If you missed your kid's parents' night because you were on a term time holiday, would you expect the teacher to allow another appointment when you return?

[Purpleturtle46]

Just that really. Parents night same week every year and parents informed 2 months in advance.

YABU-yes the teacher should arrange to see you at an alternative time on your return.

YANBU-no, you booked and holiday and missed it so that's on you!

No misunderstanding. That is exactly what happened. NB The exam timetable is available a year in advance and all our seniors were given printed, individualised timetables.

In one memorable case, the parent had decided to take a long weekend in Barcelona. She informed the school office the week beforehand and became angry when told that we simply couldn't rearrange the time of the exam. This was someone with a university degree. [ETA The child missed the exam.]

A slightly different case: a kid failed to turn up for his exam. His pals started laughing: "He's in Turkey!"

We phoned home. (If we can get the candidate in within the first half hour, they're allowed to enter the hall late.) No answer. We phoned the emergency contact, the grandmother: "Why are you phoning me? You gave him permission to go! I have heart trouble - you shouldn't be bothering me!"

It turned out that the parents had left it up to the kid to check whether he could go on holiday...He'd simply lied to them that it was fine.

There are other examples, but these stand out in my memory.

Sorry - wrong thread

Our school policy was if you miss parents evening then the teacher would do a 5 minute call during their free or before 5pm. If that wasn’t convenient then parent got an email.

How lucky you are, to have never been a victim of DV.

How unfortunate you are, to be so profoundly lacking in knowledge or empathy.

I don’t understand why they can’t have their meeting over zoom / teams ?
there is no need for face to face and this can therefore fit into your schedule.

I was literally about to post what @Proudestmumofone1 Our schools have carried on with Zoom calls for parents evening since covid and it works great. You just go online and book your spot and can still attend even if you're working away (or indeed, on holiday in term time!). The teachers have the ability to cut the call if people are going over time and parents who live separately have the ability to be in the same conference without being in the same room. You can also request an in person meeting as the teacher is in the school building throughout.

@WearyAuldWumman I’m actually astounded. It’s quite astonishing that teachers seem to have to deal with kids missing public exams as BAU. It would explain why they’re not necessarily available for a quick ‘10 min chat’ at the whim of parents.

No, of course not!

I thought it was insane years ago but I'm increasingly seeing why people homeschool.

YANBU at all.

If you have any major concerns with their dc then worth arranging a call at YOUR convenience as in your interest as well as theirs to resolve (although I’d hope if any major concerns you’d have raised them already). Otherwise, I’d ask the office to reply to say you are unable to make additional appointments, however you have no major concerns with how their dc. Is doing.

No. However given you can make an appointment with your child's teacher to discuss their progress during the term regardless, you would still be able to get an update that way, but not necessarily in the same depth. Ultimately it's a wee bit CF to assume they will

No. Whether private or state, no. Maybe you could ask for a summary by email but they don't they don't.

If parents want a meeting with the teacher outside the scheduled parents' evening, they should be prepared to pay for the teacher's time at a standard fee of, say, £25 per slot, payable directly to the teacher in advance.

Do you do gate duty would thst be an opportunity? You shouldn't be obliged but does it benefit you to meet with them in anyway? Why were they on holiday mid term anyway, I would have little sympathy for people who care so little about education.

If you are forced I would go down the online route so you can control the length of time.

Its not the point of the post, but do parents really only get two catch ups per year, seems so low. How can parents assess how their children are doing or make adjustments from that amount of contact.

My daughters have 6 per year, 1 per half term but that's in private school.

I don't think you can know that. My ex was abusive to me, but I would never let that on at the moment, because it is the only way to keep things halfway amicable for the sake of the children. The moment I speak out will be the moment he will make things very difficult for everyone, so that will not happen until the youngest is old enough.
At parents' evening I have to point out that my child only does homework every other week because their dad doesn't usually bother with homework. I couldn't mention that in front of him; all hell would break loose.

An awful lot of abuse gets swept under the carpet and there will be many people who, for that reason, will not want to be in the same room as the ex.

if you want special treatment then yes you should have to explain / provide some information as to why otherwise it’s completely open to abuse

If doctors give a second appointment someone else misses out , generally they have a maximum number of appointments in a day.
for a teacher to give an extra appointment they would need to add it on to the existing workload

Yes. The requirement is to do a parent's evening. A parents evening that this person made a choice not to attend. They weren't unwell. They weren't stuck in traffic. They weren't working shifts. They made a choice. I am not paid to fill in every gap in every child's life that I teach. And I teach in an independent where entitlement is off the scale. And there is no way my Head would demand I do an appointment in these circumstances.

Most people are saying that it is fine in domestic e situations to have two appointments but not otherwise as there simply isn’t time.
I understand disclosing it must be hard but surely you can see that if you need something that is the exception then you need to request it and provide some info as to why ( one sentence - not going in to any details) otherwise every child in the class might ask for separate appointments.

I am a victim of DV. To put it bluntly, it's not the teacher's fault and me having 2 slots might mean another parent doesn't get any. I work in a secondary school and the blanket answer for double appointments is no.
Besides, if the abuse was that bad that the parent is not safe in a room with them and another adult, then I'm certainly not going to put myself in a position where I'm alone in a room with them

Well, I would think it none of the teachers business why a parent couldn't make it. I'm sure some must miss due to work or other commitments. So yes, I would hope teachers would offer alternate times though I would expect parents to make it a time as convenient and close to school letting out as possible.

That said I'm not from the UK and find some of your school attendance stuff Orwellian.

Another teacher with students that have missed GCSE exams due to booking a holiday. Then parents phone in outraged and demanding a resit. They didn't like being told the opportunity to resit would be next year and at a cost to them.

Not a chance! Separated parents fair enough though, you have no idea what they have been through with each other.

If you teach 300 children and this becomes an expectation it isn’t 10 minutes.

@Purpleturtle46 As a teacher in Scotland I think it is easier for us to push back on this issue (I am also a Scottish teacher). Your WTA outlines the number of hours allocated to Parents Evenings and if your parents appointments add up to more time than allocated within the WTA you can go back to your HT and ask them to either control the number of appointments you have or ask where you can get time back in another area of the WTA. Alternatively your HT could give you additional CCR to pay you back for working over your agreed WTA hours. I am an EIS Rep for information.