To let DD (16) vape?

[WildInTheSky]

DD (16) vapes and so do her friends. I’ve tried everything to stop her vaping but she still vapes. Would I be unreasonable to just let her vape at this point? She knows the health risks and is nearly an adult. I’ve tried everything to get her to stop vaping and I’ve offered to support her to quit too but she is still vaping so I don’t know what else to do at this point. What would you do?

I would go in her bag or room or wherever she keeps them and throw them out. I’d tell her she looks like a moron sucking on little tubes that smell like air fresheners. I’d tell her she can forget XY and Z for Christmas if you see her do it again. I’d tell her that you’ve been in touch with the school and they’re to let you know if they catch her vaping in or near school. I’d say Dad is furious about the vaping and that he’s upset and disappointed. I’d take away any treats / luxuries. I’d make her life difficult.

To be honest I’d go fucking bananas.

Who is selling her them ? or buying them for her ?
as both is illegal.

I wouldn't call her a moron, but I agree that someone definitely needs to toughen up and actually make it clear that this isn't acceptable. Softly softly doesn't work with stuff like this when they refuse to stop.

If you’re going to give up letting her smoke I would still keep these basic standards: - not on your property. No vape kept on your property either, so if she vapes it’s not convenient. Also aside from this I’d nag nag nag for years- one word- cancer. Don’t give up

This and this again!! Can I borrow you?! I’m a teacher and the amount of kids now vaping frightens me, when warning kids in PSHE they just don’t equate it with smoking cigarettes.

I have the same problem. I don't fund them for her but I know any money she gets (ie jobs or her dad etc) she'll buy a vape. Or someone will give her one. Everytime I found one I'd chuck it out.
But it just doesn't stop.
It seems like all her friends vape and she's been doing this since last year too. I know at that age I was trying smoking but it's not good. I've had loads of chats with her about the risks and she doesn't seem to care, tells me what I want to hear until I catch her.
I even was trying to find out what shop she was getting them from to tell them because she's underage.
It's a real problem in teens.

Try the vanity route - tell her she’ll end up with a mouth that looks like a cat’s puckered arse.

Same here. I’ve tried everything here too but she just doesn’t want to stop vaping it seems.

she is not nearly an adult - don’t be silly. I think you are being a bit feeble about this.

Needs treating like any other kind of substance addiction, because that's what it is.

You say she has her own money from a job but do you give her any money? If you're paying for anything I would switch to paying directly rather than giving her an allowance. Chase up local shops if you know where she's buying them. Make it as difficult and unattractive as possible.

I'd let her do it, but get her a reusable vape with juice. It'll save money and she'll be on less nicotine than the disposables.

Tbh, MN isn't the best place to ask about this. Smoking and vaping is seen as worse than genocide on here.

There's no evidence that vaping causes cancer.

Maybe something will come out in later research. But in the meantime, chatting bollocks doesn't help persuade anyone.

This.
You probably can't stop her but equally don't normalise it or make it easy for her.

I wouldn’t be giving her any more money for anything from here on tbh (if you do). If she chooses to spend her money on vapes then she might have to go without something else. I’m probably not the best person to give advice though as I am totally bewildered by the number of people on MN who spout the “nearly adults” line when it comes to teenage behaviour. Where I live 16yos are generally treated as young people whose brains haven’t caught up with their bodies and who still need a lot of parental input and guidance to get them to adulthood.

I'm in the same boat, though my DD is almost 18. She got the vape from her boyfriend. The first vape we found, we threw it out, but her BF gave her another. DD currently doesn't work, so we said we wouldn't ever pay towards her habit. She ended up getting another vape from her BF. We didn't like this & said if we ever found it lying around we'd again throw it out. We too considered "letting" her vape, but at the end of the day, she is still a child (albeit almost adult) living under our roof, so we ultimately decided it's still up to us to guide her to make good decisions.

No judgement here. Either way, there is no right or wrong answer. You do what you think is best for your family. Good luck, it's a jungle out there.

