To let DD (16) vape?

[WildInTheSky]

DD (16) vapes and so do her friends. I’ve tried everything to stop her vaping but she still vapes. Would I be unreasonable to just let her vape at this point? She knows the health risks and is nearly an adult. I’ve tried everything to get her to stop vaping and I’ve offered to support her to quit too but she is still vaping so I don’t know what else to do at this point. What would you do?

Nothing worse than looking COMMON 🙄. Honestly the pearl clutchers on here, residing in their ivory towers above us plebs, not so silently judging us all.

I'd rather be common as muck and rough as arseholes than have an over inflated sense of superiority that's not even based in reality.

Sounds like you don't have an option as you have tried to stop her and failed.
I have warned DS that he will be in big trouble if I find out he is doing it - loss of phone and bank account frozen.
His school has said that anyone found in posession of a vape will be facing expulsion so he knows how seriously to take it, even to the extent that if he finds one on school grounds he knows that he has to alert a teacher instead of touching it

It’s so hard at this age, it would help if the damn shops didn’t sell to them but then I guess they’d still find a way. My DD (almost 17) also vapes. When I found them a year ago I went nuts (I’m a non smoker), threw them all in the bin, took away privileges. Only to find she was still doing it but had stopped being open with me about anything. So we sat down and discussed it, I don’t approve, it’s not allowed in my house- ever but I admit I can’t stop it. She earns her own money and is in college. I’ve recently started getting her to come to the gym with me as I’ve found the more she’s around me the less she vapes so I know she’s only really doing it now in between college lessons, I’m still not happy but honestly what can you really do at this age.

My daughter started vaping around 17, socially, at parties etc. I told her why she shouldn't be etc etc but at the end of the day, what am I going to do? Lock her in her room? She spends her own money.

18 is th3 legal age to buy vapes in the UK. Aren’t there consequences for shops that are caught selling them to minors?

I would cut her off financially - no money for phone, clothes, etc. Every time I'd find a vape it would be thrown out. If she is having to pay for her phone, make up, clothes she wont be long about not wanting to spend it on vapes.

I would actually rather my children smoke cigarettes' than vape and I say that as someone watching their dad die from COPD caused by cigarettes.

Stop paying for anything at all for her barring food and education (bus fare to school etc if needed). Basic clothing bought if something wears out. My teens would never ever do something I was dead set against. And tell her if you find one in your hour it goes in the bin.

Other kids sell them in school.

So chuck them.

She has a part time job so she has money from that and you’re not going to be able to stop her doing it, but I would not allow any in my house. I don’t have any family or friends who vape so it’s a rule I could enforce without being a hypocrite. If you’ve got family or other visitors who do bring them into your home, that’s going to be tricky.

But if not, just tell her that any you find you will bin.

Vaping should only ever have been a way to quit smoking. Unfortunately it’s now a new addiction. It’s bloody awful and I know how lucky I am that neither of mine are doing it. What a total waste of money, aside from the health issues.

I went nuts when I first found out too but unfortunately she still vapes and doesn’t want to stop.

I thought vaping was to wean yourself off cigarettes? Or a safer alternative?
( That is until I read that young people are opting to vape by choice whether a smoker or not)
No I wouldn’t let her vape in the house.
And come down very hard on her - totally agree

So the Elfbars that she is using at the moment have nicotine in? Sorry I don’t know much about vapes so it’s all new to me! I’m a non smoker so it’s even more frustrating that DD has decided to vape!

Like I say, I really don’t know what I can do at this point though because I won’t be able to stop her from vaping except in the house?

This is what I mean, I want her to stop vaping but to be honest I don’t think I can stop her now, there’s nothing else I can do at this point that I’ve not already done to try and get her to stop.

They have LOADS of nicotine and are very very addictive.
I have been addicted to them for a year, and at the end, was vaping almost 2 a day).

I moved to a re-usable one, that I use with nicotine-free liquids.
Now I vape way less, just because I have removed the addictive component. There's still the "gesture" habit, but at least I don't put nicotine in my system anymore.

Did you smoke before vaping? DD has never smoked so it’s even more frustrating that shes started vaping!

She’s never smoked so she’s definitely not using vaping as a way to stop smoking!

Loads of teenagers who have never smoked are now vaping. The flavours are geared towards them and not adults trying to quit. Absolutely disgraceful. In you position I would pick my battles carefully. She knows your feelings on it and will be aware of the health consequences. I would not allow it to be smoked in the house.

You're in a tough spot, OP, but of course you would be unreasonable to let your 16 year old vape. Would you let them smoke cigarettes? It's exactly the same thing. Where is she buying them, as it's illegal to sell vapes to anyone under 18 in the UK?

There are some good US sites with info and advice on helping teens to stop vaping, but I assume you've tried these suggestions and your DD still won't engage. I guess all you can do it keep talking and listening to her, remind her that buying them is illegal and smoking them will damage her health. Really, like most things, it needs to Government to legislate, like they have done in other countries (e.g. vaping is illegal in Australia, unless you have a presciption; in Denmark and some other countries, manufacturer's can't use any flavour other than nicotine in vapes etc).

https://utswmed.org/cancer/community-outreach/join-a-conversation/beating-nicotine-together/how-to-quit-vaping-teen/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-67426340

I have tried all this but she still wants to vape unfortunately.

I wouldn’t give in. She has two years of childhood yet and she needs you to be her parent. It sounds as though you have exhausted the education route but I would still continue with thT as eventually something must sink in. I would also go down the the punishment/ consequences route. ie- grounded so that she comes home straight after school. Can you talk to the parents of her friends to try to build some support among the parents? I would be worried that she doesn’t seem to care about her health and also the disrespect she is showing you.

And for all those getting cross about the pp who says it looks common, well, it does look awful because it sends a message that the child doesn’t care about her body, or that no one is looking out for the child’s interests.

You can't stop her but you don't have to condone it either.

If she insists on vaping she does it outside of the home and not when she's with you.

What that does to your relationship in the short term probably won't be great but it is important to model adult to (nearly) adult boundaries to her so she knows if other adults in her life do things she doesn't like, that she doesn't have to put up with it and that she has choices.

Yes, I was a big smoker, that's why I started to vape, just to quit smoking.
In my case it's been a success story in the sense that smoking is a distant memory now.
It still blows my mind that kids are now picking this up. Still better than cigarettes but what about not being addicted at all?

This attitude absolutely baffles me. You'd prefer your children to inhale a toxic amount of smoke that is proven to cause cancer when there's an alternative available that has none of those toxins in it? An alternative that, as it stands, shows no good evidence that it causes cancer?

Because you personally don't like vaping? Do you hear yourself??

Seriously OP, this is not the place for a sensible opinion. People talk the most painfully awful shite on here. As if in any logical world, it's preferable to smoke cigarettes!

I don’t let her vape in the house or garden, I enforce that rule