If you missed your kid's parents' night because you were on a term time holiday, would you expect the teacher to allow another appointment when you return?

[Purpleturtle46]

Just that really. Parents night same week every year and parents informed 2 months in advance.

YABU-yes the teacher should arrange to see you at an alternative time on your return.

YANBU-no, you booked and holiday and missed it so that's on you!

No fucking way.
But for separated parents, I don't see that as a problem if I know the parents have serious issues being in the same room. If they just don't like each other, I'd expect them to be in a room together for ten minutes.

Multiply that 10 minutes by 30

No
I think it’s irrelevant if school is private or state

Quicker for who? Maybe you as the parent but not the teacher.

This is why I liked online, last year we never got to see one of our son’s teachers despite me scheduling all appointments with gaps between because other arsehole parents thought their child was more important and worth more time than mine, and the parents night ended before we could get to our appointment and therefore the teacher couldn’t see us. I don’t blame her, she’d have been in school probably 12 hours by that point.

This. Come on, grow up. Or watch the other parent hear the notes over zoom if you really dislike your ex that much.

It’s in the interest of the child that at least one of their parents is up to date with their progress and wellbeing at school. Pain in the arse? Absolutely. Cheeky fuckery? Oui. But it is not the child’s fault for being removed from school for a holiday and the collaboration between home and school should therefore not suffer. Saying that, that’s where the flexibility should end. They should fit around your schedule for the meeting.

No. CF behaviour of the highest order.

Absolutely not! It's MY responsability to be there for my child. You are not being unreasonable at all. If they have a specific question they can send a mail. I can't believe having the cheek to ask for a meeting when having been absent for a meeting planned longtime. Entitled is an euphemism.

No of course not

Irrelevant

Quicker for the person ?teacher ?school admin who would have to email both parents - can you do Xpm on Thursday Mrs D, Can you do Xpm on Friday Mr D.
Responses back no sorry, I work till X, I need a later appointment, No sorry my other childrens school run is at 4 I need a different time....etc etc.

When 2 parents don't communicate the school would need to send time on this. Quicker to offer 2 10 minutes! (Actually 4 mins each for my school, I was being generous!)

I taught 55 kids in Y11 one year. Parents evening was crammed enough without every separated parent asking for a separate appointment. Thank goodness for directed time.

Obviously in the case of violence or abuse we'd be aware and offer.

Obviusly not in OPs case as she is offered just one slot at set time

I was a secondary teacher. Retired now.

Would I provide another opportunity for a missed parents’s evening. Almost certainly not. But I was never asked.

If they, later, had concerns about issues then possibly yes - but at a time to suit me. Or I might phone/email them. Just like any other pupil.

Would I provide classwork/homework, in advance, for pupils going away on a termtime holiday. No. I was asked, said no and was backed up by my Head of Department and House. Waste of time as they’d not do it as they are on holiday.

Would I provide 2 appointments for separated parents - no. Sort it out yourself. We did provide separate reports - photocopied.

One separated couple - Mum always came in but not Dad ‘very busy, important job’. Eventually he came in. Could I provide a daily email about his son’s progress, work, attitude in every lesson. Sorry - No. Suggest that he could, maybe, talk to his son a little more, check his hwk diary etc.

Absolute bullshit. You're being very naive. My ex attacked me in April and I had to go to hospital. I didn't immediately let the school or social services know but I didn't want to sit in the same room as her a month later.

There seems to be a misconception on here that all "together" parents both alawys attend each consultation.This is quite untrue. Most appointments end up with just one attending as the other one is likely to be looking after the kids at home (or not home from work/whatever).

No, one parent sorts the timing and the other comes along. Much like two parents that are still together.

Exactly this. I expect a lot of domestic violence goes on with no one knowing unfortunately

I don't think those on holiday should expect a slot.

Some of these comments are a bit ignorant about separated parents also. There's no way I'd be happy at the idea of only attending one parents evening a year when I do 80% of the care for my children.

For me it's a question of logistics and diary keeping. I have to book the slots based on my schedule and I don't know the details of my ex's schedule in the same way I did when we were married. There's nothing to stop him booking slots after I've booked mine as it's done on an app. This year I told him when the slots I booked were so he could attend at the same time, but he couldn't make that day and it turns out the days that work for me aren't the ones that work for him and vice versa.

It's really not acceptable to have to disclose domestic abuse either just to ensure you get a slot without your abuser.

I don't know what the solution is but I resent being lumped in with the crowd that take their kids on term time holidays as they are not comparable situations.

I think that is called parents evening.

teachers have lives too

In our ds's school you actually get offered to arrange an appointment in a different week if necessary and your appointment can be by phone, it doesn't have to be face to face.
They generally don't offer divorced/separated parents separate appointments but I know of one former couple that have individual appointments.
Saying all that, our school day ends at lunchtime during parent/teacher meeting week and I usually have to take time off work to attend as they're held between 1.30 and 3.30. I'm in Northern Ireland so we don't get fined etc for term time holidays.

Whilst I can see where you’re coming from, what if half your class have separated parents? Our parents evenings last around 3 hours. Parents get 5 minutes. Add another 10 appointments on that means an extra hour on top. For teachers who will have been in school from maybe 8am until 8pm with very little time for a break, that’s unacceptable.
We offer 1 face to face appointment a term. The first appointment is in September and it’s a meet the teacher session in class for the last 1/2 hour of the day. We would cater for separated parents on a different day, but not parents who just aren’t able to make it for random reasons. The other 2 meetings we can phone parents during the 30 minutes of directed time we have after school each day.

But how can you be aware of every case of abuser/violence? It is the statutory right of divorced and separated parents to have separate appointments and it’s not for the teachers or the management to decide who “deserves” this. I say this as a Head teacher of a small school and I know our families well but I would never dream to presume that I know all the domestic details of every parent. Ultimately we have to balance the rights of the parents with the working time agreement of staff and try to accommodate all appropriately.

👏🏻