Problems vaping causes include:

• Asthma. Vaping can make you more likely to get asthma and other lung conditions. It can make your existing asthma worse.
• Lung scarring. Diacetyl, a chemical used in some flavorings, can cause bronchiolitis obliterans (“popcorn lung”). Bronchiolitis obliterans causes permanent scarring in your lungs.
• Organ damage. In addition to your lungs, nicotine and other substances in e-liquid can hurt your heart and brain. We know nicotine can hurt brain development, raise your blood pressure and narrow your arteries.
• EVALI (e-cigarette, or vaping, product use associated lung injury). EVALI is a serious lung condition that vaping causes. It causes widespread damage to your lungs and gives you symptoms like coughing, shortness of breath and chest pain. EVALI can be fatal. At least 68 people died from this in 2019/2020
• Addiction. Nicotine is highly addictive. It causes changes in your brain so you want more and more nicotine. You might not be able to stop vaping if you want to or if it starts causing health problems. Even e-liquids that say they’re nicotine free have small amounts of nicotine.
• Cigarette smoking. Many people start out vaping and end up smoking cigarettes, which contain higher amounts of harmful chemicals.
• Second-hand exposure. Vaping doesn’t make smoke, but people around you are exposed to nicotine and other chemicals when you vape.
• Explosions. There have been incidents of batteries in vaping devices exploding and causing serious injuries and burns.
• Cancer. Some ingredients in e-liquids are known to cause cancer.

Some damage to your lungs from vaping can heal or get better with medications. Others, like lung scarring, are permanent. Over time, constant irritation to your lungs can lead to health problems (like asthma and COPD) that won’t go away.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21162-vaping

Common? I'd previously heard smoking called "common". Obviously vaping is far beneath you also. Does that make you feel superior? Around here "common" are the balaclavas clad groups of scallies bricking random people's windows street by street, attacking adults for no good reason and they carry knives. Between the ages of 11-17. Don't give a fuck which grown adult they attack.
You might be as common as the next victim with their windows put through. Unless y'know you'd like to class yourself as a term way higher than common which excludes you. These kids are rampant all over the country. Good luck eh?

She should watch this with Jordan North

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001xj1p

No way would I facilitate letting her vape at home. Agree with others to make it as difficult as possible to do it!

This. My 16 vapes, as do all her friends. She has a reusable one with lower nicotine juices, which I prefer to the disposable ones. Tbh, I think it’s relatively small fry in comparison to the other ‘opportunities’ available to her at this age.

They’re all good kids; nice, normal, kind girls. But they’re now at the age where there’s alcohol at parties, they’re trying proper smoking, and drugs are around. I’d rather not lose my shit about vaping (although obviously make it clear I’d much rather she didn’t, and make sure she understands the health risks), and keep an open dialogue with her about the bigger stuff (like what to do when she gets offered drugs at a party etc). This is the case at the moment. They all have a bit to drink sometimes, and I know about it. But I also know she’s safe and if she needed my help she knows I’m not going to hit the roof.

I see it as a learning curve. When I was 16, me and all my nice, normal friends were drinking, smoking, etc. Doesn’t mean we’re all smackheads now, it’s just a normal part of growing up - experimenting, trying things out and learning your boundaries/making choices. She’s definitely going to make mistakes, as we all did, but that’s normal!

For those of you who are demonising it, I assume most of you drink alcohol? This is also a drug with many adverse health affects. How is that so different? Just because it’s what you grew up doing and seeing?

Diacetyl is banned in the UK.

Seriously? How do you interact with smokers?
I vape now and make damn sure never to blow it out into any other near persons vicinity. As a smoker I stepped away from other people and even stuck the cigarette behind my back when prams were about to come past me, not exhaling.
People can have a nicotine addiction but not be an absolute twat in public y'know.

And EVALI is primarily associated with vitamin E which is almost exclusively used in THC vapes

I would do this. Completely withdraw financial support. I’d probably consider charging her rent tbh.

It isn’t snobby to not want a child to vape. It’s bad for her health.

I would go absolutely wild as well and come down really harsh on this. Stop paying for anything like phone etc. Does she want to learn to drive soon. Only when she stops. And so on. Home earlier at night if out. No out at friends on Saturday nights etc. just make life harder. Also point out how ridiculous vaping looks. Look at who vapes when you’re out and what that looks like. What does she want to do when she gets her A-levels. It’s not seen as acceptable in some professions in same way as smoking is frowned upon.