To let DD (16) vape?

[WildInTheSky]

DD (16) vapes and so do her friends. I’ve tried everything to stop her vaping but she still vapes. Would I be unreasonable to just let her vape at this point? She knows the health risks and is nearly an adult. I’ve tried everything to get her to stop vaping and I’ve offered to support her to quit too but she is still vaping so I don’t know what else to do at this point. What would you do?

I mean assuming she's getting hold of them herself and you're not buying them then there's nothing you can do to stop her. But I wouldn't allow it in the house - make it a PITA for her to do at home

No I wouldn't support her (although that won't stop her) but I certainly wouldn't be giving her any money while she's doing it.

Don’t see how she knows all the health risks of vaping when no one really does. All the experts say they don’t yet know the long term damage of vaping.

I meant that she knows it’s a risk to her health.

Would she be open to the nicotine free ones if it's a social thing? She would still be vaping but without the addictive element (she may need patches for a little while if she has been using nicotine vapes for a while)

She’s getting hold of them herself. I am already enforcing the rule of not vaping in the house. I’ve tried to get her to stop vaping altogether but can’t.

She’s using elfbars at the moment, not sure if those have nicotine or not.

I wouldn't "let" her as such, I'd take them off her if you catch her with one and absolutely wouldn't allow it at home. You can't completely stop her from doing it at 16 but you can make it as difficult as possible.

The money she’s using is from her part time job.

you can tolerate it without enabling it. don't let her vape in the house, don't let her talk about it, don't encourage her to spend money on it.

but equally, don't sniff her clothes or threaten punishments if she is vaping with friends. that will just make her lie.

It's an awful habit and can have some horrible health consequences. It also looks awful and "common".

I would not give her any money or cash

Yep they do, tbh most that are in shops do have nicotine, you can definitely get nicotine free ones though (online for sure). I would try to encourage her to move to these so at least in a couple of years when being cool isn't the be all and end all she will find it much easier to stop altogether

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to stop her from vaping altogether.

It’s fine.

I wouldn’t “let” her, no.

You can aware that she’s doing it away from the house and thst there’s little you can do about it.

However you can be clear that this isn’t an accepted thing. She doesn’t do it in the house or on your property (garden etc), you don’t expect to see one and that if you do come across one you’ll bin it.

I’m already enforcing the no vaping in the house rule and she knows she can’t vape in the garden either.

I would probably stop funding any clothes, make up, mobile phone, bus fare etc whilst she continues to vape. If she’s got money for that she can fund everything else. I certainly wouldn’t be paying for driving lessons once she turns 17 either. Vaping is grim and I know it makes me a snob but I struggle to take adults that vape particularly seriously.

How do you know she's still doing it? Can you smell it on her or is she leaving them lying around?

She’s admitted she’s still doing it. And I’ve seen a few elfbars in her room still that she’s bought.

She’s also said that she doesn’t want to stop vaping!

I’m not happy that she’s vaping but I’m not sure what else I can do.

When you say you've tried everything, what HAVE you tried?

Big Vape: The Rise and Fall of Juul

If you haven't seen this, I'd give it a watch, and make sure she does too.

I’ve already watched this with her and It still didn’t change her mind about vaping unfortunately

I would tell her that you hate it and how upset it makes you to see her wrecking her body but no I don’t think you can do much more.
Just don’t give her extra money, don’t let her have them lying around or vape in the house or garden - hopefully she’ll come to her senses. Is there something she wants more that she could save up for? To motivate her to stop buying them?
I would be horrified if my kids vsped (the environmental damage alone would stop mine I think - they are super eco-minded - more than me) but thinking about it I don’t suppose I could stop them at 16 without damaging our relationship.
maybe if you set the clear rules and then back off she will actually find it boring but still be able to talk to you.