term time then you can't be surprised if you miss something like this, parent consultations aren't going to be held in the holidays!

"If it's a matter of taking 2 reading books for the week or doing an extra 10 minutes on TT Rockstars it's a pretty easy message to convey."

Does that really need a special message to convey? Isn't it just common sense?

Meeting the needs of a child is sending them to school and not going to Tenerife during term time

I voted the wrong way not having read the post correctly. You are being mighty unreasonable to expect the school to go out of the way to accommodate you breaking its rules!

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo You can amend your vote by pressing the other option.

Of course not. That would be a piss take.

I used to, but I always made sure I had a clock on the table and at the end of their allotted 10minutes that was it. Stand up. “ Thankyou for coming in. You will need to go out by the side gate but the office staff will be able to buzz you out.”

Its like the crafty ones who try to get the last appointment because they think they will squeeze some extra time. I always used to watch out for parents trying this on, especially with new staff, and would do the
“ Sorry to interrupt MissNewTeacher , but there’s a call for you in the office” intervention.

"They didn't use their 10 mins on the night so it makes little odds if I give them 10 mins on another night when I'd be in school anyway."
That ten minutes they didn't turn up for is trapped time, though, and of little use to the teacher to do anything else in.

@Wonderfulstuff That's just common sense of things to do, why do you need to ask that? It's cheeky to ask for work if you're taking kids away.

Exactly. So if someone asks for seperate parents evenings don't ask just assume there's goof reason

No way!

It’s the parents responsibility to be reasonable and not to take their children out of school during term time. Then you wouldn’t have to rearrange your own time to accommodate them.

There can be many cases of domestic abuse which aren't reported and so social work and police wouldn't be aware at all.

Former teacher here (10 years primary)
Firstly, it is so annoying when separated parents request different time slots. I really lose respect when parents can' sit together for 10 minutes to discuss their child. OF COURSE exceptions would always be made for abuse/serious cases- that goes without saying.
With this one, I'd consider how much you need to talk to the parents, I.e. if the child is behind age related expectations, needing extra support or simply doing fine and also if the parents have specifically requested to see you. If they're doing fine, surely a quick phonecall would suffice. Ultimately I think it is up to your school's SLT to set the policy when this situation happens.

Perhaps the intention of the question is genuine rather than cheeky? Not everyone is out to shaft teachers and make their day even more ruinous that it already is.

Right, but is that what is happening in every school, or is this just a hypothetical situation?

Tbh I wouldn't have a problem if my children's school told me that they could only accommodate one slot per child, with necessary exceptions being made. If that is the case then that needs to be communicated to the parents. And it would also mean that the online system that is used would have to block one parent from booking a slot. How does the system decide which parent is worthy? Is it the one who manages to book first? The one with the majority of care? At the moment, there is nothing to stop both parents booking separate slots on the online system, so I think they can be forgiven in assuming that this is an acceptable option.

Separated families can be complicated and some comments here are attempting to simplify it.

Whose fault is it that the appointment is missed because of a term-time holiday?

I don’t think separated parents asking for an appointment each is that bad but I think going on holiday and expecting an appointment is on them and you shouldn’t have to facilitate that.

It is made clear to parents at our school that only one appointment is to be made per child and that any deviation from that plan needs to be OK'd by the HT.
In practice, in our school of 450 children, there are fewer than 4 or 5 requests.

Yes because all children deserve their parents knowing about their education whether they’re good or not

I mean in simplistic terms you could invite them in for a 10 minute chat at pick up. If you genuinely feel this is a stretch to far then clearly you have a lot of pressure and this is the tip of the iceberg? Because it’s 10 minutes… I have to do that in my job 1000 times a year. Do you genuinely care about the children or is it just a box ticking exercise? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes I'm the teacher, this is becoming a common occurrence. As well as separated parents asking for 2 appointments. It's becoming ridiculous

so ridiculous asking for a separate appointment to your abusive ex husband. Now you’ll have to spend 14 mins per child per year instead of 7

It’s tricky. Would I generally accommodate, yes I would of course. And I have also accommodated split parents, although many do come together.

I think the reason teachers are reluctant is that parents evening fall under their directed time. When you are having appointments at other times, these no longer are accounted for under their directed time, so they are then giving up their own time. Most of us of course will , but for something like a holiday it’s more annoying . And the same with split parents, of course we will accommodate, but if we end up having more appointments than fall under our directed time, we will be giving our own time. I think many teachers give a lot, they spend money on resources , they work very long hours and sometimes they have to say no and put in boundaries.

Appointments for doctors / nhs etc can’t be compared because they would fall in their working hours, they are not staying inpaid after hours to meet with split parents.

Genuine intention of what? Expecting me to plan work for your kid that you chose to take on holiday. No thanks. You want them educating, send them to school.

Our primary makes a point of saying if you can't make parents evening, let them know and the teacher can speak to you after school one day.

Secondary I'm not sure but I did go to his first which was just the form tutor. There was an option to go speak to teachers of core lessons but I didn't do it. I work at the school and saw his maths teacher one day who gave me a quick run down as she wasn't teaching. All I asked was if he was getting on okay but she went to get the paperwork! She had no idea prior that I was his mum.