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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I feel awkward seeing my friends naked

128 replies

Sundaycoffee · 08/10/2024 22:52

How do you feel about seeing your friends walk around in the nude? Is it assumptious of them to think you would be fine with it? Or am I the prude?
One of my friends is perfectly comfortable whipping everything out when we are away together (e.g when she is changing she will just stand there chatting to me totally naked). It makes me feel awkward and I don't know where to look.
She's a size 22 so everything is very "out there" I don't think her being smaller would make me feel differently but it's definitely a lot harder to try and ignore her gigantic boobs 🤣
Would you be fine with this? AIBU?

OP posts:
MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 08/10/2024 22:54

I have a friend like that I think I'd seen her boobs within a week of meeting her. Fifteen years later and she was helping me with my wedding dress and laughed it was the first time she's ever seen mine! It doesn't bother me, but she respects my choices too

minipie · 08/10/2024 22:55

This is unusual behaviour from your friend and it’s pretty normal that you find it awkward.

I don’t think she is doing anything wrong exactly, in some ways I wish we were all so carefree about nakedness, but I think you should absolutely feel free to say you would prefer to talk to her through the door while she gets changed.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 08/10/2024 22:57

I don't have any friends like that.

I've plenty of friends who I've got changed in front of and vice versa, but I'd think they were weird if they stood and had a full on conversation with me whilst stark naked.

mardirousse · 08/10/2024 22:58

I genuinely don't know why you mention her size

NunyaBeeswax · 08/10/2024 22:59

You know... I don't think I've ever seen anyone naked beside partners and kids.

I never saw my mum or dad naked, that I can recall. I'd never choose to be naked in front of a friend and if a friend stripped in front of me I think I'd be mortified and leave.

dothehardeststuffnow · 08/10/2024 23:01

Cultural, perhaps?

I am from a country where women sunbathe topless and locals genuinely don't bat an eyelid

Echobelly · 08/10/2024 23:02

We went to a spa in Eastern Europe on holiday with some mates where nudity seemed to be normal in the baths/sauna (not sexual, just normal practice there) and to be honest, it's as much of a deal as you make it, we just all styled it out!

Candyfluffs · 08/10/2024 23:02

I think it can be quite common especially if you’re at the gym.

Candyfluffs · 08/10/2024 23:04

My dc once asked why women have to cover their chests and men don’t…and I didn’t really know what to say….

Waiting9 · 08/10/2024 23:09

It’s possibly life stage dependent perhaps? I’m in my 20s and have definitely seen my friends in different states of undress for example staying over at each other’s homes, living together at university, getting ready for nights out, going to the gym/spa/sauna or getting ready on holiday together. It’s not that unusual especially if one person needs help with something like doing up a dress, or one occasion where the shower broke and someone came in to quickly fix it, or worst case if someone ended up very drunk and needed to be helped to get home and in bed. That’s just off the top of my head though thinking back the last few years!

Original poster
Sundaycoffee · 08/10/2024 23:09

Candyfluffs · 08/10/2024 23:02

I think it can be quite common especially if you’re at the gym.

Yeah totally get this when people are changing at the gym and spa and that doesn't bother me at all and I don't pay any attention. It's more the expectation to have a full blown conversation with someone with your knockers and everything else out with the assumption that you're going to have to look directly at them/make eye contact

OP posts:
sorrythetruthhurts · 08/10/2024 23:25

Waiting9 · 08/10/2024 23:09

It’s possibly life stage dependent perhaps? I’m in my 20s and have definitely seen my friends in different states of undress for example staying over at each other’s homes, living together at university, getting ready for nights out, going to the gym/spa/sauna or getting ready on holiday together. It’s not that unusual especially if one person needs help with something like doing up a dress, or one occasion where the shower broke and someone came in to quickly fix it, or worst case if someone ended up very drunk and needed to be helped to get home and in bed. That’s just off the top of my head though thinking back the last few years!

I was in all those situations in my 20s and no one was ever naked having conversations with each other. Pretty sure that only happened in 00 lads movies like Road Trip and American Pie and even then they call them out on how it wasn't reality.

Pigeonqueen · 08/10/2024 23:27

I would not want to see any of my friends naked. Insanely weird. No thanks.

Waiting9 · 08/10/2024 23:29

sorrythetruthhurts · 08/10/2024 23:25

I was in all those situations in my 20s and no one was ever naked having conversations with each other. Pretty sure that only happened in 00 lads movies like Road Trip and American Pie and even then they call them out on how it wasn't reality.

