If you missed your kid's parents' night because you were on a term time holiday, would you expect the teacher to allow another appointment when you return?

[Purpleturtle46]

Just that really. Parents night same week every year and parents informed 2 months in advance.

YABU-yes the teacher should arrange to see you at an alternative time on your return.

YANBU-no, you booked and holiday and missed it so that's on you!

Schools are informed when there has been a domestic incident. So unless it happened before their child started school, we would know.
Nearly all of our separated parents expect and get a separate appointment despite the increased workload on the teacher. A number try to drag the school into their petty disputes. It’s not fair on teachers. You chose to have children together so, for the sake of your child, need to parent together.

I'm going to assume that the majority of poster on this thread have Primary age children.

You are all going to be shocked when your child goes to High School as if your not quick enough when appointment become available you will probably not see at least one of your child teachers as they do not have the time to see the minimum 60 parents let alone those parents who can't be adult enough to speak to their child's teachers. Oh and you not be seen at the right time as they will be running late.

But no OP YANBU, if parents choose to go away during term time then they will have to wait until next parents evening or maybe a quick email.

In some industries unpaid overtime is a given

The abuse won't happen in the room, though - most abusers aren't that stupid. No, it will continue away from the eyes and ears of others, after the appointment. Most abusers are incredibly good at keeping up appearances in front of others.

Doesn’t mean that it’s okay, or should be tolerated? I say this as a health professional who also works unpaid overtime but certainly would not expect a teacher to make exceptions such as OP’s post.

No you wouldn't know. You would know about reported domestic violence sure. If it hasn't been reported or authorities not involved you may not know.

YABU, the teacher can't set up 300+ separate appointments for parents for when it suits them across the year....

Thanks for all the responses, glad to see 90% of parents wouldn't expect another appointment. I wouldn't book a term time holiday (not that I could anyway) if it meant missing my children's parents nights. If I did though I wouldn't dream of asking the teacher for a separate appointment, I would just accept it was my choice to miss it on that occasion.

I will ask my HT if there is any policy on it (although I expect not). I agree with what some have said that it should be in agreement across the school so it is consistent and if one teacher allows it one year then the next teacher will also feel pressure to do so.

I think a lot of people commenting it's only 10 minutes are not realising that their child is not the only one in the class. Class WhatsApps are out of control so all it takes is for one parent to say they got a separate appointment at their own convenience and the others jump on the bandwagon and as many have said it creates longer appointments without the pressure of someone coming in behind you.

Obviously as with all school/teacher related threads some come on just to stick the boot in where they can and derail the thread. Being a professional isn't just accepting all demands made of you, it's also about making the best use of your time. The vast majority of teachers I know work well over their contracted hours so any additional meetings are absolutely going to be the teacher giving up their own time to do so.

As someone who is generally anti-school bureaucracy reading some of the replies on this thread is depressing. Ffs no wonder teachers are leaving in their droves - imagine teaching the kids of these spoiled parents who think the world revolves around them and you owe them your incredibly limited time at their complete beck and call.
Op imo unless this particular child is really really struggling I not give an alternative night - a note home 'Johnny understands the work, needs to speak up more in class' should suffice.

We use Parentcloud which in theory allows for this, but of course, there are 25 slots of 5 minutes each. Potentially, the Drama, PE and Art teachers have every Year 7 group once a fortnight, so 180 students.

Any parent who happens to be free when the notification that appointments are open grabs what they can. Dozens of parents won’t get slots. Even if there’s only one Year 7 group on my timetable, that’s more children than slots. Some schools offer 2 evenings per year group but that’s unsustainable with all the other after school commitments.

We have to report once a year according to teacher standards. We complete written reports on every child plus attitude to learning, on top of parents’ evening, plus 2 other lots of attitude to learning spreadsheets (drop down boxes on the register). No way am I offering more!

I think separated appointments is appropriate where there is a history of DV. It's unfair to expect a parent to sit in a room with someone who has abused them, but if both parebts retain PR then they both have a right to be involved in their child's education

@Purpleturtle46 sums up this thread nicely, don’t you think? Insinuating that unpaid overtime is a “given” in some industries. It’s the same with the comments stating it’s only ten minutes (?!)

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession, no surprises after some of these comments. And no, I am not a teacher, but hugely support them. Especially with all the crap they endure! Thank you teachers for all that you do.

No. I didn't even get offered extra appointments or a response to my email when the 3 core subject teachers (english, maths, science) were all off sick for the first parents' evening of high school (year 8, due to covid we didn't get one in year 7 so I didn't get any proper update on progress in these until year 9).

I feel sorry for anyone who has been through it and have a lot of sympathy but surely you see that separate appointments are not the norm and it is not feesible to give to everyone and so to get it you need to put in a special request and that involves giving some (however high level) reason as to why you need it.

Not double appointments, but on many occasions I have done a quick call to the other parent after their childs appointment to keep them in the loop, where the other parent has called us to request this. 95% of the time this is quick and politely appreciated.

I'm a teacher. I'd offer one of the following:

A phone call or online appt during their holiday.
A 10 min call during my PPA or assembly time on their return.
10 min appt at 8.30 or 3.15.

I would not be staying late into an evening for this or doing it on my day off etc.

There needs to be a way though to differentiate who falls in to this category rather than people who just want it for convenience whether that’s separated parents with no domestic violence or married parents who don’t have childcare or have other things on so find it more convenient to go separately.

No but also (whispers) unless there is some sort of concern re your kid, parents night doesn't really matter that much. All we ever got was x is doing well, needs to look at these topic areas as per the syllabus, and that was that.

Yes I do, and have never worked in a school where that isn't the case (primary).

No, and nor should they set work to be completed while the child is away.

No. Your fault not theirs

I didn't say it was ok. And I don't think the time should be made up.

No.

Yes "I don't want to be in the same room as my ex" should cover it

In our private, there would be a general expectation that they would meet outside of the expected time.

If i emailed my child's teacher now, I could have a meeting this afternoon if I needed one.

At my friends state, she is yet to meet the class teacher, and if she emailed her, wouldn't get a reply for days.