If you missed your kid's parents' night because you were on a term time holiday, would you expect the teacher to allow another appointment when you return?

[Purpleturtle46]

Just that really. Parents night same week every year and parents informed 2 months in advance.

YABU-yes the teacher should arrange to see you at an alternative time on your return.

YANBU-no, you booked and holiday and missed it so that's on you!

Of course I care about the children but I am struggling to see how the parents choosing a holiday over parents night is my problem! Surely it's about their priorities and they have made the decision to miss it this time.

My 2 DC are at private if it makes any difference and I wouldn’t expect this. If I missed a parents evening (which I never have), I’d expect a teacher to get in touch with me if they had an issue they wanted to discuss with me. Otherwise, I’d assume everything is fine and I’d catch up at the next one.

It really pisses me off when people try to play the "don't you care about the poor children" card. Of course we care about them - we spend our whole working lives, not to mention a fair portion of our non-working lives too, striving to improve their chances in life. If a child is disadvantaged by their parent missing a consultation evening, that's on the parent, NOT the teacher.

Also, whilst it might seem like a "quick chat"after school to the parent, who probably likes nothing better than talking about their own child, it's much more onerous for the teacher, who is trying to consolidate a myriad of facts, figures and evidence in their brain, in order to report in a professional and knowledgeable manner.

I literally said "If it was taken to the extreme..." so clearly it isn't happening everywhere yet. It is becoming more common.
At secondary it's really difficult to fit all parents in anyway. This adds an extra complication, and usually means someone misses out.

Couldn't agree more!

"Our primary makes a point of saying if you can't make parents evening, let them know and the teacher can speak to you after school one day."

Well, there's a school I wouldn't work at.

@Purpleturtle46 i’m sure they didn’t book the holiday and think ‘oh that’s parents evening time but screw the teacher we’ll
take up her own time.’ It’s just one of those things… booked then realised and asked… I’m sure if they could of afforded to go away during a school holiday they would have, most people don’t take their kids out of school for a holiday by choice but because finances only allow them to go at that time.

Me too. Meetings like this often run on...

Cannot believe some of the responses here saying teachers are meant to bend over backwards and accommodate two sets of appointments! This is precisely why teachers are leaving in droves! Of course they shouldn’t be expected to accommodate if the parents are on holiday, I think that’s ridiculous.

Still their choice.

My ex was and is very abusive. I don't even like disclosing that now as just mentioning it sends me back there (just typing this has got my heart rate up and I feel sick). I don't see that I should have to disclose the abuse to each class teacher.

I wouldn’t expect them to create another appointment for me. I would send a quick email or message through learning platform to apologise and ask if they have any concerns about little lovelysummerdays? Or if naturally at pick up ask in person. I know my kids so not fabulous listeners ( constantly working on this) very able academically. There are no shockers at parents evening tbh. I don’t think the teacher needs to create time to show me jotters etc

OP you are a teacher.

That means you should give up your free time and give it to everyone else’s kids, even if this means spending a lot less time with your own kids or missing out on their parents evening.

As a teacher you should know that you are not allowed a life or family, as these just get in the way of your commitments.

It’s laughable that people think that a gp will offer you 2 separate appointments.
You can barely get one, let alone 2!!

Some posters are also failing to understand that it’s not just 10mins - it’s 10mins per child who’ve missed the appointment.

If you teach 100kids and 25 of them want a 10min appointment, that’s over 4 hours of appointments and that’s if parents don’t want separate appointments on top of that!

If a parent can’t make it for genuine reasons, then they can contact you and apologise and say that if there is anything that you want to discuss with them, then feel free to contact them when it is convenient for you.

I would not be wasting my break time or family time, on someone because they chose to go on holiday during term time.
If they cared so much about their kids education then they wouldn’t have gone on holiday during term time.

"most people don’t take their kids out of school for a holiday by choice but because finances only allow them to go at that time."

Read the room. You're telling TEACHERS that? We don't have that luxury of going in term time.

Absolutely not

Ha! I’ve been to parents evening tonight and it was quieter as lots of families are away already. So I don’t think you should reschedule. Our school have this parents evening at the same week every year, in the last fortnight we got the mid year report card too. If you go off early on holiday your kid misses school and you miss parents night, that your problem and teachers shouldn’t give up their time for your parenting decisions.

You don’t have to disclose it to the teacher.

But you also can’t expect a teacher to give up their free time just because you don’t want to go to parents evening and don’t give a reason why.

What do you do when your child needs a doctors appointment?

Absolutely not. Why is their time more precious than yours? Why should you give up another evening to accommodate? I would say something like “I’m sorry unfortunately the scheduled parents evening was last week. If you have a specific concern than please do come and speak to me at xxx and name your specific time’. I won’t even ask if their kids were taken out of school for the holiday!

Absolutely not. Why is their time more precious than yours?

because it’s your job. Do it during work hours, no-one is suggesting a Saturday night soirée. It’s TEN MINUTES

*You don’t have to disclose it to the teacher.

But you also can’t expect a teacher to give up their free time just because you don’t want to go to parents evening and don’t give a reason why.

What do you do when your child needs a doctors appointment?*

What a nasty post.

We were on holiday during a parents evening last year. We were really u

It isn’t your God given right to go an a holiday abroad each year. You are telling your kids that school isn’t important as they can just miss when it suits you and if there are rules they don’t apply to you because it isn’t financially doable to go on holiday at other times. To say that to a teacher who can’t go on holiday but out of term time is a bit rich.

10 minutes per request.

6 parents ask for this and it's an hour.

We don't teach just your child.

My job isn't spending endless hours talking to parents. I'm teaching during my work day. It's also not ten minutes when you teach multiple children. Remember, your child isn't the only one in the class.

If we'd missed parents evening for a holiday, I wouldn't expect to meet the teacher. I would email in and apologise, and I possibly would ask if they would be happy to let me know (via email if they wanted) of any concerns.

Definitely would not expect to put the teacher out with a face-to-face appointment or a phone call.