Show quote history

Not sure why you quoted me. I did say in my post I have seen my friends in various states of undress. I’m not saying there was a full blown conversation every time, just that I’ve definitely seen them in various states of undress!

Whatwilltomorrowhold · 08/10/2024 23:30

Never seen any friends naked in my life 🤷🏻‍♀️ not even boobs I don’t think 🤔

Disturbia81 · 08/10/2024 23:31

@sorrythetruthhurts Same here I've never seen any friends naked. I wouldn't know where to look!
I've had a randomer start a chat with me while she was totally naked in the gym and it was too much for me 😆

wellington77 · 08/10/2024 23:32

I don’t think I’ve ever seen my friends naked, so yeah, your mates are odd!

Slothfully · 08/10/2024 23:33

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SpiggingBelgium · 08/10/2024 23:33

It would be weird if they stripped off in the canned goods aisle of Sainsbury’s and asked “So is your mother’s hip any better?”, but if it’s in a context where people are getting changed, I wouldn’t find it weird seeing a friend naked. I see random naked women at the gym all the time.

wellington77 · 08/10/2024 23:35

SpiggingBelgium · 08/10/2024 23:33

It would be weird if they stripped off in the canned goods aisle of Sainsbury’s and asked “So is your mother’s hip any better?”, but if it’s in a context where people are getting changed, I wouldn’t find it weird seeing a friend naked. I see random naked women at the gym all the time.

This has made me have a good giggle ! Hahaha! I can imagine the scene now!

DoYouReally · 08/10/2024 23:36

I've never seen any of my female friends naked nor then me.

I would be uncomfortable too.

Original poster
Sundaycoffee · 08/10/2024 23:37

Waiting9 · 08/10/2024 23:29

Not sure why you quoted me. I did say in my post I have seen my friends in various states of undress. I’m not saying there was a full blown conversation every time, just that I’ve definitely seen them in various states of undress!

Show quote history

Agree. A friend asking to zip up their dress or getting out from the shower and catching a flash under the towel is fine, but to stand there and have a full blown conversation with your bits out to me feels like its being forced onto me without my consent. I just don't want to see it

OP posts:
SocksAndTheCity · 08/10/2024 23:44

You said your friend is changing; this normally involves getting undressed? Provided she isn't changing in the middle of the street I can't see what's odd about it.

If I'm changing or getting dried and dressed (at a spa, swimming pool or the gym or similar) and chatting to whichever friend I was with it wouldn't even occur to me to think it was odd. If you don't want to look at her then don't but the issue here is with you, not a woman in a changing room doing what people normally do in a changing room.

That said, I hate people faffing so if she was just rattling on while making no effort to get dressed and ready to go I'd ask her to get moving, since I don't want to stand in a changing room all day.

Original poster
Sundaycoffee · 08/10/2024 23:53

SocksAndTheCity · 08/10/2024 23:44

You said your friend is changing; this normally involves getting undressed? Provided she isn't changing in the middle of the street I can't see what's odd about it.

If I'm changing or getting dried and dressed (at a spa, swimming pool or the gym or similar) and chatting to whichever friend I was with it wouldn't even occur to me to think it was odd. If you don't want to look at her then don't but the issue here is with you, not a woman in a changing room doing what people normally do in a changing room.

That said, I hate people faffing so if she was just rattling on while making no effort to get dressed and ready to go I'd ask her to get moving, since I don't want to stand in a changing room all day.

Yes, it's more in the sense that she will be partly or fully naked and then just stop what she is doing to have a conversation. If she was in the process of getting changed and she was only nude for a few seconds it wouldn't bother me quite so much.
To give an example there was a time we were sharing a hotel room and she was getting into the shower and I asked her a question while she was in the en suite and instead of just answering from the bathroom she walks out naked and stands there for 2 minutes talking to me while I was just sitting on the bed reading. She sort of went "sorry obviously I'm naked" and then stood there and carried on.
I think its the whole standing there still in front of me and carrying on a convo that weirds me out as then I feel inclined to have to give her eye contact back 🤣

OP posts:
BulletinBoard · 08/10/2024 23:57

Wouldn’t bother me I’d look elsewhere and keep chatting. After a couple of hospital stays, having to show all areas for specialist medical examinations, having a kid, having brazillian waxes, breastfeeding at the drop of a hat in public, I’m pretty relaxed now about my body. I wouldn’t deliberately stand and talk nude but have no shyness either anymore.

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