If you missed your kid's parents' night because you were on a term time holiday, would you expect the teacher to allow another appointment when you return?

[Purpleturtle46]

Just that really. Parents night same week every year and parents informed 2 months in advance.

YABU-yes the teacher should arrange to see you at an alternative time on your return.

YANBU-no, you booked and holiday and missed it so that's on you!

The office needs a stock answer. This should be school policy and not get to teachers.

Go back to office and ask them to reply.

Yes, I would expect it. It's likely to take 10min and in the interests of the child.
Often appointments are made in other areas of life at mutually convenient times. And if the date is not convenient due to holiday then a different appointment can be arranged. It's irrelevant whether the holiday is term time or not. That's not really your business.

It would be quicker to give 2x10 minute appointments than to try to arrange that if you have parents who don't communicate.

And if you told me as the resident parent I could no longer attend every parents evening so the other parent could attend I would have a problem with that and be contacting the Head as needed.

I am a primary teacher and I would definitely have to accommodate this. I don’t really mind seeing a few parents on different days because it helps to thin things down on the official evening; and I don’t then run over.
However, people who come in on a “different” day always take about half an hour because they do not see the urgency of others waiting.

It is very unreasonable. Thinking it is reasonable means you have never worked in a school or as a teacher.

This is why we have stayed online. It’s one day, separated parents get the same slot but from their own homes (we don’t have enough slots for everyone so you can’t have 2). I would tell them to run and jump!

No

Glad your expectations seem very much in the minority then 🤣. If it affects me then of course it's my business!

I have asked previously. I asked the teacher directly and very humbly and would have been fine if they said no but they said yes and we did it straight after pick up on an alternative evening.
I didn’t expect it and I didn’t go through the office (to give the teacher the chance to say no privately).
At the end of the day I could have been an arse and called in sick every day and then insisted. Instead I was honest paid the fine and got on with it.

At secondary we haven't got enough appointments as it is without giving two for the same child

I think you should give a break to separated parents. Some have issues with abuse that you may not be aware of, so can't be in the same room.

YANBU with term time holidays.

You need to do it online with a meeting that just stops at the end of the allotted time. That way you are super helpful but only for 10 mins.

I work in secondary school and have worked in a few. Tbh, when parents ask for an appointment, they always get one unless there's a good reason not to give it to them (ie restraining order against one of the parents or some sort of order saying they couldn't come near the school which sadly does happen).

That said, entitled parents are gross and there are too many of them around

If you had a parents evening offered but chose to miss it due to your holiday then that's not school's problem

My youngest had his parent’s night tonight. I know a bunch of parents who have taken their kids out for the October week next week, but they flew out today to get a few extra days. They’re all moaning about the parent’s night not being moved and how they need to provide another appointment. Tough luck I say!

The problem is they then have to discuss personal matters with teachers, which is not on.

Separated parents should be able to ask for separate appointments without having to tell their business to the teacher.

No!

Absolutely not, as missing this was a choice. People who are saying YABU don't seem to realise that if we allowed everyone to dictate when they would like their child's parents' evening to be, we'd been doing them all on different days and times (which is ridiculous!).

What's the issue with asking? Noone expects you to be specifically happy about it, but at some moment it must be clear what will likely be covered. Yes, nice formatted instructions would take a lots of time, but sharing some kind of notes should be possible.

I'm a person who takes term time holidays and what we miss is on us as we don't make extra work for the teacher (DD needs no catching up she is ahead on core subjects and topics covered at home). I would be disappointed to miss parents evening but we will always miss something when we make the decision to take her out.

It isnt ten minutes if the divorce rate is currently around 42%. And that isn't including people who were never married and have split up. Adding an extra parents evening to accommodate people who do not attend parents evening means losing something else. What would you be happy to lose?

It's likely that many parents in the class will be separated though so that would therefore mean offering a lot of extra appointments! Would you expect other professional such as doctors or phycologists to do double appointments too if both parents wanted to attend and couldn't be in the same room together for the sake of their child (abuse/domestic violence aside).

I'm a teacher in Scotland. We would in no way be expected to see parents outwith the official parents' evening. If it was something unavoidable (not a holiday) then the parent could contact school and I would send a quick email on their progress but there's definitely no expectation to actually meet face to face.

fgs quoted wrong post.

No. Having multiple relatives who were or are teachers I know how massively overstretched they are. My step brother (high school maths teacher) gets in at the crack of dawn and often leaves late. In an ideal world then yeah, if benefits the child and teachers should have more time for this kind of thing. But the education system in this country is very far from ‘the ideal world’