To think that marriage is an outdated concept?

[YourAgileUmberPoet]

In today’s world, marriage just seems like a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore. AIBU to think that marriage is outdated and unnecessary?

It's not just a piece of paper, it's a legal binding contract, I wouldn't say it's an outdated concept, but whether you require one or not is totally personal choice between couples if they feel they need it or not, if you can't see yourselves being together for a long time then there's really no point IMO.

I work in the funeral industry and I see it time and time again where partners who have been together for sometimes decades (but crucially, never married), are completely excluded from the funeral of their partner because they aren't the legal next of kin.. in the worst case scenarios the 'family' who are next of kin, who may not have spoken to the deceased for YEARS, do the opposite of what the person wished and don't even let their partner visit in the chapel of rest to say goodbye, or have any say about the funeral or even decide what happens with their ashes afterwards etc.

It's heartbreaking, but I've seen it happen plenty of times to differing degrees to know that marriage isn't just a piece of paper.

What an uneducated opinion. Hopefully after reading all these posts you will now have more knowledge on the subject.

And there you go, proving the point of the poster above you.

It should be easy to get a divorce but, thanks to having been married in the first place, the person coming out of the marriage in the weakest financial position, be it through illness or because they have given up or lost ground at work to bring up a family or care for their parents, has rights to not necessarily walk away penniless. If that couple hadn't been married, that default carer could be left homeless and on a very limited income.

I think too many women sleepwalk into marriage without understanding the legal implications of what they're signing up for.

I think too many women sleepwalk into having DC and becoming financially dependent on their partners without understanding the legal implications of not being married.

@YourAgileUmberPoet you need to educate yourself about the legal implications of marriage before starting such goady threads.

You argue marriage is outdated and unnecessary. Why did, in some places still do, gay people fight so hard to gain their right to legally marry if the whole thing boils down to a pointless bit of paper. They could have surely saved themselves their investment of emotion, time and money by not bothering if it's so unnecessary.

It's not the bit of paper. It's what it represents. Love, commitment, security, legal rights and protections. But you already know that's what it means, even if it's only to others and not yourself.

Anyway, as a debating point, it's a really old chestnut.
Oft, but not always, trotted out by commitment phobes and people selfish with money when their oblivious fuckbuddy partner wants marriage.
Also described as selfish shits who want the option to cheat and/or piss off without warning or consequence.

Why not go the whole hog and say no birth certificates because that's also just a bit of paper. No child support then either. Result👍 DNA test result letter...bit of paper...ignore.👍 Letter from CMS bit of paper...ignore👍

Posters sharing this view usually want to get married but their bloke is reluctant. It’s a bit protesting too much.

I quite like mine, thanks.

What is with all the godey one sentence statements on here today?

But it's perfectly fine if the man earns more?

🤯

No. Yawn. Read the 100's of threads about this. It's a good thing.

Any woman with kids who doesn’t have a ring on her finger is living extremely dangerously in my opinion.

Start of Q4 and admin need to get the site activity levels up for advertising revenue calculations?

It gives you legal rights and protection that you can't get any other way.

Mines great thanks.

you must be doing it wrong OP

Astounding ignorance of Law OP

There’s legal protection and benefits for married couples that singles, even with kids, don’t get.

It’s a personal choice as to whether you want to get married, it’s not law you have to be married.

If you don’t like the idea of the institution for yourself luckily you don’t have to partake.

"Be respectful." Pffft. Don't start threads and then scold people who disagree with you.

Marriage is a legal and financial contract that has an important role in protecting women and children from the actions of shit men. No-one has to enter into that contract if they think it's outdated.

So YABU.

@PortiasBiscuit got to disagree there. I have kids and my divorce cost me a lot of money. That money could have been spent on my kids, particularly since I receive negligible maintenance from my ex now. If I hadn't been married I could have just walked away and not owed him anything. Every couple should take proper advice and decide based on their specific circumstances.
.

Lets see how long you manage to do that :)

Marry me. You won't be disappointed.

I haven’t scolded anyone for disagreeing with me - most people in this 3-page thread have shared their differing opinions respectfully. I specifically addressed the individual who commented within seconds of me posting, labelling it as “goady bollocks” without any constructive input. It’s interesting that you’ve overlooked that context.

This comes up every few weeks on MN I love being married personally, others might prefer being single. Each to their own.

Yep. I think it's utterly ridiculous.

Its an example of straight privildge really, not thinking marriage is important anymore. In some places the legal bits aren't as important, where we live we don't need marriage to have the same rights, but those rights unmarried people have here don't carry on if you leave the country to go on holiday etc, so its still very risky.

I got married as I wanted to belong to my husband, and I love belonging to him, on top of that it provides added protection if one of us decides to cheat, be abusive etc. It means in cases of serious ill health our families can’t prevent us visiting each other in hospital, makinf choices about care homes and funerals, the bits we like to keep hidden away as we don’t want to think about them.

OP how many friends do you have who never saw their partner again after they were admitted to hospital, never got to go to their funeral, or even keep any of their belongings? Ask a gay person, we know loads.

But - it IS goady bollocks.

And telling someone to be respectful IS scolding.