To think that marriage is an outdated concept?

[YourAgileUmberPoet]

In today’s world, marriage just seems like a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore. AIBU to think that marriage is outdated and unnecessary?

Well one reason could be that civil partnerships are not recognised outside the UK, AFAIK.

A lot of the traditions surrounding a marriage and a wedding are certainly outdated but it’s the easiest and quickest way for a couple to put the legal practicalities of building a life together - inheritance, next of kin - in place.

Whether marriage is right for you and your individual circumstances will vary but on the whole, it provides a number of protections to both partners.

Op can I please have all of your money because it’s just bits of paper.

If the woman earns far more than her partner, and has far more in assets then yes it is hard to see a benefit to marriage.
This is because in a divorce apart from the man gaining half of the woman's share, if there are children you can usually expect a mother to do the decent thing for her kids.

But men have form of going on Tinder and getting a replacement piece in pronto time, and squandering everything that his ex wife has worked for on his latest new grubby gold digging conquest, and not giving two hoots about his children's future. So OP in that regard yanbu!

Civil marriage has existed for almost 200 years: marriage hasn’t had to involve religion for a very long time. As a previous poster has said, civil partnerships aren’t recognised everywhere, and many people object to them as they only exist in the U.K. as a result of objections about same sex couples being able to marry.

It is a contract and bestows rights.
If it was not serious then people would not be wary if it or not want to marry. You have to think carefully if it is for you.

Yes very outdated. I also think that putting rings on people to signify ownership of them is 😱

Why? Protections go both ways. Or do you think men should not be protected?

Talk to all the women on here who have been fucked over when a partner walks out and leaves them with no legal rights whatsoever.

So don’t exchange rings then, it’s not a legal requirement

Yeah this. ^ A few threads like this on here today. 🙄

Oh FFS. 🙄

The only ppl I ever heard say it is just a piece of paper were sahm woman whose bf refused to get married to them and they lived together and had dc, sorry but they had all stomped their feet over it to the bf and eventually gave up as they were stuck now and put on a front with the piece of paper line. Plus a few decades ago there was still illegitimacy stigma.

if you are a woman that does not want to marry as she has assets etc, she does not say piece of paper, she knows it isn’t and is more honest about not wanting to.

I couldn't disagree more. It confers legal rights which protect each party in the case of separation/divorce. It's absolutely imperative for women especially those who give up their careers to raise children.

Well, apart from love and all that, it's a pretty important piece of paper for a woman like me who gave up her financial independence to raise the children and support her husband in furthering his career. Covers my arse if we should split, and also makes it less messy should he die before me unexpectedly. Not sure what's not to like really. It may not be necessary or suit everyone. Suits me though.

All I’m going to say is that judging from the number of horror stories on here about step parents, step children and unsuccessful family blending, it would be in everyone’s interest, especially the children, if more people were more careful choosing their partners and took their commitments seriously, married or not.

But marriage protects the mother who often gives up work or works part time to raise the couple’s small children. And rightly so.

this. Do it if you want to, don't if you don't

Well, presumably nobody is forcing you to sign that piece of paper?

I wouldn’t give up your full time job any time soon to look after children, if I was you though!

Lots of people think this, until they end up 10 years down the line, having given up their job or gone part time to take care of the home and children, with an adulterous not-spouse, and find themselves penniless and devoid of any rights to the wealth their not-spouse has accumulated off the back of their work.

Or until their not-spouse ends up in a coma or for another reason, in need of a next of kin to make a decision for them, and it's not them, so they have to rely on the relationship with the not-in-laws if they are to have any say.

Or if the worst happens and they find that none of their late not-spouses property belongs to them.

It's hardly outdated, it has all kinds of important legal and financial implications.

When people live together as a couple, especially if they have kids, they start to make decisions as a family - that is, they will do things for the good of the family as a whole which might not be as good for them separately.

This is not a bad thing, it's good for families and their kids to work together in this way.

If couples do this without being married, there is a real risks that one at least will be penalized at some point for making family oriented decisions.

Marriage helps ensure that they benefits and costs are spread out more fairly. And it also means that people have an opportunity to reflect on this union rather than walking into it accidentally. (Even if some choose not to take that opportunity.)

Sure just like housing documents. Piece of papers. Chuck them out.

🙄🙄🙄

Until there is a legal issue. Then your 'bit of paper' can be worth millions

I know and this interchangeable spouse with partner or bf/gf. And step parents that just aren’t because there is no marriage. You need the in-law but to be a family member.

How did you come to that extremely bizarre conclusion?

It depends what part of the concept you consider outdated.

The bit of paper as you put it is a public declaration and recognition of your relationship, and it conveys significant rights. For us, one of the most important was recognition of next-of-kin status. Without that bit of paper you could find yourself aged 50yo having lived with someone you love for 25 years and yet if you're taken seriously unwell it will be you 75yo mother making decisions as to your care.