To think that marriage is an outdated concept?

[YourAgileUmberPoet]

In today’s world, marriage just seems like a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore. AIBU to think that marriage is outdated and unnecessary?

The beauty of choice is that everyone can opt for whatever suits them and their preferences.

But if you choose to believe that marriage is an outdated concept, just don't complain about not having the legal protections and rights which are afforded to those who marry.

If you don’t want to get married then don’t but I don’t think it’s outdated. People who say it’s just a piece of paper show their ignorance.

I remember an article years ago about a devoted gay couple who had been together for decades. When one of them died the surviving partner got nothing and he lost his home . It was really heartbreaking. It was quite a few decades ago now so I don’t remember the details except how sad I felt for the remaining, quite elderly man.

Marry me 🎶 I promise it can be beautiful #Ifeelasongcomingon

Are you just trolling?

Seven years so far and she's still the best. Also, we didn't meet until later in life (first time for both of us), so we know our own minds, and didn't get married for any other reason than we wanted to.

I get why you would say that, but not all men are cheating arseholes. Reading mumsnet makes me cringe at times though.

Well you could argue that any contract is “just a piece of paper.”

Contracts tend to be very useful however when one party decides not to abide by the agreement. You would have to be thick as shit to think otherwise.

The fact that FIL and his partner of over 20 years never married is about to cost their children tens of thousands of pounds now that they have both passed.

As so often happens- first reply nails it

Don't get married then simple.

As for others getting married, why do you care?

Marriage for romance and love is a fairly recent concept. It's always been a contract or 'just a piece of paper'

a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Well there can be significant tax advantages.

Plenty of people get married without fully understanding the legalities their signing up for. And plenty of people don't get married, and don't realise the legal aspects they're missing.
Whatever people do (get married or not), they should understand the implications of that decision. Not getting married makes a lot of sense for some people. Less so for others.

I think many people don't actually think about it in these terms. I didn't. But people should. They think about the love or the faithfulness and the fact it's based in religion. But people really need to be alive to the contract that you are undertaking

That "piece of paper" has

• allowed me to live abroad with my partner
• had tax implications for both of us
• affected the nationality of our elder daughter
• allowed me access to a spouses petion if DH had died
• entitled us to family housing from DHs employer.

But yeah.. its outdated and worthhless

Yes because how.many.marry and divorce.
Very few take the vows seriously these days.
For better or worse, in sickness and in health etc.
Marriage isn't what it used to be.
People jumpship easily these days.

What's also.outdated is the woman taking the man's name why?

Embarrassed for you

Are you a bit confused? Those are only the vows of a particular religious institution’s take on marriage. I had a ten-minute civil ceremony, and all I stated was that I was free to marry and that I was marrying DH. Nothing about duration.

And women taking men’s names is a ridiculous anachronism.

Parts of the traditions are archaic and sexist- taking the man's name, man proposing, father giving bride away etc but at its core it's just a legal contract.

A Legal marriage or Civil Partnership can have tremendous financial implications - usually to the advantage of SAHP's (mostly women).

It can be a disadvantage to a person who owns property before marriage And their partner doesn't.

Everyone should research and decide for themselves judging by their own circumstances and expectations.

Its not just an emotional decision.

You may wish so.
But no.

To the op.

The tax benefits are minor.

It's a contract that protects the lower earner.

It only hinders the higher earner.

It is very odd to me that marriage is not entered into like any other financial and legal contract. You don’t get an actual contract setting out what your rights, responsibilities and conditions are, and what is the contractual basis of your partnership.

Marriage vows can be religious… or any old made up stuff.

I think there needs to be education about the legal aspect and the contract should be produced by solicitors. It affects almost every financial and legal force of your life!

On a moral / social level it sticks to the old religious framework. But why is that still necessary? What if 2 women and a bio Dad want to form a 3 adult family?

I don't think marriage is outdated or just a piece of paper but each couple can make their own decisions thankfully.

I was and still am very happy to be Mrs husbands surname.